An American Fish Out Of Water In South Korea

The End Is Nigh!

2008-04-16T16:46:00.003+09:00

Just two more days of teaching left. I think I'm going to have to wrap up this blog, finally. It's been two years of every type of experience imaginable. I have made wonderful friends, and not just acquaintances. I've had the most wonderful experiences, seen some beautiful things. I've had to deal with open hostility and hatred from all sides. I've had to endure hardships and adversity. In the end, I came out of it a different kind of person.

I was just thinking yesterday about how strange life is. I never would have thought a little over two years ago that I would teach in Korea. I hadn't thought about Korea in years, it's not a country you think about a lot. And then if you go back a little over a year ago, I never would have thought I'd stay for a second year. But, the wonder of life is in those unexpected changes. If I hadn't come to Korea, I wouldn't have met my wonderful friends. If I hadn't stayed for a second year, I wouldn't have gotten closer to some friends and I wouldn't have made others. I wouldn't have gotten a tattoo. I wouldn't have gotten really familiar with the hospital or swallowing a endoscopic camera! There are so many things that I wouldn't have done.

In the end, Korea was a positive experience for me. It's been very difficult, but it's allowed me to endure and to persevere. I will look back at my time here with mixed emotions. I will always remember the difficult times when I almost left the country. I will remember the hurtful and nasty things that happened to me, and it will make me behave better towards others. Of course, I will think of the wonderful friends I made here and all of the great times and conversations we've had.

Korea is not for everyone. But that doesn't mean that everyone couldn't make it here. It just takes some determination and an open mind. As the Koreans are so fond of saying when faced with adversity... FIGHTING!!!!

Songtan Is Not Just For Drinking...

2008-04-14T15:49:00.006+09:00

It's also for shopping! Here are some pictures I took this weekend so that I'd remember Songtan and the good times I'd had there. First of all, I love Songtan early in the morning. There is no one out yet. You can walk the streets and everything is still closed. It's really peaceful, which Songtan usually isn't. Usually it's teaming with U.S. military and Koreans selling everything you can imagine.
Here is one of the bootleg DVD stores. Any DVD, just $5. They have the latest theatrical releases. Obviously, as you can see, copyright is not such an issue here, neither is anything trademarked. I'm pretty sure that Disney and Pixar did not give permission for a "Finding Nemo" themed bootleg DVD store.Here is the Blue Opera. It's our favorite place to just sit down in Songtan. In the summer when it's ridiculously hot outside, we pop in for the AC and some ice tea. In the winter we pop in for some hot tea. Really, it's so relaxing in there. The atmosphere is great, and it's the image that most often comes to my mind when I think of Songtan. I've spent hour after hour in that place, often two or three times in one day. It's not uncommon to spend 3 or 4 hours in here throughout the day.Here are some of the crazy things for sale in Songtan. Sandra actually bought me this statue of liberty with a dragon holding a sword letter opener. She said "Now, you'll never find something like this again." We both appreciate the tackier things in life!Check out these pants. Now, I love this. Who believes this crap? The price tag said "MSRP $405." Ok, so the manufacturer's suggested retail price is $405. But, this store is selling it for $28. Wow!!!! That's a great discount they have here in Songtan! Yeah, I think it's a knock-off. Also, who the hell pays $405 for a pair of jeans?This is a pencil holder with a green bear/frog or something like that holding onto it. The funny thing is that to me, it looked as if the animal were vomiting into the pencil holder, as if it had been out drinking all night long before it went to work in the morning as a pencil holder.There are also a large number of foreign restaurants here. It's always worth a trip here to get some non-Korean food. The English is not always the best, even though there are tons of foreigners there.You can also get anything custom made in Songtan for you. Almost anything that is. I got a leather jacket made for me. The only place in Korea that I could get clothes made for me, Songtan and Itaewon. It was a great deal. Check out the crazy lining that has this weird prisoner of war message thing. Click on the picture to get a close-up view to read it better.Here's the last picture I took in Songtan. I think it's beautiful. Why bother asking native English speakers how to translate something? Just do it and hope for the best. So, this is how they say "tow-away zone." There are literally thousands of these little bits of Engrish around. Come to Korea and see for yourself.

So Hard To Say Good-bye

2008-04-14T14:54:00.009+09:00

Saturday was my big going away party in Songtan. It was also MJ's (the owner of the Bellagio bar) birthday. This meant it was a two for one kind of party, which meant lots of people and lots of booze, and most importantly... lots of meat off of the base! I love these bbq's that they throw for people leaving. You can eat your weight in meat and then some. So, here are a few of the pics from the weekend's festivities. By the way, Jennifer was really sick and couldn't come. So, that's why you don't see her in any of the pictures. Toni is such a lady.
The party actually was spread over two nights. The first night it was really just Toni, Jude, and I having a more relaxed evening in Songtan. Here are some pics from that night. Here's Toni and MJ doing the heart shape that friends do and that couples do when dating here in Korea. It's so cute... kind of makes you want to throw up a little bit. By the way, MJ put a picture of me up behind the bar, so I'm going to forever be a part of the Bellagio.Here's a picture of MJ eating a chicken neck. Eating the neck is such a super Korean thing to do. Here is a picture of Jude and I giving the Korean equivalent of the middle finger. It's supposed to represent a penis inside a vagina... it does give a whole new meaning to the whole "I've got your nose" game that we play with little kids. This pose was to honor Toni.Toni and I have a love hate relationship I guess. Here is the love...And here is the hate.Remember Toni's birthday party? Remember how MJ covered Toni's face with chocolate frosting? Well, Toni hoped to do the same to MJ... but MJ had other things in mind. Oh well, I guess you just can't win.There were a lot of people who came out for the party. My friend Won, who lives in Itaewon in Seoul came to Songtan, a two hour trip by subway. Mattie (remember the famous "no hands" pool game?) showed up with his wife and stayed until the wee hours of the morning. Another Aussie friend, Marlina, who used to live in Anseong even made it. It was really great to see everyone before I left.Here is a pic of Jude and Mattie, both just starting to get a little drunk. There was an insane amount of alcohol flowing that night.Here's a picture of Jude with our friend Clara. Jude always gives the thumbs up in his pictures. Seriously, every single picture of him in Korea looks like this.Here's a picture of Sandra looking beautiful. I'm going to miss her so much. By the way, she can drink anyone under the table. You don't even want to try and challenge her.Here's a picture of Sandra taking a picture of me taking a picture of her. Also, you can see Toni hitting Mattie in the head with a rose. I don't quite remember who bought me a rose, but I had two of them.This is what happens when Toni plays bartender. This is the draft beer that she poured me. I look like I'm Gulliver!There were some people at the party whom I had just met a couple of times, but would have liked to get to know better. Here is a picture of Won and Charles, who teaches at a university in Seoul somewhere. He's a super nice guy. He bought everyone some shots. I really enjoyed talking to him.Here's a picture of Marlina's friend Jess from South Africa. This was only my second time meeting her, but really, she and I had a great time. Too bad I wasn't a bit more lucid about using my camera. But by the time we were at our third or fourth bar I was forgetting to take some pictures. I can't imagine why.In the end, we made our way back to the Bellagio, after visiting more bars than I can remember. There was still plenty of bbq left over, so we started eating again. Nothing better than a cold hamburger or sausage when you're a little bit tipsy.At the end of the evening, I think almost everyone ended up looking like this. Photographic proof of the drunken debauchery.

Punished

2008-04-14T08:58:00.001+09:00

Here is a great pic of lots of boys that got caught smoking in the school. They stood like this, hand-in-hand for over an hour while getting berated. It was pretty satisfying to watch. I love the ingenuity of punishments here in Korea!

A New Franchise Opportunity?

2008-04-14T08:39:00.006+09:00

I don't know. What do you think? Do you think this clothing store in Itaewon could be the next big fashion chain store in the U.S.? I think we're looking at the next "Macy's." Your eyes aren't playing tricks on you. The store is called "Make Yourself Fucking Lovely."
Also, while in Itaewon I took some pictures to remember everything. Here is a very famous picture that every foreigner knows. It's in the window of a photo studio. These photos of new babies are very common I guess. The thing that creeps everyone I know out about this photo is the middle-aged comb over that this baby is sporting as well as the medallion. It just screams middle-age baby. It's super creepy. I hope this guy doesn't have to walk by this photo every day and feel embarrassed.Also, in Itaewon I met up with my friend Won, remember, he drew the great anime style pic of me. We ate at a gamjatang restaurant. Gamjatang is my favorite food here. It's called potato soup, but really, it's pork backbone soup, with some potatoes thrown in. It's super spicy, and just really wonderful and flavorful. I really hope I can learn how to make this soup in the U.S.
Mmmmm.... lots of side dishes. Most of them are already gone, but you get the idea.
The aftermath of the feeding frenzy, a bowl full of back bones.

Ooh la la

2008-04-14T08:27:00.004+09:00

A few weeks ago I met some friends in Seoul. We had some lunch, and then they said "let's go to French town." French town? Here, in Seoul? Yup. How continental.Let's be more specific. When I say "town" what I mean is "street." And when I say "street" I really mean "2 blocks." So, French town is really just two blocks long on one street. The only thing really French about it are some French flags, a couple of signs in French, and a bakery. However, in the bakery there was a French family there buying baguettes. It was a bit weird, but interesting.

Tacos in Itaewon

2008-04-10T14:07:00.002+09:00

Yesterday was election day here in Korea, which meant that I, and most people, had the day off. This being my last day off really before heading home, I had to go and meet my boss from my side job (let's hear it for working illegally on the side!) and say goodbye. So, Jennifer and I went to Itaewon to meet her, and later to hook up with our friend Jude and to get some Mexican food (being from California, Jennifer is going through taco withdrawals).

Anyway, I met my boss, Erika (her English name) at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. It was a really great visit actually. I had my first bagel in over two years... it's been a very long time. Erika got me a couple of small gifts for a going away present. One of them is a beautiful white dojang (name stamp) that just says "Daniel" in Korean on it. It's really very nice. She also got me a keyring with a Korean design on it, also very nice, and something that I almost bought for myself before.

Anyway, we met up with Jude and went to this new Mexican place to check it out. It was super tiny, maybe 6 tables, and it was packed. So we went to another place, which wasn't open yet. Back we went to "Taco Amigo" and the owner saw us and came out. How to describe this man. His name is Wayne, and he's annoying beyond belief. He kept telling us about how great the food is (which all restaurant guys should be saying). He went on to tell us how horrible the other place is (the one that wasn't open yet) and that the Mexican national football team ate at his place when they were in town. He also went on to say that the place was so busy because a big Korean TV star was eating there. Yeah, I have no idea who it was, don't really know Korean TV stars, don't really care, barely care about US TV stars.

Anyway... Wayne just kept giving us the long sell about the food. It was completely overwhelming. We did eat there, and it was good. Even during our meal the guy was always in our face. We all wanted to say "we're eating your food already, stop the advertising!" The bad thing is that the food was really good, and Jennifer said she'd go back, but couldn't deal with the owner again. I wonder if he loses many sales that way? We need to find out if Wayne takes a certain day off... then we can plan other trips there on that day!

