Crazy Aussies!

I am good friends with a couple of Australians. Toni has been here for a few years. She had an opening at her school and managed to convince her best friend to come teach with her. The two of them together are lound and funny and just outrageous. They really are great fun. Unfortunately, they live down south, so we only see them maybe once a month when they come up to the Air Base are and get a hotel room and spend time hanging out, eating good food, and drinking. They are a lot of fun. So, this saturday I hung out with them for quite a while. Here is the end result.

These are some wonderful hats that they bought. It was a terribly cold day. The bunny was by far the best hat I've ever seen.

We found this crazy store that was going out of business. A clothing store. Everything in it was $1. The owner wasn't there, but he left his phone number, so we called him. He came by in 15 minutes. The store is absolutely crammed and piled with clothes of every kind. You really had to dig to find good stuff, but it was there. Sandra got a red suede jacket for $5. The owner kept singing a little song, the only words were "one dollar, one dollar, one dollar..." It was terribly repetitive. It was fun. Everyone got some great stuff. I think Victoria got 16 things. All I got were socks.

After the clothing shopping fest, we went to a bar to get out of the cold. We then went to a new German restaurant that is run by a German man and his Korean wife. It was a great time. After the restaurant it was off to the Bellagio bar where the girls enjoyed an endless supply of "dirty mothers" which is a cocktail made from kaluah, tequila, and milk. I had to leave early to get back to Anseong. Next time I'm going to get a hotel and stay with them, they're just too fun.

Here is a picture of Sandra, the birthday girl. She's been in Korea for about one month. Look how great my beard is coming in. This is after one month of growth.Here is Jude posing with Toni at the German restaurant.

Here is M.J., the owner of the Bellagio bar and the maker of the dirty mothers.

An Update

Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. Not too much has been going on here in Korea. Everyday is the same thing really. School, which is always the same, home, dinner, school. On my weekends now I usually go to Songtan, where the U.S. Airbase is located. I have friends there and we eat some western food and hang out. So, here are some photos that I've taken over the last few weeks. I hope you enjoy.

A couple of weeks ago was the Anseong festival. My friend Jude came over to check it out. The festival was quite a dud. However, we went out that night. So here are some candid bar shots from Anseong. The one bar, Angler 9, has a central bar with a pyramid of beer. There is an ice trough around it and you just pull out the beer that you want and drink it. It's pretty nifty.

Thursday was my school's sports day. A whole day of sporting events for the kids. I was bored all day, but the kids had fun. Each class had a uniform shirt, which was kind of fun. Some of the more interesting things were an under-water breath holding competition that looked like Mr. Yoo was drowning the children!

Here is the gym teacher, fully in his element. Always with the track suit, sunglasses, and hat. He's a super nice guy.

This shirt on the front said "I'm a nice person." On the back it says "so what." The big letters in the middle spell "mwo" which means "what." I thought they were neat.

Foreigners

I don't know what is going on with me lately. I cannot stand to hang out with the foreigners here in Korea. By foreigners I mean the other teachers from the U.S., Canada, Australia, etc. It is becoming a real problem I think.

Lately I've been feeling the need to edit my life a bit. I mean that I'm now pulling my close friends closer and cutting loose those people that do nothing for me emotionally and spiritually. I have to say that the vast majority of the foreign teachers here flal into the latter category.

About 90% of the foreigners here tend to be completely superfluous. They talk and talk and talk but they don't say anything. They are acquaintences. I find them to be really disengenuous. Also, in my city they are very much like high school students. They talk about everyone behind their back and are constantly backstabbing. So, in order to save my own sanity I simply don't hang out with them. I won't do it. When I have to spend any time with them I get very stressed out. I'm sure they're nice people, but they are toxic to my wellbeing.

Anyway, my friend Jude experienced this first hand over the weekend. He was in Anseong for the Baudeogi Festival. He wanted to go to the bar where the foreigners go, Ouzo. I took him. The next table had a couple of foreigners and some Koreans all talking. Talking about nothing, but talking non-stop. After only 30 minutes of this Jude looked at me and said "get me the hell out of here!" He'd had enough. Needless to say, I will never go to this bar again.

