You Want Me To Drink Out Of What?

My school supplies the office with little paper cups for water and tea and coffee. They are slightly larger than dixie cups.

The cups feature various things on them. Sometimes they have zodiac signs on them, although I always get Taurus (maybe we only get Taurus cups). Sometimes they have two numbers on them, temperatures, one red and one blue. I'm guessing the best or safest temperatures for hot and cold beverages?

Now, my all time favorite cup is the series that features various stretches you can perform during the work day. There is one showing how to stretch your neck, loostening up the shoulders and such. The best cup shows a back stretch. I know it's for a back stretch. I know this. However, when I look at it all I can think of is "Is this a kama sutra cup?" I guess my mind is in the gutter, but it looks incredibly suggestive to me. What do you think?

Baby Steps

This is origami central baby. Every Korean student knows what they're doing in this paper-folding art. I'm so ignorant.

While I was at a stationary store, I took my first step in origami literacy. I bought a pack of origami paper. Maybe one day I will be able to make cranes. But since I'm all thumbs (being a bassoonist that plays an instrument with 13 thumb keys, this is literally the truth) I'm not sure if that will be possible.

Yesterday after school, I finally pulled out the paper. I made my very first origami. I made a little paper box. I put altoids in it and gave it to my co-teacher. She was happy to see that I had finished the box.

Also, yesterday, I was able to spell two Korean words on my own in Korean correctly. This is quite a feat if I do say so myself. Mr. Yoo told me the name of a market in Seoul, and I spelled it in Hangul (Korean alphabet) and it was correct. In class I translated the work hagwan into English, and I wrote hagwan underneath it in Korean. Both were correct.

It's happening people. I'm getting more Asian by the day. First there's the bowing, then the chopsticks, then the Korean alphabet, now there's the origami. Next thing you know I will be into anime and Hello Kitty.

A New First

Tonight I ordered pizza from Dominoe's by myself. No one was home to help me, so I did it myself. I'm such a Bohemian. It was not an easy task and it was very daunting. Now I can accomplish anything.

Guilt

Inevitably there comes a time in everyone who is living abroad's life when they are racked with the feelings of guilt. Guilt for missing birthdays and holidays, guilt for missing special events. I am truly racked with guilt... the guilt of the good son.

A couple of weeks ago my father was in a car accident. He was rearended when going to lunch. He smacked the back of his head on the headrest and had to go to the hospital. He was transferred to Ann Arbor. He had a serious concussion. This is a major thing. My father does not remember 3 days of his life. And now, he has serious memory problems. He forgets where he is going and what he did just the day before. He went to see his specialist and he has a minor brain injury that will take up to a year or more to heal and he has severe whiplash. He now has physical therapy for his neck and shoulders, speech therapy and memory therapy (that is what the speech therapy is part of).

I am the good son. I'm the one that drives my mom back and forth (she is legally blind) to the hospital when dad hurts himself. I'm the one that takes dad to his surgery and doctor appointments. I am sitting here in Korea and there is absolutely nothing I can do to help. Part of me wants to come home to help my dad, and part of me just wants to finish my contract. My parents want me to stay here, but I feel so helpless and guilty. I know that my dad has to sit at home all day because he won't risk driving somewhere and forgetting where he is going. I'm conflicted. Most of all, I'm just hurting for my parents.

T.G.I.F.

I am so incredibly happy that it is Friday. This first week back with students has been so trying and frustrating and exhausting. Where to start?

Well, the yellow card/red card thing works well... to an extent. I gave out red cards the first two days, no more red cards were given this week. However, none of the students showed up for their detentions. I had Mr. Yoo talk to the homeroom teachers, then 1 student showed up out of 4. Then another 2 students were given red cards and didn't show up. Now, today a student is coming after school. I'm pissed that the homeroom teachers aren't putting the fear of God into these kids. Why should I be the only teacher without credibility? I think that the word has gotten around though about how horrible it is to write these sentences. I'm hoping that regardless of wether the homeroom teachers make the students follow through (I will make them follow through when I see the kids next) that the rest of the students will know that I mean business.

Also this week I have a new co-teacher, since Ms. Lee is gone on maternity leave (she had a boy). My new co-teacher speaks perfect English, she spent some time (a very short time) in L.A. So, I've had a new co-teacher to get used to, which is always interesting.