I'm Mean

2008-04-04T10:18:00.000+09:00

Well, my first class really ticked me off today. First of all, I wasn't supposed to have them but they changed the schedule at the last minute, which drives me crazy. I took a cell phone from one kid who wasn't supposed to have it. He lost it for one month, as per my co-teacher. My fault. Another kid was gleeking on his classmate. If you don't know, gleeking is shooting a thin line of saliva on your fried. It's nasty as hell. I kicked him out of my class. I'm in the office between classes and both of these kids are getting punished. It's shaping up to be one of those days. Looking forward to the end of the day. 10 more days of teaching to go.

Chalk

2008-03-19T12:43:00.002+09:00

Yesterday while teaching a second year class, I could not get one boy to quiet down. Well, the class in general wouldn't quiet down, but one boy in particular was being obnoxious and he knew it. After warning him several times I lost it. I screamed at him "SHUT UP" and threw my chalk at him. The look on his face was priceless. He was shocked beyond belief that I threw a piece of chalk at him. He was actually quiet, but just from shock. The class erupted in laughter.

Some of you might find this to be horrible. Just remember that I'm in Korea. I could have beat him with a bamboo stick, which would have been perfectly acceptable. So, I think throwing a piece of chalk at him was really nothing major. Really, I wanted to throw my mug of hot tea on him... but I exercised restraint.

Time Goes So Slowly

2008-03-14T08:33:00.003+09:00

Well, it's been a slow week here in Korea. Just another week of working and waiting for April to arrive. The weather has been nice and finally it looks like spring is here.

The students are getting into more and more trouble. Lots of kids have been punished in the teachers' office this week, lots of kids smoking and just being generally horrible. It's a real problem here. I know that this year is going to be very difficult on the teachers. I don't know if there are more students smoking this year, or if the new principal is just cracking down on the juvenile delinquent behavior. I suspect it has to do with the principal. Every morning there are teachers outside, keeping an eye on the students as they walk to school. I don't know how long this will keep going on, but it's amusing to watch at least. It's given me lots of punishment ideas.

My classes have been uneventful. The bad classes (the vocational classes mainly) continue to be as bad as ever. My goal is really just to play a lot of games with them until I get to leave. I'm mentally checked out... so don't judge me, I've already put up with these kids for 2 years. The "good" classes (the general education kids) are ok but nothing spectacular. My seniors this year are much worse in terms of English than the seniors from last year. I miss those kids for sure.

I came to school this morning, and my candy jar is open and empty on my desk. I'm not happy about this. I don't know if it's a teacher or a student, but it makes me angry that the candy that I buy with my own money has disappeared. I guess I will have to keep it locked up from now on.

I talked to a friend who is teaching English in Paris. She wants a job here in Korea. After sending a couple of e-mails, I got her a job... in less than 24 hours! I know, I'm good. I really hope she gets to Korea before I leave because I haven't seen her in more than 2 years. It would be nice if she could come to my going away party here.

That's all the daily happenings here in Korea. Gotta run. More students are in trouble and in need of some discipline.

Smoking In The Boy's Room

2008-03-07T13:05:00.002+09:00

I don't know what is going on here. It's only the first week of school. There have been so many kids getting in trouble this week for smoking. As I'm writing this, there are 7 freshmen boys standing in a line with their hands up above their heads. They were all carrying cigarettes and were all caught smoking in the bathrooms. They will have to wear the "sashes of shame." This is going to be a very very long year if they keep this up.

Sadness

2008-03-04T20:28:00.001+09:00

Today I mentioned on the way home that I missed the computer teacher Mr. Lee, who was by far my best English student ever. My co-teacher told me that Mr. Lee, who was about my age, died on February 14. Apparently he had a rupture in an artery. I am completely floored by this news. Mr. Lee was such a young and healthy guy, with a young daughter who is only two. It's really a tragedy and I will miss him.

Inked

2008-03-04T20:20:00.003+09:00

Over the weekend, well, on Friday, myself and three of my friends all got tattoos. We all got the same tattoo, with slight variations. Here are some pictures of the tattooing process.

Mr. Joo is the tattooist that we found in Songtan. He was highly recommended, and did some good work. He's a detail man and does some really fine work. In his office was a big polished wood penis. I don't know why exactly, but Koreans love penises.
The tattoo that we all got is the samjoko. If you want to know more about it, google it. It's a 3-legged crow from Korean mythology that lives in the center of the sun. It's a symbol of power. It is also a symbol of freedom and independence from the Japanese occupation before World War II. Incidentally, we all got the tattoo the day before Korean independence day... that was a coincidence.

A New School Year

2008-03-04T09:32:00.002+09:00

March 3rd marks the beginning of the new school year across all of Korea. It also marks just 7 weeks before I'm finished in Korea and get to go home. The first day in school involves an opening ceremony, where you are introduced to the students. It was nice. When I was introduced (I'm always last, in English because my last name begins with "Y" and in Korea because I'm different) the students clapped and yelled and said "cutie." It was a good feeling.

We have a new principal. I'm hoping that the new principal will end up resulting in better treatment for me during these next 7 weeks. I have no way to tell. I don't think anyone has an opinion yet of the new principal.

I have a new co-teacher also. I don't quite understand this one. I was told that because the freshman enrollment numbers were so low, that we'd be getting rid of an English teacher and a math teacher. Well, Ms. Park (my co-teacher who is very nice but super annoying) left, and Ms. Heung is here in her place, so I don't know what that accomplished. Ms. Heung seems to have a personality that isn't going to mesh so great with me, but I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Good news is that she spent time at the University of Michigan studying for a bit, probably as part of this study program they have here that lasts only 4-6 weeks. Her English is good enough. I feel bad for the woman though. She had me go to a class with her, and she tried (bless her heart) to teach the class as an "English-only" class. The poor woman had no idea that she was assigned to the worst school in the area. She has no idea what she's supposed to do with the kids. What a rude awakening.

Nothing else is going on in school. There is no real schedule yet, since they wait until the last minute to do anything, so as a result, I don't have a schedule for another week or so. I think I won't really have any classes to teach, which isn't really a problem for me.

Oh, a piece of news from my city. Apparently a foreign teacher was busted for selling drugs. I don't know anything else. Is it any wonder that I don't like to hang out with these people? I hope I find out who it was.

Countdown

2008-02-20T09:42:00.001+09:00

Today is February 20. In 2 months, on April 20, I will be flying home and leaving Korea for good. The countdown has begun.

So Damned Cute

2008-02-11T20:53:00.000+09:00

I'm super cute. Let's just admit it already. Have you ever seen anything so cute in your whole life?

Tragedy Hits Seoul

2008-02-11T13:25:00.000+09:00

South Korea's No. 1 national treasure Namdaemun break down as firefighters extinguish a fire in Seoul, South Korea, Monday, Feb. 11, 2008. About 80 firefighters were fighting to bring the blaze under control. The cause of the fire has yet to be determined. Namdaemun, literally 'the great southern gate,' was the southern gate of the original walls surrounding Seoul during the Joseon Dynasty.

As A Peacock

2008-02-11T13:04:00.000+09:00

Well, tomorrow is graduation. The seniors are walking around and they are just grinning from ear to ear. They are so proud. They're all coming up to me to let me know they're going to university. I have to say that I'm proud of them too. Not because they're graduating, I mean, you cannot fail school here if you try. You automatically pass. I guess I'm just proud that they made it through this school without becoming knife-wielding hooligans (well, most of them anyway). Ah, the endless cycle of life. The little birds have to fly the nest. Sunrise, sunset. Yadda yadda yadda.

So Much Blood

2008-02-10T10:47:00.002+09:00

Jennifer and I went to Yongsan in Seoul to go to the theater to see Sweeney Todd the day that it came out in Korea. We met my friend Won there. Jennifer is a real Johnny Dep fan. I'm a Sweeney Todd fan, it's one of my all time favorites. Well the movie was a lot of fun. The blood in it was really over the top. I loved watching the young Korean women acting like children and cowering and covering their eyes when anyone was killed. They put on such an act! There is definitely something lost in translation though. Only Jennifer and I were laughing during the funny bits, no one else.

Here are some pics from the day of hanging out in Yongsan waiting for the movie. This is a pic of me wearing Won's hat. It's way too small for my giant melon head. It made a good picture.

Here is a pic of Jennifer on the bus with her morning coffee. Love the hat. She's from California, and is CONSTANTLY complaining about the cold her. Damned California girls, can't take the cold.Here is one of those cute animal hats that they were selling at Yongsan station. They're so cute. You know they are. Just admit it, you want one.A little Engrish from an ice cream parlor.

The View From Above

2008-02-10T10:29:00.000+09:00

While on vacation the other week Jennifer and I went to Seoul and climbed mount Namsan and went up the Seoul Tower, Korea's answer to the space needle. It was really great. The truth is that I'm quite afraid of heights, but after getting up there, it was no big deal. I guess that since I've flown that heights aren't so bad for me anymore. Here are some nice photos of the trip.And outside, here are some strangely worded rest-area type restaurants. I love the way Koreans use English!

Lazy Guy

2008-02-07T10:52:00.001+09:00

I apologize. I've been a lazy lazy man lately. I know that I haven't made any entries in weeks. I have been meaning to add some new pictures and things, but I've been so lazy and just enjoying my vacation and doing nothing. I will update soon.

Fun Pics

2008-01-16T16:48:00.001+09:00

I haven't posted in quite a while. I've so gotten over blogging. But, people have encouraged me, so I keep at it. Here are some pics from past weeks ventures into Seoul and about. Hope you enjoy.

These pics are from a trip to Insadong, the traditional and artsy section of Seoul. It was nice to just walk around there. They have nothing that I could actually afford. The streets are lined with traditional tea shops, pottery shops, and artisan shops of all kinds. For some reason they had a display of Dalki, a Korean cartoon character. I didn't quite understand why, but I got my pic taken with Dalki anyway.

No matter where you go, you see some bad English. You don't have to look very far.On Friday, Toni came back from her long vacation in Australia. Jen and I met her in Songtan for some fun and drinking and such. Here are a few shots.

Korea's Answer To The MOMA

2008-01-16T16:07:00.000+09:00

Yesterday, Jennifer and I, both on vacation now, went to Seoul to go to the museum of contemporary art in Seoul. The museum is located in Seoul Grand Park, which is an enormous park surrounded by mountains and filled with trails and ponds and such. There was a zoo and a couple of Epcot like sphere buildings. It was interesting. Oh, it was also freezing. The middle of January is not the ideal time to walk around outside. The good news is that it was the least amount of Koreans that I've ever been around. It was really wonderful to walk around outside as we made our way to the museum. Jennifer was so excited to see a lake that was frozen over (those darned California girls). Here are some pics.I have no idea who these Korean guys are in the statues, but they were interesting. One of them appears to be lazy and is relaxing in his la-z-boy.Outside the museum was a sculpture park. There was a big brick phallus, a metal man whose mouth opened and closed and a speaker inside was singing. I also couldn't resist posing with some statues. Forgive my rudeness. Check out the decorative cabbage. A really popular winter gardening option here, but don't eat it!Unfortunately, you are not really allowed to use cameras inside. The museum was really wonderful. There was a big rotunda with a ramp going up the outsides to go up to the next level. In the center was a giant tower of televisions, all samsungs by the way, which was unfortunately under renovation. It looked like it'd have been a really interesting center to see if it were working.