I'm officially done with these foreigners. Keeping these "friendships" are draining emotionally and leave me feeling more lonely than if I were to just stay by myself. So I choose to keep in touch with the handful of foreigners who actually speak and have things to say. They contribute to my wellbeing. That's my life here as of late.

Breaking News: BEARDGATE '07

Today in my 2-3 class several students reacting interestingly to my beard. They had to touch it. So, like I was a dog, several students touched my beard and recoiled in disgust.

Beardgate. All the beard news that's fit to print.

A Chair Like No Other

I hate this story. Victoria loves it. She makes me tell it to every new person we meet. It's super embarassing for me, but if I can't laugh at myself then who can I laugh at?

Let's go back a year and a half ago. It was my first day at school in Korea. I go in, sit at my desk. The teachers start saying to me "Oh, your chair is too small." I tell them "No, it's fine." They keep reiterating that it's too small for me. I keep insisting that it's fine. I don't want them to do anything weird. It's fine. It's fine. Anyway, I left to go to my first class (which I wasn't really supposed to have but whatever). When I come back to my desk I'm in shock.

Ok, have you ever watched a talk show like Oprah or something and they have on the super obese people that weigh 900 pounds and Richard Simmons comes on the show? Well, on these episodes you look at the set and you say to yourself, "Self, the normal chair is gone. They've replaced the guest's chair with a bench for this large person." Well, my school did this to me, to an extent.

I came back into the office to my desk and this is what I found. Not a chair. Not a bench. It is the front bucket seat out of some automobile put on a metal rolling rack. Holy embarassed. There is no hiding the fact that it's a car seat. It has the map pocket in the back. It made me feel so incredibly ashamed.

This makes me ask a few questions. Where did they find this chair? It's not something they just rushed out to get when I got there. It must have been sitting around somewhere. Did they take it from a teacher's car? I don't know. Anyway, it's my cross to bear. Here are pics of my office "chair." Victoria loves this... I hate it. Oh, I don't hate the "chair" anymore, because there is back support and a head rest, so when I'm tired I can just put my head back. So that's the bonus. Here it is. My shame.

Update: BEARDGATE '07: Week 1

Here I am after a week of not shaving. Notice the satisfied look on my face as I stick it to the man, the man being my school that is poopy to me.

All Is Fair In Love And War

After having nearly a week off for Korean Thanksgiving (Chuseok) I was left with a quandry. I hadn't shaved in a week, and I kind of liked the scruffy look. I knew my school would hate it. On days when I had gone to school after not shaving I would hear from the other teachers "Oh, you didn't shave today. Why didn't you shave today? I think you should shave." Well, this left me with an idea. Beard warfare.

So, I went to school with facial hair and they hate it.... so I love it. The students like it. The teachers don't. My co-teacher while driving me home friday said "Please shave." I said no. Then he said "some people look dirty with a beard." I said "but I'm clean." I think that if anyone says anything else my response is going to be "Jesus had a beard." I mean, how do you come back from that? You pretty much can't.

Am I being petty? No. Far from it. This is passive resistance. Didn't Gahndi preach that? I am like a modern Gahndi... but in Korea... and not really fighting injustice. But, it's nice to needle my school with something that they can't really change. I can't wait until my demo lesson approaches at the end of October. I'm sure they will "suggest" that I shave. It ain't gonna happen.

I'm a rebel with absolutely no cause.

Happy Birthday To Me

Monday was my birthday. Now, I turned 30... but that's in Korean age. Everywhere else in the world I'm considered to be 29 years old. I'll cross that 30 bridge next year. To celebrate my birthday Victoria invited me over to her place for dinner. Now, she was in the hospital last week for chest pains, and had an angioplasty, so for her to do anything was just beyond amazing. She was feeling very good though. So, for dinner she mad spring rolls, salad (one without tomatoes for me, she knows me so well), bagette with black olive spread from her recent trip to Italy, spaghetti with shrimp (she thought they were real shrimp when she bought it, but they were in fact made from flour, they're good though). For dessert she bought a cheese cake. It was just so great of her to do this for me. I've been feeling so burned out and anti-social lately, so this was more appreciated than you can imagine. She also got me a couple of small things. Here are the highlights.