My schedule was also rearrainged since another co-teacher went on a business trip. This gave me 6 classes in one day, which is a lot. I swear to God and Buddha and Allah and Moses that I thought I would die. It was a day filled with bad classes and bad attitudes and my exhaustion. I made it through the day, and went home. From standing so much and teaching, my feet and calves kept cramping up all night and into the next morning. I also was losing my voice.

So, I've reached Friday alive, barely. I need the weekend more than the students do. I never thought I would have such a rough first week back.

Play Time Is Over

Monday was the beginning of school. Vacation was over. I took this opportunity to start anew. Everyone has a clean slate and a fresh start. Play time is over.

Since discipline is horrible in my school, I have taken it upon my self to lead the crusade. This started a few months back with my taking of the cell phones. This was only step one.

I created yellow and red cards. They are laminated. When a student is bad, I lay a yellow card on their desk. I do this with some flourish, so that the entire class knows who is getting the yellow card. This is a warning. Your behavior is inappropriate and needs to stop. If the behavior continues, they get the red card. This is the card of doom. Their ass is grass and I'm the lawn mower.

With the red card, they have to come and see me at 5 o'clock when school is over. They have to sit down next to me, and write sentences IN ENGLISH. Now, they hate English, and writing it is the worst. So, it's a good punishment I think. However, the sentences they are writing are uplifting things with the Korean translation there. So they will be writing "I am a person of worth." Maybe this will make them "wake up."

Today I gave out 4 red cards, 3 in just one class. So, I'm hoping that tomorrow, the kids will report back about how they had to write all of these sentences and how horrible it was. If not, I have more red cards.

Enlightenment

On Tuesday, I went on a short 3 hour bus trip to the seaside town of Seosan. I went with the intention of vising the sea. However, the trip took a more interesting turn. I ended up climbing a mountain and visting a Buddhist temple.

After buying a local ticket at Seosan, Victoria and I waited for an hour for the bus to show. No such luck. With our hopes dwindling, I made the bold suggestion. "Wanna go halvsies on a cab?" Best suggestion ever.

The cab took us over to another town. Then we turned off of the road. We traveled back, around a small lake, through the mountains, for about 3 miles or so. It was a beautiful drive. When we got to our destination we had a picnic lunch that we had brought. Delightful.

We foolishly imagined that we were close to the temple. We were mistaken. The temple lay at the top of the mountain. We had hundreds of decaying stone steps to climb. The steps went on forever, and I thought I was going to die.
We finally made it to the top. We were both sweating so much, it was like a joke. We sat on a stone slab trying to catch our breath. Koreans were staring at us. Victoria said "Mommy, is that what white people look like when they're dyeing?"
The climb was worth it. The temple was beautiful. It had painted panels surrounding the building showing scenes of daily life. They were incredibly detailed and beautifl.
The shrine was incredibly beautiful, with a golden Buddha surrounded by large statues of other holy people. I burned some incense to Buddha. Afterward, I sensed a change. I am such an elightened holy boy now. Sitting in Korea living my Bohemian lifestyle, spending time at my favorite coffe shop, being freakin' enlightened. Wow. Korea changes people... but then again... nah, I'm still the same sarcastic boy I was before.

Stupid Is As Supid Does

In Korea we see it all over the place. English that is used to for "coolness" on clothes that makes no sense. Here is a website devoted to just that. Mainly bad English from Japan. It has made me laugh out loud several times. http://www.engrish.com.

Touring In Style

On Sunday, I was in Seoul with Victoria (no surprise) and we decided to take the Seoul City Tour Bus. I was able to use my tour book and figure out the subway enough to get us to the beginning of the tour route. Now, I'm from Michigan... not a big public transportation state (thank you Big 3), so I'm not used to reading subway maps or bus schedules. So, just doing this was a tremendous coup.

The bus ride took a total of 2 hours. It stopped at lots of places. Now, you can buy a day ticket for $10 and tour the city. Get out anywhere you want, and get on when the next bus stops by, a very cool thing. The bus also had headphones with audio commentary about the places you see in English, Korean, Chinese, Japanese, and French. I chose English.

The main government building was covered in a shroud. Check it out... very cool.

The only stop we made was to see Deoksugung Palace. Every palace in Korea looks the same. It's kind of disappointing. More disappointing is that you can't enter any of them, and there is nothing in them to see anyway. So, you see the throne room, but it's empty. What's the point?