Even in a nice museum, you are easily able to find some bad English. Take a look at the bathroom sign. The sign for the women's bathroom was the same.

At the cafe in the museum I attempted to make a bit of my own art. I don't think I can really pull it off. It was a great day though. So cold, but worth it.

Hibernation

2008-01-02T19:54:00.000+09:00

Well, I think my hibernation has been long enough. I don't want you all to think that something happened to me. Yes, I suffered really severe holiday depression, but that is finished. I spent Christmas eve and Christmas day in my apartment alone. That was all I could do, and it was what suited me best.

At school, we were all showing movies, mostly my movies that I brought in to use. So, the students were beyond bored, but that's expected when you have final exams a month before the end of school.

I have winter English camp starting this week. There are only 2 students that signed-up of their own free will. My co-teacher brow beat 9 more into signing-up for the camp. Why do they have these camps? The students don't want them. The teachers don't want them. There are no grades or credit given for them. What's the point? No one can really answer this to me. I mean, the kids don't learn anything from the beginning of the year to the end of the year, so why should 7 days of camp be any different? My co-teacher had a "meeting" with me to explain about camp. She explained that I should play games and sing songs and all that. I told her that it was so cute of her to think that anyone would show-up, so I gave her the real information about what happens at camp. She seemed down after I told her that the students would probably stop showing up after the first day.

Nothing else is really going on here. I spent some quality time with Victoria, Jennifer, and Sandra (crazy Aussie gal). Did some shopping in Songtan, got some nice presents for people. That's about it. My 6 days of vacation are now over, and I start camp tomorrow. 7 days of camp followed by 3 weeks of vacation. I will be so bored during vacation! I need to find something to do.

Catalyst

2007-12-23T00:43:00.000+09:00

This year the holiday season has hit me really hard. Last year I don't really remember it effecting me strongly at all. Well, I barely made it through Thanksgiving this year, and now Christmas is just a few days away. Something happened that started the downward desention into Christmas Depression '07.

Thursday night, while walking in downtown a group of high school boys, maybe 7 of them, started to yell at me. They shouted "pig." Then they shouted "fuck you." They followed me around the street yelling "pig, fuck you" and making pig noises. These were the first people in Korea that I have ever sworn at in Korean. I told them "fuck off, bastards" but it didn't really do anything. They followed me around doing this for a while.

I'm sorry to say that this middle school kind of behavior really got to me. I know it shouldn't have, but add that to the general feeling of malaise due to the holiday season, and it really has started my emotional tailspin. I can't wait for the holidays to be over with. I know I'll be fine, and that the day after Christmas I will be back to my normal self, but I hate these times when I'm less than myself.

Daniel's Big Night Out

2007-12-05T13:10:00.000+09:00

This last weekend was Toni's birthday. She and Sandra (the crazy Aussies) were up in Songtan for the weekend to see friends, drink, eat meat, and buy many things. Here are some pics of the weekend festivities.

The owner of the Bellagio bar, MJ, was having a barbeque for Toni's birthday. She forgot the beef at home, and put me in charge. I had to take a picture. The bar wasn't really opened yet, so I had no responsibilites.

Jennifer took the same position as well. It's a good photo op.Here is Toni wearing the coat that Victoria gave her. She loves it! It kept getting passed around to lots of people to try on. She called it her pimp coat, and kept telling people I was the number one bitch in her stable.Recouping after a night of drinking with a cup of tea, that I made from behind the bar. Notice the bracelet, it was my gift to her. By the way, she came up to get her hair done too. She goes to this Korean woman named Ms. Piggy (I don't know where they get these names) because she has 16 years of experience cutting non-Asian hair (there's a big difference). Well, Ms. Piggy uses about a whole can of hairspray and makes Toni look like an old lady here in Korea. Like a big football helmet. It doesn't move when Ms. Piggy is done with it.

Here is a picture of me making the tea behind the bar. The bar owner, MJ is molesting me. I feel so dirty.Jude and Jeff (MJ's boyfriend, and another birthday boy, it was a two-fer) doing some grilling up on the roof. Everyone looks good with the coat on.Sandra, she loves being loud and singing and dancing. Here she is with a very drunk retired military guy. She's so awesome.Jude ran out of the bar real quick to buy a birthday cake. He even spung for the fancy candles. Toni loved it, Jeff had to go home by this time (military guys have a 1a.m. curfew). MJ spreak chocolate icing on Toni's cheeks and licked it off. I don't know if that's a Korean thing or if MJ is just a crazy girl. Probably the latter.

Later, we were joined by three more of Toni's friends. They were great guys. We went to another bar called the Scorpion. Here are some random pics from that night. Also, we ran into drunk U.S. military guys wearing crazy winter hats. One had long blond hair attached to the hat. Enjoy the pictures!

Daniel: A Study

2007-12-05T12:25:00.001+09:00

Here is a sketch that a friend of mine made of me. It started life as a doodle, and then he made it into me. He's not too fond of it, but I adore it and think it captures my cherub-like personality.

Black Face?

2007-11-29T15:52:00.000+09:00

I have a very interesting question. There is currently a production of the musical "Hairspray" that is going on in Seoul right now. It's in Korean. I have two questions about this. First, the show is about a large girl. There really are no large girls in Korea, and if they find one, can she sing? So, who is playing the role of Tracy? The other question is this. The show is about race equality. Where do they find black people in Korea? And even if they find them, can they speak/sing in Korean? So that makes me wonder, does the show have Koreans in black face. I wonder so much about this right now. How do you perform a show about racial equality when there is only one race here?

Franchised

2007-11-28T10:21:00.000+09:00

Soda Star, my favorite coffee shop in the world has opened up another shop. This one is about 2 blocks away from the original. It's much bigger, and decorated like a drag queen or Liberace exploded all over the place. It's very nice thought, and I'm sure Mr. Soda Star will cover the expenses quite quickly. By the way, the prices are much higher than at the original Soda Star. I did go on the opening day, so I received a free Soda Star Cafe mug. I'm so excited by it.

Deliciousness Revealed

2007-11-28T10:16:00.000+09:00

Now, I've been in Korea for a year and a half. There are many street food vendors, and I haven't tried certain things. Usually, I make it a rule to stay away from squid and fish things, as well as anything that is simply scary looking.

The other week I tried a new food. It was amazing! They are called hoddeok. It is a stuffed pancake. It is stuffed with cinnamon, brown sugar, and sesame seeds. God, they're so good. Now I'm angry at myself for not trying them a year and a half ago. Here's a woman in Songtan making giant hoddeok. In Anseong they are smalled and are 3 for a dollar.

A Weekend In America

2007-11-28T09:51:00.000+09:00

This last weekend I went to Songtan, also called America Town or Little America. It's where the airbase is, as you should all know by now. I went with Victoria and Jennifer, and we met up with Jude and Toni. We had a great lunch and wonderful time hanging out. Here are some pics from the day.

Here is a picture of my friend Jude with a woman who hands out flyers to passersby. The flyers were for manicures or something. She decided to do something very "There's Something About Mary" to attract attention. I think it worked.

After meeting for lunch, the ladies went off to Miss Piggy's. She is a hairdresser with lots of experience working with white people's hair. She is where everyone goes to when they need a dye job or hair cut. While they were in the salon, Jude and I went with Dini and James to the market area of Songtan. I've never been to this Korean market section. Saturday is market day and it was very crowded. Being a large American it was a lot like going through an obstacle course. Here are some shots of the market.

While at the market I spotted something that I've never seen before. Everyone knows that Koreans eat dog meat. I don't judge this. It's cultural. These are people who have endured times of extreme hunger, so you can surely understand where eating dog must come from. Anyway, here is a pic of dog meat for sale. You can see that it's a front leg and shoulder from some unlucky hound.

Later, when the ladies were done with their hair, and looking HOT we went onto the base, thanks to Dini and James and ate at Chili's. Jennifer was totally freaked out. She's been in Korea for a month now and to step onto the base and into a Chili's that is exactly like those in America really threw her for a loop. There was even a while lady who worked there who opened the door for you! Toni's birthday is in a few weeks, so she was treated to a song from the waitstaff and a milk shake.

After dinner Jennifer left for Anseong. I decided to get a hotel room so I could continue the party with everyone else. We went to Bellagio, Toni and Jude's favorite bar in Songtan. By the way, Toni adores my beard. She kept petting it and scratching at it as if I were a dog. It was cute.

Rock and Roll

2007-11-28T09:46:00.000+09:00

This is a wildly popular song here in Korea. It drives me crazy. My favorite part is the Korean rapping (or, Krapping as I call it) in the middle. Enjoy and go insane with the catchy feel good sensations of the song.

Winter Arrives... Futility Abounds

2007-11-21T09:23:00.000+09:00

Today when I woke up I saw that it was the first snow of the year. Winter has officially arrived to Anseong. On the drive to school there were many accidents as people here simply don't know how to drive on snow or ice and there is no one spreading salt on the roads. Yet more compelling reasons not to drive in Korea.

It is final exam time for the seniors. They will finishe their exams on friday, November 23. They will then have about 6 weeks of school left before the end of the school year. What are you supposed to do with students who have already taken exams and gotten into college for 6 more weeks? If anyone has a good answer to that question, please let me know.

Futility reigns at Juksan Comprehensive High School. There is another poster of shame that has been hung up in the hallway. It looks as if that first poster of shame really worked wonders here. I don't know what this new student's sin is. If I find out I will let you know.

All of the teachers here are at their wit's end. They all want out of this school and they want out now. I don't blame them. It's the end of the school year and everyone is tired and ready for this year to be finished. Good news for me is that I have only three and a half months of actual teaching time left. After you factor in showing a movie at the end of the year, which is all you can do really, I will have about 3 or 2.5 months of teaching left. There is light at the end of this tunnel.

The other day Mr. Yoo said to me "how about staying in Korea for another year?" I told him very politely that there was no way I would stay another year. Everyone knows this is my last year. I'm coming into the home stretch now.

Pictures

2007-11-19T09:12:00.000+09:00

I know I've been lazy lately in my posting and in my picture taking. Here are some new pictures that I have take over the last month or so.

The art teacher had students painting a mural on one wall in our stairwell. It turned out so nice. I really like the painting. Here are some action pics from the painting session. I hope the other students don't destroy the mural too quickly.

While walking down the pedestrian central business section of Anseong, I passed a stairwell that had another mural painted on it. This one was scary! The weird thing is that the people mural doesn't really go with the sunflower mural up the other side of the stairwell. It's strange. While shopping in Songtan, I took a picture of some of the very strange animal hats that you can buy. I understand that they're very warm.
There are many tailors in Songtan. I will probably get a couple of suits made for myself there. Victoria thinks I should get this coat. It's a beautiful dress coat, but I don't think I can afford a $220 cashmere Sherlock Holmes coat.Also, while in Songtan I ran into my friend Marlina, who lives in Anseong. She tried on these obnoxiously large sunglasses. Sure, she looked like an ant, but they were cute. As always, the requisite peace sign for pictures in Korea.