Punishment?

There are several students being "punished" right now. They are squatting in the office, waiting to talk to their teacher that is punishing them. However, they still have their cell phones and are just text messaging. Is that really a punishment? We have kids frequently who are in a kind of "in school suspension" where their desks are in the hall outside of the teacher's office. However, the kids have their phones and mp3 players, and are usually just sleeping all day. How is this a type of punishment? I don't get it. Doesn't seem to teach anything to me. Doesn't seem to make them behave any better. Doesn't stop anything.

Careers

I took an online career planner survey thing. After answering the questions it suggests careers that are best suited to your skills and personality and such. Here are the results. I hate the first suggestion. I like number 24. What do you think?

1.
ESL Teacher

2.
Foreign Language Instructor

3.
Special Effects Technician

4.
Actor

5.
Corporate Trainer

6.
Computer Trainer

7.
Director of Photography

8.
Driving Instructor

9.
Director

10.
Professor

11.
Set Designer

12.
Costume Designer

13.
Producer

14.
Casting Director

15.
Musician

16.
Comedian

17.
Composer

18.
Occupational Therapist

19.
Arts Administrator

20.
Makeup Artist

21.
Magician

22.
Foreign Service Officer

23.
Economic Development Officer

24.
Taxidermist

25.
Customer Service Representative

26.
Association Manager

27.
Industrial Designer

28.
Industrial-Organizational Psychologist

29.
Technical Writer

30.
Recreation Director

31.
Interior Designer

32.
Home Inspector

33.
Exhibit Designer

34.
Desktop Publisher

35.
Editor

36.
Librarian

37.
Human Resources Specialist

38.
Wedding Planner

39.
Office Machine Repairer

40.
Potter

Sick Student

Whenever a student is tired, they say "I'm sick." This is how they let get the teacher to let them sleep at their desk with their head down. It's pretty annoying. Well, this morning a girl told me she was sick. My answer was "so am I." She said she had a cold. I said "so do I." This didn't make her happy. So, she put her head down. Fine, I don't really feel like arguing this point anymore. I mean, the kids that want to sleep during class, it's better if they're asleep, then they're not disrupting class. Well, next thing I know she has her mp3 player headphones on. I Make her take them off... she's sick. A few minutes later she was talking to her classmate next to her. I yelled at her and told her to stop talking to people... she's sick. Basically I took away all the fun from being "sick." I didn't let her listen to music, talk to people, play with the girl's hair in front of her. She had to sit at her desk with her head down. It was pretty awesome. Next time a student plays this "I'm sick" game with me, I might just move their desk to the front of the classroom... because they're sick.

Made In Korea

I'm going to start buying some nicer things from Korea for my home when I move back to the U.S. The plan is to buy one thing per month and have it shipped home. This is the first thing that I bought. It is a traditional paper craft here. The figures are 3 traditional dancers. It's very 3-dimensional.

Chiro And Crafts

Yesterday I made a trip to Songtan to visit a chiropractor, which is a very rare find in Korea. I find it odd that they embrace all kinds of alternative medicine here but not chiropractic. Anyway, it turns out that the chiropractor is from Farmington, Michigan. A local boy! He adjusted me and eleviated my major sciatica pain, which is really bad lately due to some elevated stress levels in my life. I will visit him three times a week for a while. It's good to know that I can get a native English speaker to help me out.

After the adjustment, I met with Jude, who lives in Songtan. We went to a nice little Italian restaurant. Now, Italian food here in Korea is generally speaking quite bad. As a rule the sauce is incredibly runny and watery. Many times I eat the pasta and just think "If you left this on the stove for 2 more minutes, it wouldn't be half bad."

After eating we discovered that the restaurant had a section of paint-it-yourself cups. Feeling rather capricious, we both took some time to decorate cups. We will get them back in a week or so after they are glazed and fired. It was actually a really nice way to spend an afternoon. Here are some pics of my cup. I'll post the after shots when I get it back.

Gifts

My last class was meeting for an extra English class. So, with this being their second English class of the day, they really didn't want to do anything. I had them play pictionary for candy. When I was passing out the candy to the winning team, one of them said they were tired of candy, and how about chocolate next time? I said "how about nothing next time." Never look a gift horse in the mouth. I can't believe complaining about free candy. Crazy kids.