When we arrived, they were re-enacting a changing of the guards. Note that the Palace is conveniently located across the street from Dunkin Donuts. Those Emperors thought of everything.

Here is the gate to enter teh Palace. It's very big, very impressive. It looks like everything I saw at the Folk Village and at the War Museum and everywhere else in Korea. It's very beautiful though.

Here's some nice shots of the Palace. A statue, the throne room, just some nice exterior stuff. Like I said, very beautiful.

I'm A Superstar

While shopping at the express bus terminal in Seoul (great bookstore, McDonald's, department store, and Outback Steakhouse) Victoria decided to get her nails done. I left her there and went to the bookstore. I bought Spank the Monkey. I would have bought every one there, but it was $18 for a card game, so it wasn't in the budget. Anyway, on the way out, a man grabbed me by the arm and pointed to Victoria.

So, here's the story. The nail place just painted nails, didn't do fake nails. So, Victoria was going to go into the bookstore. However, she had a coke from McDonald's. The store security guy wouldn't let her in. So, she asked him to find me, her friend. He said "big guy?" and mimed my size. She said "Yes. He famous sumo wrestler in America." The security guards eyes got wide and he responded "OOohhhhh..." and was star struck. Victoria found the situation incredily amusing, as did I.

So, the key to me getting respect is to claim to be a sumo wrestler. No autographs please, Yokozuna Youngs needs to rest.

M.A.S.H. Didn't Cover This

Yesterday I was in Seoul at the War Museum. The museum covers the entire history of war in Korea, which is very extensive. From the Chinese, to the Japanese, to the Korean war that we know, this peninsula has been invaded over 300 times. It's no wonder that the sense of cultural identity is so strong. I realised immediately that I am completely 100% ignorant of Korean history and that is a very very sad thing indeed.

First off, the museum is a formidable building, with planes and tanks outside, and sculpture.

For some reason, the museum also exhibits other things. Somehow, this months offerings really didn't "mesh" well with the general austere and militant theme.

In all seriousness though, the museum was a humbling experience. Outside, they have porticoes lined with floor to ceiling plaques. They list all of the soldiers that died trying to protect South Korea during the Korean War. Then there was one porticoe just for the U.S. casualties. It is staggering to see the thousands upon thousands (I believe 35,000 in total) of names of people who died in this country. We found the name of Victoria's cousin, a sobering experience.
Inside, there is everything that you could imagine. Ships, cannons, a scale model that you can walk through of the fortress at Hwaseong.
The most interesting and relevant part of the museum for me was the section on the Korean War. Now, I don't claim to know jack squat about the war. It was an eye opening exhibit. I had no idea how far the North Koreans had pushed back the South Koreans, they were down to the south edge of the peninsula before the U.S. intervened. I also didn't know that the entire war was fueled by the struggle between the U.S. and the U.S.S.R. How many wars had to be fought around the world to keep the balance between the two. It's a crazy thing. I just don't understand completely how "evil" the Soviets were and why they had to be squashed everywhere they were. That's what all of those Russian courses have led to, me questioning the standard dogma of the day.

Anyway, the exhibit on the Korean War was prolific. The most extraordinary aspect for me was learning that 100,000 students volunteered to fight for South Korea. We were at the museum with 3 middle school students. There was a diarama about a battle at a girls middle school between the North Koreans and the student volunteers. I tried to get the middle school girls to see that girls their age faught and died for their country. I don't know if they can appreciate it.

The museum is worth seeing again. I need to read learn more about this country and what it has been through. I am a bit troubled by the youth and their absentmindedness when it comes to Korean history. I hope that they listen to their grandparents and the older generation who remember the hard times. Oh well, enough of my stupid American observations. Who am I to make observations?

Only In Korea

Here is a card game you cannot get in the U.S.A. I'm fairly certain that the title of the game doesn't translate quite as well as it should.
I'm assuming that all the other euphemisms for "masturbation" were taken for other game titles. Maybe I can find a whole set of these games. "Hey kids... who wants to Spank the Monkey???" Crazy stuff.

How Much Are You Willing To Pay?