Obscenity For Teens

2007-11-18T20:29:00.000+09:00

I was shopping in Comma, which Koreans pronounce as "coma." It is a store for teenage girls mainly. I go there to buy some stationary and the occasional school supply. It's a popular place for teenagers to gather and shop. Here are a couple of things that I found.

These are a meat flavored cracker. Proudly advertising it's high MSG content!

And here is Mr. P! He is a naked guy peeing into an ashtray. The bottom of the ashtray features a pool of urine. How amazing!

Consequences.

2007-11-17T18:02:00.002+09:00

So, after that big hullabaloo with the evil student who grabbed the teacher's throat, here is what came about.

The student received some kind of "community service." I'm not sure what this entails. All I know is that I've seen the boy doing some cleaning at the school. Is that his community service? I have no idea.

The most interesting part of his punishment comes in poster form. Outside the teachers' office there is a poster that has been hung up. It is all in Korean, of course, with a big signature seal at the bottom. I asked my co-teacher about this. She said it gives the name and class of that student as well as outlining what he did and what his punishment is. I asked her what was the purpose of this. The purpose is twofold, first, it serves as a way to inform the students and to give them a kind of cautionary tale. The second purpose is to shame the student. When I heard this I turned to Ms. Park and said "Oh, that's so adorable how the school thinks this is going to shame that student." She didn't quite get it so I repeated "It's cute how anyone can think you can shame a student at our school."

What's my point? This poster lets the other students know that you can get away with anything without receiving any kind of realy punishment. Secondly, you cannot shame someone that has no self-respect or respect for others. The students at my school simply cannot be shamed. It doesn't happen. I think it's just funny that they think this is going to accomplish anything.

Craziness Continues

2007-11-09T12:58:00.000+09:00

Well, yesterday there was another impromptu meeting. This one quickly dissolved into a yelling and screaming match. The vice principal got up and got his coat and left while the gym teacher, who is apparently the teachers' union representative, was talking. The lilliputian principal was screaming at the teachers. It was horrible.

Afterwards I talked to Ms. Kim the computer teacher. She is incredibly scared of being here now. The boy who grabbed the math teacher by the throat has apparently threatened other teachers. It's a very sad situation.

Today I talked to my co-teacher Ms. Park about it. She said this argument has brought up a lot of other grievences with the school. Apparently the boy is going to receive come community service. The principal and vice principal argue that by expelling the boy that he will certainly become a criminal. I know the kid. He probably already is. Ms. Park also said that by giving the boy community service and keeping him in the school that the rights of the teachers have lessened. It's a very slippery slope.

Not such a great time to be here at Juksan High School.

More Craziness

2007-11-08T08:12:00.000+09:00

Yesterday during the lunch break there was an impromptu teachers' meeting. I had no idea what was going on. This was not a normal kind of teachers' meeting. This meeting featured a lot of talking, a lot of debate, a lot of heated debate. The meeting dragged on into the first period after lunch, when everyone has class. It took the entire class period. There was a vote amongst the teachers, on pieces of paper, and collected and tallied. What the hell happened?

After talking to a few teachers I now have an idea of what happened. First of all, Koreans do not like you knowing what is going on, especially if it reflects badly upon them. Knowledge is power and they guard this knowledge quite severely. This is what happened. A boy grabbed a male teacher by the throat. First of all, I'm glad it was a male teacher. He could have really hurt a female teacher here. The teachers were voting on whether or not to expell the boy. The teachers overwhelmingly voted for expulsion. However, the principal and vice principal vetoed this vote. Ah, democracy in action!

So, after the meeting, and this morning it is obvious that many of the teachers are very angry and upset. I don't blame them. Mr. Yoo said that many of the teachers want to leave the school now. I wish I could.

If this kid tries anything with me I'm not going to stand for it. I went to school in Detroit, in the ghetto. Detroit is the murder capital of the U.S. I'll totally sit on the kid if he tries anything.

Not While I'm Around

2007-11-06T09:35:00.000+09:00

Thank God, this did not happen in my class.

Yesterday, the bell rang early, 10 minutes early. I knew it was too early, so I kept my class in their room while we finished watching "Transformers." The science teacher didn't look at the clock, he just left the room thinking class was over.

Well, next thing you know you can hear a blood curdling scream in the hall. I'm thinking that it sounds like someone is being murdered or something.

Later during my "teacher English conversation group," which is just me talking English while teachers try to understand, a teacher explains to me what happened. A freshman girl received a cell phone call. It made her mad. She screamed and punched out the window. The falling glass injured another girl who had to be taken to the hospital for stitches.

What in the world is going on? The bad thing is that no one will get to the bottom of this and find out what is wrong with this girl emotionally.

My school is not here to educate these kids. It's here to hold them, and try to keep them from killing each other until they graduate. It's like juvenile detention.

New Glasses And Beardgate

2007-11-04T11:31:00.000+09:00

Here are a couple of recent pictures of me. The second picture features my new glasses. I got them in Songtan (outside the air base) for only $60. What a bargain!

From The Mouths Of Babes

2007-11-01T16:08:00.000+09:00

Today in my last class, which started the year as a very good class and has now declined into a class with some major bad behavior kids in it, we were playing a reading game. The class for the most part was into the game. Anything that is a break is always welcomed. Well, one girl didn't want to play. She was sleeping. I woke her up, she started to whine and yell at me. I gave her the choice of playing or leaving. She tried to sleep again. Well, I wasn't having it. I took her by the arm and pulled her out of the classroom.

Well, one minute later the next girl to play was sleeping. I woke her up to play. She was getting up and whining at me and she said "f*ck you" to me in Korean. I'm no fool. So i grabbed her by the arm and threw her out of my class.

My co-teacher came to class late and when he came in, I went to the hallway and pointed "That girl won't listen to me and that one swore at me." He started to yell at the fowl mouthed girl. This girl is always a problem and always in trouble. She was sitting by my desk yesterday being punished by the art teacher (who sits next to me).

Anyway, class is over with and I'm so glad. I really resent when I am getting treated so badly by the students when I'm trying to give them candy and a good time.

New Foreigner

2007-10-31T16:11:00.000+09:00

There is a new foreign teacher at the middle school, which is just across the parking area from my school. She is from L.A. I met her at my demo lesson and have been doing my best to help her out and show her around. I've taken her around, gotten her a bus card, taken her to dinner, given her helpful websites and stuff. She's a very sassy kind of gal, which is exactly the kind of person I like to hang out with. She might be someone to draw me out of my self-imposed anti-foreigner isolation.

Crazed Koreans!

2007-10-31T16:01:00.000+09:00

My teachers are all in a tizzy! For two weeks they've been running around like chickens with their heads cut off. They are preparing for an inspection/audit from the province office. As a result they have completely ignored their classes for two weeks. I haven't seen some of my co-teachers for two weeks (they're supposed to be in every class I teach) as they have been busy making documents all pretty. It's crazy. They have prepared the largest pile of the most anal retentive binders of documents that I have ever seen! Everything has been gussied up and printed on the color laser printer for the inspectors. The students have spent at least an hour each day scrubbing up the school. Usually it is cleaned in 20 minutes by the students. The school was powerwashed, windows cleaned, floor scrubbed, everything. It's pretty crazy.

I think it's so crazy that they seem to care more about appearances than actual content. I guess this is the Korean way. I get so turned off by the blatant superficiality of everything here sometimes. Usually I dismiss it as something frivilous and ignorable. These two weeks have really kicked the superficiality into hyperdrive! I'm just tired of it. I can't wait until this evaluation is over with so they can go back to being normal.

I do have to say that many of the teachers do not like this kind of activity. They all realise that it's frivilous. They know that what they're teaching and the students should be the most important thing and not these damned documents. They are exhausted, staying up until midnight to three in the morning to work on documents. You can see it in everyone. They're all tense, stressed, and tired. I am very thankful that I don't have to do things like this. Maybe one day the schools will revolt and just hand the province their regular old documents and not these extra shiny and special pretty documents. Guerilla education!

Last One!

2007-10-31T15:54:00.000+09:00

Last Friday was a special day for me. The very last demo lesson that I will have to do in Korea. Thank God in Heaven! For a refresher, a demo lesson is a special fake "play" version of a class which is observed by other English teachers (Korean and navtive speakers) and someone from the province office. Anyway, the lesson was uneventful and boring as usual. Of course I taught the very best class I have in the school and we rehearsed the lesson before. Nothing is left to chance.

Anyway, after the lesson there is a feedback session with all of the people. First, my principal (the evil man) spoke for a very long time, in Korean. He talked for maybe 15 or 20 minutes. No one translated it. It is such a rude thing to sit through. Then everyone gave their impression of the lesson, in English. Of course everyone says the same things. The "compliment sandwich" approach, something nice, something negative, something nice.

Victoria was in my lesson. When the feedback session turned to her... she laid it all out. The emperor has no clothes! She said that it was obvious that I was a good teacher and that the students are very comfortable with me. You can't fake that. But then she mentioned the pink elephant in the room. She said that you can't learn anything from these lessons because everyone knows that they are staged and fake. She didn't say anything that everyone didn't know.

Anyway, no one really reacted to her truth telling. I didn't care either. Anyway, it's finished and I dont' have to do another one. Thank God it's all finished.

Missing In Action

2007-10-26T09:24:00.000+09:00

This has happened a couple times to me recently. I was thinking "Hey, I haven't seen Andrew lately." He's one of my favorite students. I asked about him, and he's dropped out. It's very sad to me. We've had many students drop out lately. In Korea they are allowed to drop out when they reach high school, when they are 17 years old. I just hope that they are not making a huge mistake. I don't know what life is like for a high school drop-out in Korea. I just don't know. It makes me sad when I realise that these kids are gone.

Crazy Aussies!

2007-10-21T17:56:00.000+09:00

I am good friends with a couple of Australians. Toni has been here for a few years. She had an opening at her school and managed to convince her best friend to come teach with her. The two of them together are lound and funny and just outrageous. They really are great fun. Unfortunately, they live down south, so we only see them maybe once a month when they come up to the Air Base are and get a hotel room and spend time hanging out, eating good food, and drinking. They are a lot of fun. So, this saturday I hung out with them for quite a while. Here is the end result.

These are some wonderful hats that they bought. It was a terribly cold day. The bunny was by far the best hat I've ever seen.

We found this crazy store that was going out of business. A clothing store. Everything in it was $1. The owner wasn't there, but he left his phone number, so we called him. He came by in 15 minutes. The store is absolutely crammed and piled with clothes of every kind. You really had to dig to find good stuff, but it was there. Sandra got a red suede jacket for $5. The owner kept singing a little song, the only words were "one dollar, one dollar, one dollar..." It was terribly repetitive. It was fun. Everyone got some great stuff. I think Victoria got 16 things. All I got were socks.

After the clothing shopping fest, we went to a bar to get out of the cold. We then went to a new German restaurant that is run by a German man and his Korean wife. It was a great time. After the restaurant it was off to the Bellagio bar where the girls enjoyed an endless supply of "dirty mothers" which is a cocktail made from kaluah, tequila, and milk. I had to leave early to get back to Anseong. Next time I'm going to get a hotel and stay with them, they're just too fun.