Tourguide

Last night I met a new teacher here in town. She just arrived in Korea on Friday. Victoria and I took her to dinner and for a coffee at Soda Star. We also took her to the market and showed her arround for a bit. It was refreshing to show someone around. I showed her the good things here, which is helping to change my negativity around a bit. She seems like a very nice woman.

Nice Teachers

Yesterday was my first day back since having my nervous breakdown here at work. It went surprisingly well. I'm very certain that the teachers understand how bad it's been for me and how frustrated and upset I've been. One teacher gave me a bag of candy. Another gave me a piece of candy. Best of all, no one has bothered me with paperwork about the pay change or anything. I think they must understand that my sanity is hanging on by a thread. I should have breakdowns more often. They're very cleansing.

Pink Eye

I don't understand this but it's pink eye season in Korea. How does pink eye have a season? I understand seasonal things like allergies since mold and pollen and things follow seasonal levels, but pink eye? I just don't get it. Anyway, my kids have fallen like flies to this itchy puffy fate. In my first class this week there were only 7 students that showed up. That's 7 out of 36. That was the most dramatic reduction, but all the classes are missing at least 10 students. The crazy thing is that the Korean teachers told me that many of the kids want to get pink eye, so they purposefully itch their sick friends' eyes and then try to infect themselves. It apparently works. So far this week it has been pointless for me to be here. Out of 4 classes we only did work with one of them. The rest were just given some free time since it is pointless to press on when you will have to repeat it in a few days. I reminded my kids to wash their hands frequently with hot water and soap. I'm not going to let anyone touch me.

Survival Strategy

Well, after all the stress of Thursday, I did not go to school on Friday. I'm still not 100% sure what I'm going to do about my school. I'm going to try and stick it out as long as possible. How will I survive? That's going to involve me listening to my mp3 player a lot at work, since headphones are the universal "leave me alone" symbol. Other than that, I need my school to understand how frustrated and really hurt I am. Unfortunately, I do not want to discuss these things with my school. I don't need to hear another empty "I'm sorry." They're not sorry. They're sorry that everything didn't work out to their advantage.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now?

I'm seriously thinking of leaving Korea this weekend or next week. I just don't think I can take it anymore. I can't do this anymore.

And The Shit Goes On

Update to the daily drama of my pay. Now my school is denying my previous work experience (remember that from the winter?) and they will drop my pay level. So, with the drop in pay level and the bonus rural pay, I will stay the same. I'm so beyond tired of battling my school for what they owe me. I'm done. I cannot put up with anymore. I can't do it. I can't come to work everyday and worry about the new ways that the school is trying to stick it to me, or the new ways that they are going to torture me mentally all day and night. I can't do it. If I had the money I would do a dash and leave this country this weekend without giving notice at my school. Any recent lottery winners want to make this dream a reality for me? I despise my school for what they have done and are continuing to do to me. I can't fight anymore. It's literally killing me on the inside. I'm done. They win.

Resolution

I do not know what changed between last night and this morning. My school has now told me that they will pay me the back pay and that I will be albe to stay in my current apartment. I'm thinking that this may change at any minute, but as of now, this is what is going on. Why must my school stress me out like this periodically? I don't know. But I'm happy for the resolution right now without getting the province office involved and without a shouting match.

Underhanded Dealings

Well, my school has just infromed me that they do not have the budget to pay me the roughly $1700 in back pay that they owe me. I have this choice. I can either get this pay, or lose my big apartment for a smaller and cheaper apartment. I'm waiting to hear back from the province office about this issue. I'm hoping that my school cannot really do this to me. If push comes to shove, I will stay in my apartment. The school will still have to pay me the extra money from now until the end of my contract. I will definitely let the school know exactly what I think about this situation and how they're treating me. I really don't care what bridges I burn. I know that my last 7.5 months here will be difficult, so what does it matter if they're even more difficult? I hate this so much. Why must my school do this to me at every single turn?