This is the question of the hour. How much are you willing to pay? Random items in Korea are incredibly expensive. It makes little to no sense. Now, imported items are clearly going to be expensive. Therefore, magazines from the U.S. and English language books are a bit pricey. Not out of the range or people, but an Oprah magazine (Victoria reads them) costs about 7000 won (remember, there are 1000 won in a dollar roughly) here in Korea, and is under $4 in the U.S. Other pricey itmes, a deck of playing cards range from 6000-10,000 won ($6-10).

Nowhere are skyhigh prices seen more clearly than in the grocery store. Now, I understand the high price of beef. This country is 70% mountains. You can't raise cattle on a mountain, they won't get fat... too much exercise, not enough grazing. So, when you want beef, you have to pay for it... through the nose. A steak at Outback Steakhouse here costs between 30,000 and 50,000 won.

Fruit. This is the one I don't understand completely. I was in a grocery store in Cheonan. The fruit was astronomical. One mango... 12,300 won. 30 or so blueberries... 7056 won. An exotic apple... 8,500 won. And lastly, 2 cantaloupe melons... 35,000 won. Don't even think about making a fruit salad here. You'd have to mortgage your home, and sell some plasma.

A Delightful Day of Nothing

On sunday, I did nothing. I spent the day relaxing. It was wonderful. I did end up meeting with Victoria for an early dinner and to relax at the Soda Star coffee shop. We met at a place that is new to us, that serves cheese bulgogi. Bulgogi is pork or beef that is merinated. Here, it's put into a pan on the table to cook with cabbage, onion, carrote, spicy sauce, and at the last minute, cheese is added. You eat it wrapped in lettuce leaves. It's good stuff. We brough a baguette to make little sandwiches. A complete success, even if it isn't terribly Korean. Who knows, maybe we'll start a trend.
After the meal, we walked across the street to the Soda Star. Now that it's a million degrees out with 300,000% humidity, I've changed to a new drink. It's a frozen drink made from yogurt and strawberries. It's quite tastey. Before going to the restaurant I stopped to get a deck of cards. I thought we could play some rummy while relaxing at the coffee shop. My corner shop had a deck, they wanted $10 for it. I went to 7-11 and bought a deck of cards for $6! Can you believe it? If you want to make a fortune, think playing card imports into Korea. Anyway, it was a great time in Soda Star. Here are some shots of the interior of the coffe shop. The owner's wife painted everything on the walls.

Google And Their Bizarre World

This has nothing to do with Korea. My homepage at school on my computer is the google homepage. It's just easier than having to find an english search engine. With that said, every day on Google's homepage, they have a "How To of the day." They are the most useless and random of things. Today the two "how to" tips are "How to ride a horse bareback" and "How to prepare for a hurricane." Well, if you're in a hurricane, the first thing you should do is not be riding your horse bareback. What is up with these tips? Do they help anyone? Is the random juxtaposition of the two just a bit too random? I'm sitting here confused and dumbfounded and just a little amused. Oh Google... you do so much for us.

Slave Labor

I guess the southerners had it right. Sometimes slave labor is the only way to get things done. If you doubt it, ask Victoria. Thursday I had the day off. She called me up early in the morning and asked if I wanted to go to the store with her. I agreed. I ended up going to her school with her and staying all day and "helping" her fix up her new English room. Along for the ride was Victoria's new dog Kim Chi. Not to be confused with the Korean staple of kim-chi. This is Ms. Chi, first name Kim.

Here is a shot of me sharpening pencils with a very pink Hello Kitty-esque pencil sharpener. The school's do not own a pencil sharpener, they use a pen knife.

Here is Ms. Kim Chi. She is sitting on one of the cushions for the students... like she owns the place. Yup... can you say "spoiled?"

I was still sick with my cough. I was taking traditional Korean medicine. It looks an awful lot like rabbit droppings.

And, just to keep the ACLU off of her case, Victoria helped out too.

Now, Victoria has put a lot of effort into getting her room ready for her students. I think that they will be so happy to see it. She really has made it quite an amazing place... I hope the kids will appreciate it as much as they should.
Here is the Wall of Fame. When a student completes the task, their name will go in the picture frame on the rung of that ladder. What a clever idea.
Here's the "book tree" or "tree of knowledge." I'm not sure what it's gonna do, but we laughed when she made it. She says, some things workout well, some don't. This tree would be an artistic thing that didn't work out so well.
Her room is posh. She has a water cooler in the classroom. Now, she was warned by her co-teacher "don't lose the watercooler." She's doing a super job of not losing it so far.