Here is a picture of Sandra, the birthday girl. She's been in Korea for about one month. Look how great my beard is coming in. This is after one month of growth.Here is Jude posing with Toni at the German restaurant.

Here is M.J., the owner of the Bellagio bar and the maker of the dirty mothers.

An Update

2007-10-21T17:38:00.000+09:00

Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. Not too much has been going on here in Korea. Everyday is the same thing really. School, which is always the same, home, dinner, school. On my weekends now I usually go to Songtan, where the U.S. Airbase is located. I have friends there and we eat some western food and hang out. So, here are some photos that I've taken over the last few weeks. I hope you enjoy.

A couple of weeks ago was the Anseong festival. My friend Jude came over to check it out. The festival was quite a dud. However, we went out that night. So here are some candid bar shots from Anseong. The one bar, Angler 9, has a central bar with a pyramid of beer. There is an ice trough around it and you just pull out the beer that you want and drink it. It's pretty nifty.

Thursday was my school's sports day. A whole day of sporting events for the kids. I was bored all day, but the kids had fun. Each class had a uniform shirt, which was kind of fun. Some of the more interesting things were an under-water breath holding competition that looked like Mr. Yoo was drowning the children!

Here is the gym teacher, fully in his element. Always with the track suit, sunglasses, and hat. He's a super nice guy.

This shirt on the front said "I'm a nice person." On the back it says "so what." The big letters in the middle spell "mwo" which means "what." I thought they were neat.

Foreigners

2007-10-11T14:03:00.000+09:00

I don't know what is going on with me lately. I cannot stand to hang out with the foreigners here in Korea. By foreigners I mean the other teachers from the U.S., Canada, Australia, etc. It is becoming a real problem I think.

Lately I've been feeling the need to edit my life a bit. I mean that I'm now pulling my close friends closer and cutting loose those people that do nothing for me emotionally and spiritually. I have to say that the vast majority of the foreign teachers here flal into the latter category.

About 90% of the foreigners here tend to be completely superfluous. They talk and talk and talk but they don't say anything. They are acquaintences. I find them to be really disengenuous. Also, in my city they are very much like high school students. They talk about everyone behind their back and are constantly backstabbing. So, in order to save my own sanity I simply don't hang out with them. I won't do it. When I have to spend any time with them I get very stressed out. I'm sure they're nice people, but they are toxic to my wellbeing.

Anyway, my friend Jude experienced this first hand over the weekend. He was in Anseong for the Baudeogi Festival. He wanted to go to the bar where the foreigners go, Ouzo. I took him. The next table had a couple of foreigners and some Koreans all talking. Talking about nothing, but talking non-stop. After only 30 minutes of this Jude looked at me and said "get me the hell out of here!" He'd had enough. Needless to say, I will never go to this bar again.

I'm officially done with these foreigners. Keeping these "friendships" are draining emotionally and leave me feeling more lonely than if I were to just stay by myself. So I choose to keep in touch with the handful of foreigners who actually speak and have things to say. They contribute to my wellbeing. That's my life here as of late.

Breaking News: BEARDGATE '07

2007-10-08T21:04:00.000+09:00

Today in my 2-3 class several students reacting interestingly to my beard. They had to touch it. So, like I was a dog, several students touched my beard and recoiled in disgust.

Beardgate. All the beard news that's fit to print.

A Chair Like No Other

2007-10-01T21:58:00.001+09:00

I hate this story. Victoria loves it. She makes me tell it to every new person we meet. It's super embarassing for me, but if I can't laugh at myself then who can I laugh at?

Let's go back a year and a half ago. It was my first day at school in Korea. I go in, sit at my desk. The teachers start saying to me "Oh, your chair is too small." I tell them "No, it's fine." They keep reiterating that it's too small for me. I keep insisting that it's fine. I don't want them to do anything weird. It's fine. It's fine. Anyway, I left to go to my first class (which I wasn't really supposed to have but whatever). When I come back to my desk I'm in shock.

Ok, have you ever watched a talk show like Oprah or something and they have on the super obese people that weigh 900 pounds and Richard Simmons comes on the show? Well, on these episodes you look at the set and you say to yourself, "Self, the normal chair is gone. They've replaced the guest's chair with a bench for this large person." Well, my school did this to me, to an extent.

I came back into the office to my desk and this is what I found. Not a chair. Not a bench. It is the front bucket seat out of some automobile put on a metal rolling rack. Holy embarassed. There is no hiding the fact that it's a car seat. It has the map pocket in the back. It made me feel so incredibly ashamed.

This makes me ask a few questions. Where did they find this chair? It's not something they just rushed out to get when I got there. It must have been sitting around somewhere. Did they take it from a teacher's car? I don't know. Anyway, it's my cross to bear. Here are pics of my office "chair." Victoria loves this... I hate it. Oh, I don't hate the "chair" anymore, because there is back support and a head rest, so when I'm tired I can just put my head back. So that's the bonus. Here it is. My shame.

Update: BEARDGATE '07: Week 1

2007-10-01T21:53:00.000+09:00

Here I am after a week of not shaving. Notice the satisfied look on my face as I stick it to the man, the man being my school that is poopy to me.

All Is Fair In Love And War

2007-09-29T18:48:00.000+09:00

After having nearly a week off for Korean Thanksgiving (Chuseok) I was left with a quandry. I hadn't shaved in a week, and I kind of liked the scruffy look. I knew my school would hate it. On days when I had gone to school after not shaving I would hear from the other teachers "Oh, you didn't shave today. Why didn't you shave today? I think you should shave." Well, this left me with an idea. Beard warfare.

So, I went to school with facial hair and they hate it.... so I love it. The students like it. The teachers don't. My co-teacher while driving me home friday said "Please shave." I said no. Then he said "some people look dirty with a beard." I said "but I'm clean." I think that if anyone says anything else my response is going to be "Jesus had a beard." I mean, how do you come back from that? You pretty much can't.

Am I being petty? No. Far from it. This is passive resistance. Didn't Gahndi preach that? I am like a modern Gahndi... but in Korea... and not really fighting injustice. But, it's nice to needle my school with something that they can't really change. I can't wait until my demo lesson approaches at the end of October. I'm sure they will "suggest" that I shave. It ain't gonna happen.

I'm a rebel with absolutely no cause.

Happy Birthday To Me

2007-09-21T08:08:00.000+09:00

Monday was my birthday. Now, I turned 30... but that's in Korean age. Everywhere else in the world I'm considered to be 29 years old. I'll cross that 30 bridge next year. To celebrate my birthday Victoria invited me over to her place for dinner. Now, she was in the hospital last week for chest pains, and had an angioplasty, so for her to do anything was just beyond amazing. She was feeling very good though. So, for dinner she mad spring rolls, salad (one without tomatoes for me, she knows me so well), bagette with black olive spread from her recent trip to Italy, spaghetti with shrimp (she thought they were real shrimp when she bought it, but they were in fact made from flour, they're good though). For dessert she bought a cheese cake. It was just so great of her to do this for me. I've been feeling so burned out and anti-social lately, so this was more appreciated than you can imagine. She also got me a couple of small things. Here are the highlights.

Punishment?

2007-09-17T16:22:00.000+09:00

There are several students being "punished" right now. They are squatting in the office, waiting to talk to their teacher that is punishing them. However, they still have their cell phones and are just text messaging. Is that really a punishment? We have kids frequently who are in a kind of "in school suspension" where their desks are in the hall outside of the teacher's office. However, the kids have their phones and mp3 players, and are usually just sleeping all day. How is this a type of punishment? I don't get it. Doesn't seem to teach anything to me. Doesn't seem to make them behave any better. Doesn't stop anything.

Careers

2007-09-15T11:25:00.001+09:00

I took an online career planner survey thing. After answering the questions it suggests careers that are best suited to your skills and personality and such. Here are the results. I hate the first suggestion. I like number 24. What do you think?

1.
ESL Teacher

2.
Foreign Language Instructor

3.
Special Effects Technician

4.
Actor

5.
Corporate Trainer

6.
Computer Trainer

7.
Director of Photography

8.
Driving Instructor

9.
Director

10.
Professor

11.
Set Designer

12.
Costume Designer

13.
Producer

14.
Casting Director

15.
Musician

16.
Comedian

17.
Composer

18.
Occupational Therapist

19.
Arts Administrator

20.
Makeup Artist

21.
Magician

22.
Foreign Service Officer

23.
Economic Development Officer

24.
Taxidermist

25.
Customer Service Representative

26.
Association Manager

27.
Industrial Designer

28.
Industrial-Organizational Psychologist

29.
Technical Writer

30.
Recreation Director

31.
Interior Designer

32.
Home Inspector

33.
Exhibit Designer

34.
Desktop Publisher

35.
Editor

36.
Librarian

37.
Human Resources Specialist

38.
Wedding Planner

39.
Office Machine Repairer

40.
Potter

Sick Student

2007-09-12T10:57:00.000+09:00

Whenever a student is tired, they say "I'm sick." This is how they let get the teacher to let them sleep at their desk with their head down. It's pretty annoying. Well, this morning a girl told me she was sick. My answer was "so am I." She said she had a cold. I said "so do I." This didn't make her happy. So, she put her head down. Fine, I don't really feel like arguing this point anymore. I mean, the kids that want to sleep during class, it's better if they're asleep, then they're not disrupting class. Well, next thing I know she has her mp3 player headphones on. I Make her take them off... she's sick. A few minutes later she was talking to her classmate next to her. I yelled at her and told her to stop talking to people... she's sick. Basically I took away all the fun from being "sick." I didn't let her listen to music, talk to people, play with the girl's hair in front of her. She had to sit at her desk with her head down. It was pretty awesome. Next time a student plays this "I'm sick" game with me, I might just move their desk to the front of the classroom... because they're sick.

Made In Korea

2007-09-09T13:46:00.000+09:00

I'm going to start buying some nicer things from Korea for my home when I move back to the U.S. The plan is to buy one thing per month and have it shipped home. This is the first thing that I bought. It is a traditional paper craft here. The figures are 3 traditional dancers. It's very 3-dimensional.

Chiro And Crafts

2007-09-09T13:39:00.000+09:00

Yesterday I made a trip to Songtan to visit a chiropractor, which is a very rare find in Korea. I find it odd that they embrace all kinds of alternative medicine here but not chiropractic. Anyway, it turns out that the chiropractor is from Farmington, Michigan. A local boy! He adjusted me and eleviated my major sciatica pain, which is really bad lately due to some elevated stress levels in my life. I will visit him three times a week for a while. It's good to know that I can get a native English speaker to help me out.

After the adjustment, I met with Jude, who lives in Songtan. We went to a nice little Italian restaurant. Now, Italian food here in Korea is generally speaking quite bad. As a rule the sauce is incredibly runny and watery. Many times I eat the pasta and just think "If you left this on the stove for 2 more minutes, it wouldn't be half bad."

After eating we discovered that the restaurant had a section of paint-it-yourself cups. Feeling rather capricious, we both took some time to decorate cups. We will get them back in a week or so after they are glazed and fired. It was actually a really nice way to spend an afternoon. Here are some pics of my cup. I'll post the after shots when I get it back.