Money Wars

When it comes to money, my school is not going to give me a single penny without some kind of battle. I was informed today that the school does not have it in it's budget to pay me the retroactive rural pay now. I was told that they would pay me next year. Now, I don't really have a problem with this. The money is just going to sit in my bank until I leave Korea. I just don't know if they are trying to pull a fast one on me. To trust or not to trust. That is the question.

A New Class

I was informed the other day that a few of the teachers want to form a teachers only English class for me to teach. So far, I know that at least 4 teachers want to take English from me. 2 of them are very good, 2 are not so good. I have to say that I'm pretty excited about this. I think that this class might be just the thing to make my last 8 months here fly by. Since my students simply do not learn no matter how much effort I put into my classes, maybe the adults will give me that kind of satisfaction that is so lacking in my teaching life. I'm hoping that once this class forms and starts, that their desire to learn English actually translates into being good students. I know some teachers at other schools that have the problem that the principal forces the teachers to take these extra classes, and the teachers are just too busy and don't want to study. I'm hoping that my class will remain completely voluntary. I think it will. Oh God, I hope the principal doesn't decide to join!

Reading is Fundamental

On friday, I had an epiphany. I realised a while ago, while playing English word bingo with my students, that the vast majority of them cannot read English. Wow. That is so dismaying. How are they supposed to learn to run when they haven't learned how to crawl? If I dwell too much on how the system here does not allow a student who has fallen behind to get some extra help... I may just lose it. I know that students in the U.S. also don't necessarily get the help that they need, but it is, in theory, available to them.

Anyway, knowing how poorly my students can read English, I devised a game that is not based on comprehension, but exclusively on reading. I printed out basic words, from things we've studied this year so far. These included the days of the week, months, clothes, and school subjects. I put the words on the blackboard with magnets, randomly. Then the class is divided into two teams. The students come up 2 at a time, one from each team. I say a word off of the board and they run up to grab the word, and win a point for their teams. It actually went over very well. The kids enjoyed themselves, and I felt like it was a game that I can use many times and it will help them with their reading abilities. It's hard to stay motivated and creative when you're surrounded by such dispair (on the part of my students that is) but I do my best. I would like to get my students to dream again and hope for something in life, but that might be a bit unrealistic. Anyway, I do my best.

Nickeled and Dimed

It's no secret to anyone who has talked to me or read my blog that my school is slightly less than forthcoming when it comes to matters of money. If being stingy and shady was an olympic event, they'd at least place in the top 3. I have decided that if they wish to nickel and dime me, that is ok. But, they can expect to be nickeled and dimed right back.

One strange thing in the pay scale for foreign teachers is that if you teach in what is considered to be a "rural" area, you get paid an extra $100 per month, and you get an extra week of vacation time. When I received my very first pay, over a year ago I asked about this and was told that Juksan isn't the country. Over the last year I've asked other teachers in other schools, and the concensus is that almost everyone in Anseong gets this bonus pay. Hell, teachers living in and working in the city of Anseong get this pay, but I didn't qualify when I teach in a village?

Since I'm leaving at the end of April (YEAH) I definitely need all the money I can get. In this mindset I contacted people at the province office. They explained to me that just because my school was in the country didn't qualify it for this rural pay bonus. The bonus actually has to do with what zone the school is in within the city (I know, it makes no sense). Korean teachers that work in these "rural" schools also get bonus points so that they can go work in the better city schools... kind of like a get out of jail free card.

I asked the art teacher if she gets points for working here. She does. I knew it! So, after a short e-mail to the province liason and a quick phone call confirming it, I am going to get this extra pay. The best part is that it is retroactive. Hey, at the end of the year that extra $2600 will be very useful. I should get the retroactive $1700 in my next paycheck. I'm pretty happy. My school now knows that I'm playing hard ball. I'm not some pushover, and I'm gonna get everything that I'm entitled to get.

Corn

Here is something that I've never seen in the U.S.A. In my last class today 5 boys had little ears of corn that were black, like Indian corn. They were pulling off kernels and throwing them at eachother. I kept collecting the corn kernels and throwing them out, but they'd just keep finding more corn to throw. I have to admit, although it was so incredibly annoying, it was really funny to see. Why corn? It's such a strange thing to throw at someone. It's never a dull moment here at Juksan Comprehensive High School.