Gifts

2007-09-05T15:53:00.000+09:00

My last class was meeting for an extra English class. So, with this being their second English class of the day, they really didn't want to do anything. I had them play pictionary for candy. When I was passing out the candy to the winning team, one of them said they were tired of candy, and how about chocolate next time? I said "how about nothing next time." Never look a gift horse in the mouth. I can't believe complaining about free candy. Crazy kids.

Tourguide

2007-09-04T09:18:00.000+09:00

Last night I met a new teacher here in town. She just arrived in Korea on Friday. Victoria and I took her to dinner and for a coffee at Soda Star. We also took her to the market and showed her arround for a bit. It was refreshing to show someone around. I showed her the good things here, which is helping to change my negativity around a bit. She seems like a very nice woman.

Nice Teachers

2007-09-04T09:15:00.000+09:00

Yesterday was my first day back since having my nervous breakdown here at work. It went surprisingly well. I'm very certain that the teachers understand how bad it's been for me and how frustrated and upset I've been. One teacher gave me a bag of candy. Another gave me a piece of candy. Best of all, no one has bothered me with paperwork about the pay change or anything. I think they must understand that my sanity is hanging on by a thread. I should have breakdowns more often. They're very cleansing.

Pink Eye

2007-09-04T09:12:00.000+09:00

I don't understand this but it's pink eye season in Korea. How does pink eye have a season? I understand seasonal things like allergies since mold and pollen and things follow seasonal levels, but pink eye? I just don't get it. Anyway, my kids have fallen like flies to this itchy puffy fate. In my first class this week there were only 7 students that showed up. That's 7 out of 36. That was the most dramatic reduction, but all the classes are missing at least 10 students. The crazy thing is that the Korean teachers told me that many of the kids want to get pink eye, so they purposefully itch their sick friends' eyes and then try to infect themselves. It apparently works. So far this week it has been pointless for me to be here. Out of 4 classes we only did work with one of them. The rest were just given some free time since it is pointless to press on when you will have to repeat it in a few days. I reminded my kids to wash their hands frequently with hot water and soap. I'm not going to let anyone touch me.

Survival Strategy

2007-09-02T09:24:00.000+09:00

Well, after all the stress of Thursday, I did not go to school on Friday. I'm still not 100% sure what I'm going to do about my school. I'm going to try and stick it out as long as possible. How will I survive? That's going to involve me listening to my mp3 player a lot at work, since headphones are the universal "leave me alone" symbol. Other than that, I need my school to understand how frustrated and really hurt I am. Unfortunately, I do not want to discuss these things with my school. I don't need to hear another empty "I'm sorry." They're not sorry. They're sorry that everything didn't work out to their advantage.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now?

2007-08-30T13:16:00.000+09:00

I'm seriously thinking of leaving Korea this weekend or next week. I just don't think I can take it anymore. I can't do this anymore.

And The Shit Goes On

2007-08-30T10:54:00.001+09:00

Update to the daily drama of my pay. Now my school is denying my previous work experience (remember that from the winter?) and they will drop my pay level. So, with the drop in pay level and the bonus rural pay, I will stay the same. I'm so beyond tired of battling my school for what they owe me. I'm done. I cannot put up with anymore. I can't do it. I can't come to work everyday and worry about the new ways that the school is trying to stick it to me, or the new ways that they are going to torture me mentally all day and night. I can't do it. If I had the money I would do a dash and leave this country this weekend without giving notice at my school. Any recent lottery winners want to make this dream a reality for me? I despise my school for what they have done and are continuing to do to me. I can't fight anymore. It's literally killing me on the inside. I'm done. They win.

Resolution

2007-08-30T10:18:00.000+09:00

I do not know what changed between last night and this morning. My school has now told me that they will pay me the back pay and that I will be albe to stay in my current apartment. I'm thinking that this may change at any minute, but as of now, this is what is going on. Why must my school stress me out like this periodically? I don't know. But I'm happy for the resolution right now without getting the province office involved and without a shouting match.

Underhanded Dealings

2007-08-29T18:32:00.000+09:00

Well, my school has just infromed me that they do not have the budget to pay me the roughly $1700 in back pay that they owe me. I have this choice. I can either get this pay, or lose my big apartment for a smaller and cheaper apartment. I'm waiting to hear back from the province office about this issue. I'm hoping that my school cannot really do this to me. If push comes to shove, I will stay in my apartment. The school will still have to pay me the extra money from now until the end of my contract. I will definitely let the school know exactly what I think about this situation and how they're treating me. I really don't care what bridges I burn. I know that my last 7.5 months here will be difficult, so what does it matter if they're even more difficult? I hate this so much. Why must my school do this to me at every single turn?

Money Wars

2007-08-29T15:02:00.000+09:00

When it comes to money, my school is not going to give me a single penny without some kind of battle. I was informed today that the school does not have it in it's budget to pay me the retroactive rural pay now. I was told that they would pay me next year. Now, I don't really have a problem with this. The money is just going to sit in my bank until I leave Korea. I just don't know if they are trying to pull a fast one on me. To trust or not to trust. That is the question.

A New Class

2007-08-29T10:47:00.000+09:00

I was informed the other day that a few of the teachers want to form a teachers only English class for me to teach. So far, I know that at least 4 teachers want to take English from me. 2 of them are very good, 2 are not so good. I have to say that I'm pretty excited about this. I think that this class might be just the thing to make my last 8 months here fly by. Since my students simply do not learn no matter how much effort I put into my classes, maybe the adults will give me that kind of satisfaction that is so lacking in my teaching life. I'm hoping that once this class forms and starts, that their desire to learn English actually translates into being good students. I know some teachers at other schools that have the problem that the principal forces the teachers to take these extra classes, and the teachers are just too busy and don't want to study. I'm hoping that my class will remain completely voluntary. I think it will. Oh God, I hope the principal doesn't decide to join!

Reading is Fundamental

2007-08-27T15:45:00.000+09:00

On friday, I had an epiphany. I realised a while ago, while playing English word bingo with my students, that the vast majority of them cannot read English. Wow. That is so dismaying. How are they supposed to learn to run when they haven't learned how to crawl? If I dwell too much on how the system here does not allow a student who has fallen behind to get some extra help... I may just lose it. I know that students in the U.S. also don't necessarily get the help that they need, but it is, in theory, available to them.

Anyway, knowing how poorly my students can read English, I devised a game that is not based on comprehension, but exclusively on reading. I printed out basic words, from things we've studied this year so far. These included the days of the week, months, clothes, and school subjects. I put the words on the blackboard with magnets, randomly. Then the class is divided into two teams. The students come up 2 at a time, one from each team. I say a word off of the board and they run up to grab the word, and win a point for their teams. It actually went over very well. The kids enjoyed themselves, and I felt like it was a game that I can use many times and it will help them with their reading abilities. It's hard to stay motivated and creative when you're surrounded by such dispair (on the part of my students that is) but I do my best. I would like to get my students to dream again and hope for something in life, but that might be a bit unrealistic. Anyway, I do my best.

Nickeled and Dimed

2007-08-24T11:32:00.001+09:00

It's no secret to anyone who has talked to me or read my blog that my school is slightly less than forthcoming when it comes to matters of money. If being stingy and shady was an olympic event, they'd at least place in the top 3. I have decided that if they wish to nickel and dime me, that is ok. But, they can expect to be nickeled and dimed right back.

One strange thing in the pay scale for foreign teachers is that if you teach in what is considered to be a "rural" area, you get paid an extra $100 per month, and you get an extra week of vacation time. When I received my very first pay, over a year ago I asked about this and was told that Juksan isn't the country. Over the last year I've asked other teachers in other schools, and the concensus is that almost everyone in Anseong gets this bonus pay. Hell, teachers living in and working in the city of Anseong get this pay, but I didn't qualify when I teach in a village?

Since I'm leaving at the end of April (YEAH) I definitely need all the money I can get. In this mindset I contacted people at the province office. They explained to me that just because my school was in the country didn't qualify it for this rural pay bonus. The bonus actually has to do with what zone the school is in within the city (I know, it makes no sense). Korean teachers that work in these "rural" schools also get bonus points so that they can go work in the better city schools... kind of like a get out of jail free card.

I asked the art teacher if she gets points for working here. She does. I knew it! So, after a short e-mail to the province liason and a quick phone call confirming it, I am going to get this extra pay. The best part is that it is retroactive. Hey, at the end of the year that extra $2600 will be very useful. I should get the retroactive $1700 in my next paycheck. I'm pretty happy. My school now knows that I'm playing hard ball. I'm not some pushover, and I'm gonna get everything that I'm entitled to get.

Corn

2007-08-23T16:35:00.000+09:00

Here is something that I've never seen in the U.S.A. In my last class today 5 boys had little ears of corn that were black, like Indian corn. They were pulling off kernels and throwing them at eachother. I kept collecting the corn kernels and throwing them out, but they'd just keep finding more corn to throw. I have to admit, although it was so incredibly annoying, it was really funny to see. Why corn? It's such a strange thing to throw at someone. It's never a dull moment here at Juksan Comprehensive High School.

First Day Back

2007-08-20T15:25:00.000+09:00

Well, it's the first day back to school. First day of the second semester. Man, the students don't want to be here! They were absolutely horrible today, as is to be expected. I like to make it known though that I realy like my students. They are really good kids. They are horrible students, but they are good kids. I much prefer them outside of class. I try my best to form my opinions of them based only on their behavior outside of class.

It was very nice to come back to school today. It was nice to sit at my desk and to see all of the teachers. They were happy to see me, and many of them gave me a "long time no see" kind of greeting. So, that was nice. All of the problems, and there are many, that I have with my school do not involve the other teachers. All of the teachers here are great, and they really are nice people. It's too bad that all the other things at this school have to overshadow the decency of the teachers.

I was just informed that I have to write a "report" for my summer vacation. Mr. Yoo had me sign a paper that indicated my vacation days. Well, he didn't inform me that on this form it said I was doing research on Korean culture. This is paperwork that everyone has to do inorder to receive their vacation time. What is wrong with Korea? Can't we just have vacation time? The crazy thing is that this is not a real assignment. I just need to put something together, that's it. No one will ever read it, since it's in English. There is no length requirement. It's just busy work. Koreans love beaurocracy.

Welcome Back Kotter

2007-08-19T08:27:00.000+09:00

Here I am, back in Korea. The first indicator that I was in Korea came in the men's room in the Incheon International Airport, when I heard someone hock up some phlegm and spit. Yup, that indicated to me that I was indeed back in Korea.

When I finally got back to my apartment, the power was not on. My landlord had shut off my power while I was away. I did not ask him to do this. As a result I found a freezer full of rancid rotten food that had been fermenting for 3 weeks. This was the perfect way to be welcomed back to a country that I do not want to be in.

The one thing that I did enjoy was seeing Victoria again yesterday and hearing about her trip to Italy, which was amazing and really energized her. My vacation made me realise how little I want to be here in Korea, hers made her happy to be back home in Korea and recharged her soul. That is the difference between her and I.