First Day Back

Well, it's the first day back to school. First day of the second semester. Man, the students don't want to be here! They were absolutely horrible today, as is to be expected. I like to make it known though that I realy like my students. They are really good kids. They are horrible students, but they are good kids. I much prefer them outside of class. I try my best to form my opinions of them based only on their behavior outside of class.

It was very nice to come back to school today. It was nice to sit at my desk and to see all of the teachers. They were happy to see me, and many of them gave me a "long time no see" kind of greeting. So, that was nice. All of the problems, and there are many, that I have with my school do not involve the other teachers. All of the teachers here are great, and they really are nice people. It's too bad that all the other things at this school have to overshadow the decency of the teachers.

I was just informed that I have to write a "report" for my summer vacation. Mr. Yoo had me sign a paper that indicated my vacation days. Well, he didn't inform me that on this form it said I was doing research on Korean culture. This is paperwork that everyone has to do inorder to receive their vacation time. What is wrong with Korea? Can't we just have vacation time? The crazy thing is that this is not a real assignment. I just need to put something together, that's it. No one will ever read it, since it's in English. There is no length requirement. It's just busy work. Koreans love beaurocracy.

Welcome Back Kotter

Here I am, back in Korea. The first indicator that I was in Korea came in the men's room in the Incheon International Airport, when I heard someone hock up some phlegm and spit. Yup, that indicated to me that I was indeed back in Korea.

When I finally got back to my apartment, the power was not on. My landlord had shut off my power while I was away. I did not ask him to do this. As a result I found a freezer full of rancid rotten food that had been fermenting for 3 weeks. This was the perfect way to be welcomed back to a country that I do not want to be in.

The one thing that I did enjoy was seeing Victoria again yesterday and hearing about her trip to Italy, which was amazing and really energized her. My vacation made me realise how little I want to be here in Korea, hers made her happy to be back home in Korea and recharged her soul. That is the difference between her and I.

Shave And A Haircut

Brandon emailed me early last week. He told me that he'd cut his hair, and really messed it up. He wanted me to fix it, since I cut my own hair here. No problem.

Brandon finally came over on Friday. When he bent down to take off his shoes at the door, I was shocked. He had cut his hair down to the skin at the crown of his head. The back of his head had straight lines across it that were also down to the skin. It looked like terraced mountain rice paddies on his head!

Brandon explained to me that he was indeed drunk when he had decided to cut his hair. I have never been so drunk that I would have for one millisecond entertained the idea that I would cut my own hair. That is a process that you want to be sober for.

Anyway, I did my best to fix Brandon's hair. Basically all I could do was even it out, but he was still bald in key places. I told him to get a yarmulkah and wear that for a week. The really bad thing is that he has a female guest coming to visit him on monday. I told him several stories that he could tell her about the hair. How about "I lost a bet." I think "I got it cut at the beauty college" is always a safe option. I hope the hair won't keep him from having a nice visit with his friend.

I Spoke Too Soon

I spoke too soon. Today I had 3 students show-up for English camp. It's funny. I was sitting at my desk in the office. Camp runs from 2-4. A student came up to me at 2:15. "Teacher, we have class now." I thought to myself, "we had class yesterday too... but where were you?" Oh well. I'm just showing "The Incredibles" and talking about superheroes and the video. It's nothing too exciting. I'm just doing my best to make it until tuesday and make it to the airport on time. All of these things are aggrevating my stomach lately. I need my vacation ASAP.

No Worries

Well, it's the first day of English summer camp. I'm sitting here with all of my copies made and packets assembled, just waiting for the students to arrive. Fast forward 3 hours, no students. This is the reality of my school. None of the 14 kids signed-up for summer camp bothered to come to camp today. This really is not a problem for me. It makes perfect sense though. They only get a month for vacation, and most of that time will actually be spent in school anyway (I don't know why they call it vacation). They also get no credit or recognition for coming to this voluntary camp. Is it any wonder that they don't want to be here? I don't think so. I certainly wouldn't be here if I didn't have to be. Once again, the underachieving students at Juksan Comprehensive High School have not disappointed me. On the bright side, this means that next week I won't have to worry about being rushed to get to the airport in time. I can take my time now.

English English Everywhere...

Yesterday was a holiday here in Korea. It was constitution day. I spent the day in Seoul, trapsing through Itaewon and Yongsan. Now, while perusing the giant electronics mall in Yongsan, which has over 2000 stores in about 6 different buildings... I came across a book section. There it was. "English for Dogs." It featured such great English phrases as "I think you stepped in your own poo" and the ever popular "you smell like rotten fish." What an amazing little book for the young English learner. Not to have cat lovers left out, there is also "English for Cats." Finally, Koreans can talk to their cats and dogs in English and be hilarious all at the same time.

Permanents

I feel like I've been in Korea long enough that I can say some things with certainty. Here is one of those things. Koreans should not do unnatural things to their hair, because it looks ridiculous. A student just walked into the office. A male student. He just permed his hair. He looks like an Asian little orphan Annie. I actually couldn't help but to laugh out loud when I saw it (bad Daniel, bad). By the way, perms here are not usually curly perms. They are some strange Korean type of perm where the hair just gets very big and angry.

When I take the bus home to Anseong, one of the stops is at a local technical college. The boys that get on the bus there have the most ridiculous hair I've ever seen. They have the largest and most out of control mullets and they have their hair bleached and dyed and generally looking very Bozo-ish. I simply don't understand how they think this is better than their normal hair.

If you ask Koreans about this, they will all give you the same answer. They will say that these kids haven't been in the military yet. Basically, when they come out of their compulsory military career they will stop being so foolish with their hair.

Maybe it's a foolish thing to me, but what makes it most entertaining is how incredibly serious everyone is here about their appearance. So, these people think that their hair looks incredible and that they are definitely the hight of coolness and fashion. It's their seriousness that makes it all extra comical. Oh, to be young and foolish again.

Engrish Fashion

This weekend I've seen two great Engrish t-shirts while walking around Korea. First, the new assistant at the Soda Star coffee shop that I go to. He was wearing a t-shirt that was printed to look like prison issue. It had a name tag printed on it that said "Martha's Bitch." I almost died laughing. I wasn't bold enough to ask for a picture, which I'm sure he would have been happy to pose for. Yesterday while walking around Insadong, I saw someone with a shirt that said "I'm too busy to fcuk." Wow. There are no words for the joys of Engrish.

My Bad

I just want to appologize for not having anything new or exciting to write about. All I'm doing now is trying to last until I get on the plane for the U.S. My school is not making this an easy time for me, and I'm in desparate need of vacation. I'm down to 12 days and counting. If anything exciting happens, I will definitely blog about it.

Busy In Class

I don't understand the reasoning behind this, but after my students finished their final exams, they had 11 days of school left. I dont' know exactly what you're supposed to do with these 11 days. There is no point in teaching because the brains have long ago checked out for the semester. So, to pass the time I'm showing a bootleg copy of "Shrek 3."

Every classroom has a big screen tv that you can hook-up to your computer. Well, half of them don't really work so well. I'm in class now and the cable that connects to the computer is broken. So, a student has hooked-up his personal movie player (looks like a PSP) to the television, and they're now watching a Japanese horror movie. What does this have to do with English? Nothing. Does it matter? Not really. They're happy and that's all that matters.

Preparations And Stress

As I'm approaching my vacation and my visit home, I am becoming a very busy guy and a very stressed out guy in addition.

The stress is all thanks to my school. The financial issues with my school and the lies taht they are telling me about funding are things that are very destressing to me. I would much rather be told that my school is asking me not to spend any money on camp. There is no harm that comes from telling the truth. Honesty is the best policy. However, in Korea it is not so. Controlling access to information is the best policy here. I'm doing my best not to let this affect me too much. Also trying hard not to take out my frustration on my students, their lives are hard enough.

In addition to my usual activities such as Korean class and school work, I am trying to get ready for my trip. I've been organizing and printing up photos from the year into a photo album to show everyone. That has proven to be a very time consuming activity, but I know it will be worth it. I'm also busy shopping for gifts for family and friends back home. It's a lot of work.