Shave And A Haircut

2007-07-23T16:21:00.000+09:00

Brandon emailed me early last week. He told me that he'd cut his hair, and really messed it up. He wanted me to fix it, since I cut my own hair here. No problem.

Brandon finally came over on Friday. When he bent down to take off his shoes at the door, I was shocked. He had cut his hair down to the skin at the crown of his head. The back of his head had straight lines across it that were also down to the skin. It looked like terraced mountain rice paddies on his head!

Brandon explained to me that he was indeed drunk when he had decided to cut his hair. I have never been so drunk that I would have for one millisecond entertained the idea that I would cut my own hair. That is a process that you want to be sober for.

Anyway, I did my best to fix Brandon's hair. Basically all I could do was even it out, but he was still bald in key places. I told him to get a yarmulkah and wear that for a week. The really bad thing is that he has a female guest coming to visit him on monday. I told him several stories that he could tell her about the hair. How about "I lost a bet." I think "I got it cut at the beauty college" is always a safe option. I hope the hair won't keep him from having a nice visit with his friend.

I Spoke Too Soon

2007-07-19T16:21:00.000+09:00

I spoke too soon. Today I had 3 students show-up for English camp. It's funny. I was sitting at my desk in the office. Camp runs from 2-4. A student came up to me at 2:15. "Teacher, we have class now." I thought to myself, "we had class yesterday too... but where were you?" Oh well. I'm just showing "The Incredibles" and talking about superheroes and the video. It's nothing too exciting. I'm just doing my best to make it until tuesday and make it to the airport on time. All of these things are aggrevating my stomach lately. I need my vacation ASAP.

No Worries

2007-07-18T16:31:00.000+09:00

Well, it's the first day of English summer camp. I'm sitting here with all of my copies made and packets assembled, just waiting for the students to arrive. Fast forward 3 hours, no students. This is the reality of my school. None of the 14 kids signed-up for summer camp bothered to come to camp today. This really is not a problem for me. It makes perfect sense though. They only get a month for vacation, and most of that time will actually be spent in school anyway (I don't know why they call it vacation). They also get no credit or recognition for coming to this voluntary camp. Is it any wonder that they don't want to be here? I don't think so. I certainly wouldn't be here if I didn't have to be. Once again, the underachieving students at Juksan Comprehensive High School have not disappointed me. On the bright side, this means that next week I won't have to worry about being rushed to get to the airport in time. I can take my time now.

English English Everywhere...

2007-07-18T11:07:00.000+09:00

Yesterday was a holiday here in Korea. It was constitution day. I spent the day in Seoul, trapsing through Itaewon and Yongsan. Now, while perusing the giant electronics mall in Yongsan, which has over 2000 stores in about 6 different buildings... I came across a book section. There it was. "English for Dogs." It featured such great English phrases as "I think you stepped in your own poo" and the ever popular "you smell like rotten fish." What an amazing little book for the young English learner. Not to have cat lovers left out, there is also "English for Cats." Finally, Koreans can talk to their cats and dogs in English and be hilarious all at the same time.

Permanents

2007-07-16T08:10:00.000+09:00

I feel like I've been in Korea long enough that I can say some things with certainty. Here is one of those things. Koreans should not do unnatural things to their hair, because it looks ridiculous. A student just walked into the office. A male student. He just permed his hair. He looks like an Asian little orphan Annie. I actually couldn't help but to laugh out loud when I saw it (bad Daniel, bad). By the way, perms here are not usually curly perms. They are some strange Korean type of perm where the hair just gets very big and angry.

When I take the bus home to Anseong, one of the stops is at a local technical college. The boys that get on the bus there have the most ridiculous hair I've ever seen. They have the largest and most out of control mullets and they have their hair bleached and dyed and generally looking very Bozo-ish. I simply don't understand how they think this is better than their normal hair.

If you ask Koreans about this, they will all give you the same answer. They will say that these kids haven't been in the military yet. Basically, when they come out of their compulsory military career they will stop being so foolish with their hair.

Maybe it's a foolish thing to me, but what makes it most entertaining is how incredibly serious everyone is here about their appearance. So, these people think that their hair looks incredible and that they are definitely the hight of coolness and fashion. It's their seriousness that makes it all extra comical. Oh, to be young and foolish again.

Engrish Fashion

2007-07-16T08:08:00.000+09:00

This weekend I've seen two great Engrish t-shirts while walking around Korea. First, the new assistant at the Soda Star coffee shop that I go to. He was wearing a t-shirt that was printed to look like prison issue. It had a name tag printed on it that said "Martha's Bitch." I almost died laughing. I wasn't bold enough to ask for a picture, which I'm sure he would have been happy to pose for. Yesterday while walking around Insadong, I saw someone with a shirt that said "I'm too busy to fcuk." Wow. There are no words for the joys of Engrish.

My Bad

2007-07-13T16:29:00.000+09:00

I just want to appologize for not having anything new or exciting to write about. All I'm doing now is trying to last until I get on the plane for the U.S. My school is not making this an easy time for me, and I'm in desparate need of vacation. I'm down to 12 days and counting. If anything exciting happens, I will definitely blog about it.

Busy In Class

2007-07-09T14:11:00.001+09:00

I don't understand the reasoning behind this, but after my students finished their final exams, they had 11 days of school left. I dont' know exactly what you're supposed to do with these 11 days. There is no point in teaching because the brains have long ago checked out for the semester. So, to pass the time I'm showing a bootleg copy of "Shrek 3."

Every classroom has a big screen tv that you can hook-up to your computer. Well, half of them don't really work so well. I'm in class now and the cable that connects to the computer is broken. So, a student has hooked-up his personal movie player (looks like a PSP) to the television, and they're now watching a Japanese horror movie. What does this have to do with English? Nothing. Does it matter? Not really. They're happy and that's all that matters.

Preparations And Stress

2007-07-09T10:14:00.000+09:00

As I'm approaching my vacation and my visit home, I am becoming a very busy guy and a very stressed out guy in addition.

The stress is all thanks to my school. The financial issues with my school and the lies taht they are telling me about funding are things that are very destressing to me. I would much rather be told that my school is asking me not to spend any money on camp. There is no harm that comes from telling the truth. Honesty is the best policy. However, in Korea it is not so. Controlling access to information is the best policy here. I'm doing my best not to let this affect me too much. Also trying hard not to take out my frustration on my students, their lives are hard enough.

In addition to my usual activities such as Korean class and school work, I am trying to get ready for my trip. I've been organizing and printing up photos from the year into a photo album to show everyone. That has proven to be a very time consuming activity, but I know it will be worth it. I'm also busy shopping for gifts for family and friends back home. It's a lot of work.

I did have some time to meet with friends and just relax. Over the weekend I got a chance to meet up with my friend Jude in Songtan for some more shopping and dinner. I also got to meet up with a new friend from South Africa who had been emailing me for a few months with questions about coming to Korea. He just arrived on wednesday and wanted some curry, so I directed him to a nice Indian restaurant in Songtan. So, it's not all work.

Anyway, this is all that is going on in my life now. Stress, work, preparations, and more stress. I can't wait for my vacation. I just hope I will have a little time to relax.

Funding

2007-07-05T08:13:00.000+09:00

I was told yesterday that I would be teaching summer English camp. Not a big deal. Last year the students stopped coming after the first day. I asked about the budget for camp. Victoria is getting $1000 for her week long camp. My friend Brandon is getting $6000. My budget it $0. Yup, I can't spend a single won on my class. That really speaks volumes to me about how my school values it's English program. My friends have bottomless pits of funding for their program and I get lectured to if I want to order a ream of card stock. Thank God I'm leaving after this year.

The "C" Word

2007-06-29T09:13:00.000+09:00

The art teacher, who sits next to me, is having computer problems. I asked her what is wrong. Her computer is very old. She said that the computer is "crazy." I said, "No, it's old, not crazy. Our students are crazy." She looked at me very seriously and said "Daniel, I like my students."

I don't know why this is, but Koreans think that the word "crazy" is really a very serious word, and they find it very offensive. I wonder what their textbooks teach them about this word. They need to loosten up and understand that we say "crazy" all the time and that we really don't mean insane.

It's All About The Fine Print

2007-06-27T11:56:00.000+09:00

The "by-the-book" people at the province office are at it again. Yesterday my substitute co-teacher wanted to talk to me about reimbursing me for the plane ticket that I bought to go home. He said they would only pay 75% of the price, as per the province office. Oh, no no no no no. I reached over, got my contract out and pointed it out to him. The contract says nothing about any percentage. It says "free ticket." So, disheartened, the school is going to have to pay the full price for the ticket.

Today Mr. Yoo, my main co-teacher is telling me that the province office claims my vacation is too long and they are going to dock my pay. First, they are counting the day I leave, July 24, as a vacation day. My flight is at 8:50pm. I will be at school all day that day. So, they can just bite me. After understanding that, Mr. Yoo came back after talking to the province office to say that I'd still be getting back one day late. Out comes the contract again. I got 2 calendar weeks to visit home when I renewed my contract. No one is disputing that. However, on top of that 2 weeks, I also get my normal 14 work-day vacation for the year. That works out to 7 work-days in the summer, 7 in the winter. The contract clearly says that these 14 vacation days do not include saturdays and sundays, they are work-days only.

So, I'm taking my 2 week vacation, plus I'm taking 5 of my 7 days to visit the U.S. This gives me a grand total of 3 calendar weeks, which is how long I will be in the U.S. I still have 2 extra vacation days at my disposal. I need Mr. Yoo to understand this. I am also planning on taking those 2 last days of vacation, right when I get back. I return on a wednesday, and the semester begins on monday of the next week. So, I will probably take thursday and friday off to recoup from jet lag.

The big problem here is that my signed contract is apparently different than the blanket contract that the province office has. Mr. Yoo keeps saying "but the contract in the book says..." and I just cut him off and tell him "that doesn't matter. The signed contract is the legally binding document here, not the contract in the book at the province office." They simply don't put much stock in the signed contracts here. They will change them as they see fit. How annoying.

Co-human

2007-06-27T11:53:00.000+09:00

Well, it's that time again. Final exams. That means one thing... I'm going to be "co-observing" students taking exams. Ok, I already know I'm not a real person here, but co-observing? What makes it even worse is that there are already mothers that come in to help observe the students to prevent cheating. So, there are 3 of us watching kids fale their exams. I'm such a vital cog in the educational machine that is Juksan Comprehensive High School.

I love that the more you watch teenagers, the more you realise that they are all the same, and all very boring. My last exam I had to co-observe, about 1o boys were finished in about 5 minutes. I was walking around, looked at their answer sheets, and they had every answer marked as "C." Yup. These are the kids I have to teach. I hope they enjoy pumping gas, because that is what I see in their future.

Finally

2007-06-27T08:03:00.000+09:00

I discovered a newly opened hamburgber restaurant in my city here. Up to now, the only hamburgers available were from Lotteria or from BHC hamburgers. Both of these places covered their burgers in some disgusting black sauce. They also covered their miniscule burgers with loads of roasted peppers and other things that simply do not belong on a burger.

I went to this new hamburger joint yesterday. They have a big menu (by Korean standards) and serve lots of good looking burgers. Now, these are not exactly like U.S. burgers, but it's close enough and it's not covered in nasty sauce. Their burgers do have a fried egg on them, but that is also available at some burger places in the U.S., I know they have one like that at Red Robin. Anyway, it's pretty exciting to be able to get a burger in your own city.

Snacks Making Me Think About Culture

2007-06-26T09:58:00.000+09:00

I'm sitting here in the office at school, and one of the secretaries bought in some snacks for the teachers. This is a very common practice. Lately, the snacks have consisted of watermelon, or oriental melons. This is great, since watermelons cost about $17 here. Today, the snack was steamed white potatoes. This is also very common. More common is a big bowl of steamed sweet potatoes, which are much more yellow than the orange U.S. variety. This has started to make me think about food here in Korea.

Korean cuisine is very simple and hearty. Lots of soups full of vegetables, lots of pork dishes, and lots of spicy stuff. Everything contains red pepper paste (gochujjang) so everything has a kind of red "DANGER" look about it. But, that is not what was making me think here.

There is no distinction in Korea between foods. Let me clarify. If the U.S. we have food that is traditionally breakfast food, i.e. bacon, eggs, cereals, pancakes, oatmeal. I mean, people eat these things at all times, but usually they are found only at breakfast. This is not the case in Korea. They use the same dishes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Breakfast here is often rice and kim-chi chiggae (spicy kim-chi soup with tofu). There is nothing in the cuisine that is considered "a breakfast food." They do not have labels like this. There are some traditional foods that are for specific holidays. Ddeok-guk, rice cake soup, is a traditional New Years dish, but it is also served everyday.

I wonder where this "all food for every meal" thing came from. I'm sure that it has to do with the fact that Korea for many years has known real hunger. When people are struggling to survive, you don't exclude food because it's just breakfast food. It's interesting to wonder about.
More interesting though, would be why we have separate breakfast foods in the West. Anyone have any ideas?

New Plans In Life

2007-06-24T18:57:00.000+09:00

By far, the most annoying aspect of life in Korea has to be my inability to make decisions here. I don't know why it is that I have no objectivity here to use in my decision making. That being said, I've come to a new plan.

Now, for the last several months, I've believed that I would stay here in Korea, and pursue my MA in TEFL (teaching english as a foreign language). This would give me a highly employable degree and some real time teaching experience. However, my time here has shown me one major flaw in this plan. I am not entirely happy teaching English. It's just not where my passion lies. I've tried, and it's just not enough to make me completely happy.

So, at the end of my contract, in April, I will return to the U.S.A. I want to pursue my MA in Slavic Studies at Ohio State University, in Columbus, Ohio. So, when I return to the U.S. I'll be moving to Columbus, where I will live for a year to establish my residency. I will have to spend the year also getting my Russian skills back up to speed. That is the plan as of now.

Ultimately, I am going to follow my heart on this one. It means that I'll be giving up my life here where I make very good money and do not have to worry about finances. I'll be returning to the life of a poor student. However, I know that I will never regret this choice. In the end, Korea will always be here and they will always be hiring more native speakers of English to teach. So, I could always return if need be.

Games

2007-06-15T14:53:00.000+09:00

Today, friday, is my most difficult day of the week. I have all of my classes back-to-back, and I have to teach the very worst class in the school. It's a very trying time of the week for me. So, to pass the time today more quickly, I decided to play a game.

The game today was Scattergories. Remember that game? You have a list of 12 categories and you chose a letter and write down words in those categories that begin with that letter. I made a spinner with the alphabet on it and ran of copies of a list for the students. They really got into playing the game in groups. Each group with the most responses received candy. I gave out a lot of candy today.

Speaking of games, the Rubik's cube is suddenly very popular here in my school. Today each class had about six different kids playing with them. I don't know what the sudden rush of popularity is all about, but they're distracting.

Bo-jee-mah!!!!

2007-06-11T15:27:00.000+09:00

Friday night I was sitting outside the Soda Star waiting for a friend. A couple of very drunk men walked by. One was staring at me intensely, really burning into me. I stared back and said "bo-jee-mah!!!" It freaked him out. He kind of jumped back and went on his way. Bo-jee-mah means "stop staring at me."

Later, after my friend arrived, we were talking in the same spot. The drunk guy and his friend came back. I pointed them out to my friend. The guy, when he saw me, covered his eyes with his hands. My friend and I were laughing so hard. I guess he took it to heart, and didn't want to stare at me anymore.

All The Girls Hate Me

2007-06-11T15:16:00.000+09:00

I am so sick and tired of looking at my female students during class. They're always applying make-up, lotion, powder... something to their faces. Or, their noses are pressed up against a mirror as they stare at their faces or fix their hair, or mess with pimples. I've had enough of it. I'm cracking down.

Friday, a girl was warned to put away the make-up. I always warn, I'm a softie that way. So, when she was applying powder next, I took away her compact. She wanted to know when she could get it back. I told her never. I took it home and threw it away. I did this at home so that the students wouldn't fish it out of the garbage here at school when they empty the trash.

Today, a girl was using a mirror in class. Now, this girl is always applying make-up or using a mirror, a horrible student. I took the mirror from her desktop and put it in her school bag. I told her not to bring it out again or I'd throw it out the window. Two minutes later, out it came. I calmly walked up to her, took the mirror and threw it out the second story window. CRASH! That's one less mirror I have to deal with. The class loved this. That girl did not.

Am I being harsh? I don't think so. They know the rules. They're breaking them. I give them a warning. It's their choice to not listen. If they won't give me respect and they don't care if they get hit... how about I hit them where it hurts? I know that cosmetics and mirrors will get pricey if you have to continually replace them.

I warned my last class about cosmetics and mirrors. One girl is going to cosmetology school. She told me that her make-up kit was expensive, $200. I told her I'd better not see her playing with it during class, I don't care how much it costs. I hope she understands.

Missed Calls

2007-06-11T07:57:00.001+09:00

I don't know why exactly, but I'm receiving many strange messages lately on my Vonage phone, the one with the Michigan phone number. First was a call from Neil at the WalMart hiring center in South Carolina. Apparently, if I go back to the U.S. I could very easily have a job at WalMart. Today I received a message from Jesse wanting to know if it was too late to join the Megabook Club, which she could only join after finishing camp.

Jesse... I think you're too late for the book club.

WalMart... I think I'll have to pass.

Baby's Coming Home

2007-06-07T12:13:00.001+09:00

This morning, I booked my flight for my visit home. For those of you who are interested in seeing me, I'll be in Michigan from wednesday, July 25 to wednesday, August 15. The ticket was quite pricey. $2,005.30. Thank God my school will reimburse me for this. I can't wait to see everyone.

Outrage

2007-06-04T13:53:00.000+09:00

Today while teaching one of my senior classes, I saw that one of the boys had a big bandage on his arm, running from the elbow down to the wrist. I stopped to ask him what he'd done. He told me, and seemed to be rather proud of himself, that he was drunk and got in an accident on his motorbike. I was shocked. He was proud of himself. It wasn't a big deal. Just a daily thing in his life. My co-teacher wasn't shocked or even really concerned. I yelled at him and told him not to do that again. I let him know that if he were in America that he would be in jail right now. Apparently it is illegal in South Korea, drunk driving, but there are absolutely no police out on the streets, so it goes unenforced. I am so shocked and disgusted by this. It's no wonder that the traffic accident rate is the highest in Korea. When will my kids learn? Getting smashed does not make you an adult or a man.

Saturday Night

2007-06-04T09:27:00.000+09:00

On Saturday, I was invited to Brandon's for dinner. I'd never been to his apartment, so it was a nice treat to say the least. First of all, his apartment is very nice. It's in the big high-rise apartment buildings that most Koreans live in. He has separate rooms, not like me, two large rooms, a big kitchen, and balcony, and bathroom. His apartment is also newly renovated, with him being the first new occupant. So, that's nice too.

Brandon also invited an artist couple that he knows. He teaches their children, and became friends with this man and his wife. They travel all over the world working. Listening to their stories were great. His living in Italy, the U.S., Austria, Costa Rica... everywhere. It must be an incredible life.

Dinner was grand. Brandon made a wonderful chicken curry, from scratch. I was incredibly impressed. I can't cook anything.

Talking to the artist couple, they started to think that I don't like Korea. This is my fault. I realise that when I talk about Korea and tell stories, I talk mostly about negative things that have happened to me. Let's face it, it's more interesting to talk about people grabbing me on the street and staring at me then it is to talk about a student that was polite. However, in telling these "interesting" stories, I give the impression that everything here sucks. The truth is that if I hated it here, I wouldn't be here. The money wouldn't be worth my misery. So, I will have to be a bit more careful when I talk to strangers about my Korean experience. I'll need to pepper my stories with the positive aspects too.

On a side note, I learned how to say "stop staring at me" in Korean. I can't wait to use it. It is definitely a useful phrase to know.

Meetings

2007-06-04T09:20:00.001+09:00

It's monday morning. That means one thing, Korean teachers' meeting. Like clockwork, the office manager uses a microphone and says something in Korean. You stand up and face the flag. Next thing he says means that you put your hand over your heart and salute the flag for about five seconds. Next word means you're finished. Then he says something else which means "sit down and say hello to your neighbors." After I sit down and say "annyeonghasseyho" to no one in particular, I get out my mp3 player and start listening to music and chatting online.

This is the form that the Korean teachers' meeting takes. Different important teachers from each department stand up one-by-one and report on what is going on. I mean, this is what I assume is going on, since it's in Korean, and not translated for me. There is no discussion of anything, just reporting.

Looking around the office, I think that the other teachers are about as involved as I am. I see the teachers surfing the net, writing email, or trying to stay awake. I'm glad to see that they're as bored as I am. I just view this time as my mp3 and chatting time or my time to cut out things that I've laminated. Oh, the daily grind of the Korean teachers. Every monday... at least it's a nice and easy way to slide into the work week.

Korean Treats

2007-06-04T09:15:00.000+09:00

Periodically in school, we recieve treats from parents, former students, or other teachers. Generally the treats take the form of little bottles of "juice" that are very healthy for you... but generally taste like evil. After drinking onion juice, I no longer drink these things. There is a vitamin C drink that I'll drink, but that's it. Sometimes the treats themselves are things that I'm really not crazy for. Some of these include things like traditional rice cakes, which are little colorful balls of goo... they're very pretty, but taste like nothing or simply taste bad. Some of them I like, but some of them are just not for me. When I'm given these little "treats," more often than not, I give them to some passing student. The student is so shocked that I'm giving them these amazing treats. They're so thankful. It's nice. It gets rid of the "treats" for me, and gives the students a nice little lift to their day.

Gross

2007-05-31T15:52:00.000+09:00

Oh my God, I just witnessed the most disgusting thing ever. I was teaching a freshman class, supposedly one of the smart classes. I looked up and one boy student was biting the nails of another boy student. Yes, he was clipping his nails for him with his mouth. They did it so nonchalantly. I just stood there, stunned, and let them know how disgusting that was. The younger kids here really lack basic manners and don't understand how to behave. By the way, I was not over-reacting. Mr. Yoo was also disgusted by the whole thing.