I did have some time to meet with friends and just relax. Over the weekend I got a chance to meet up with my friend Jude in Songtan for some more shopping and dinner. I also got to meet up with a new friend from South Africa who had been emailing me for a few months with questions about coming to Korea. He just arrived on wednesday and wanted some curry, so I directed him to a nice Indian restaurant in Songtan. So, it's not all work.

Anyway, this is all that is going on in my life now. Stress, work, preparations, and more stress. I can't wait for my vacation. I just hope I will have a little time to relax.

Funding

I was told yesterday that I would be teaching summer English camp. Not a big deal. Last year the students stopped coming after the first day. I asked about the budget for camp. Victoria is getting $1000 for her week long camp. My friend Brandon is getting $6000. My budget it $0. Yup, I can't spend a single won on my class. That really speaks volumes to me about how my school values it's English program. My friends have bottomless pits of funding for their program and I get lectured to if I want to order a ream of card stock. Thank God I'm leaving after this year.

The "C" Word

The art teacher, who sits next to me, is having computer problems. I asked her what is wrong. Her computer is very old. She said that the computer is "crazy." I said, "No, it's old, not crazy. Our students are crazy." She looked at me very seriously and said "Daniel, I like my students."

I don't know why this is, but Koreans think that the word "crazy" is really a very serious word, and they find it very offensive. I wonder what their textbooks teach them about this word. They need to loosten up and understand that we say "crazy" all the time and that we really don't mean insane.

It's All About The Fine Print

The "by-the-book" people at the province office are at it again. Yesterday my substitute co-teacher wanted to talk to me about reimbursing me for the plane ticket that I bought to go home. He said they would only pay 75% of the price, as per the province office. Oh, no no no no no. I reached over, got my contract out and pointed it out to him. The contract says nothing about any percentage. It says "free ticket." So, disheartened, the school is going to have to pay the full price for the ticket.

Today Mr. Yoo, my main co-teacher is telling me that the province office claims my vacation is too long and they are going to dock my pay. First, they are counting the day I leave, July 24, as a vacation day. My flight is at 8:50pm. I will be at school all day that day. So, they can just bite me. After understanding that, Mr. Yoo came back after talking to the province office to say that I'd still be getting back one day late. Out comes the contract again. I got 2 calendar weeks to visit home when I renewed my contract. No one is disputing that. However, on top of that 2 weeks, I also get my normal 14 work-day vacation for the year. That works out to 7 work-days in the summer, 7 in the winter. The contract clearly says that these 14 vacation days do not include saturdays and sundays, they are work-days only.

So, I'm taking my 2 week vacation, plus I'm taking 5 of my 7 days to visit the U.S. This gives me a grand total of 3 calendar weeks, which is how long I will be in the U.S. I still have 2 extra vacation days at my disposal. I need Mr. Yoo to understand this. I am also planning on taking those 2 last days of vacation, right when I get back. I return on a wednesday, and the semester begins on monday of the next week. So, I will probably take thursday and friday off to recoup from jet lag.

The big problem here is that my signed contract is apparently different than the blanket contract that the province office has. Mr. Yoo keeps saying "but the contract in the book says..." and I just cut him off and tell him "that doesn't matter. The signed contract is the legally binding document here, not the contract in the book at the province office." They simply don't put much stock in the signed contracts here. They will change them as they see fit. How annoying.

Co-human

Well, it's that time again. Final exams. That means one thing... I'm going to be "co-observing" students taking exams. Ok, I already know I'm not a real person here, but co-observing? What makes it even worse is that there are already mothers that come in to help observe the students to prevent cheating. So, there are 3 of us watching kids fale their exams. I'm such a vital cog in the educational machine that is Juksan Comprehensive High School.

I love that the more you watch teenagers, the more you realise that they are all the same, and all very boring. My last exam I had to co-observe, about 1o boys were finished in about 5 minutes. I was walking around, looked at their answer sheets, and they had every answer marked as "C." Yup. These are the kids I have to teach. I hope they enjoy pumping gas, because that is what I see in their future.

Finally

I discovered a newly opened hamburgber restaurant in my city here. Up to now, the only hamburgers available were from Lotteria or from BHC hamburgers. Both of these places covered their burgers in some disgusting black sauce. They also covered their miniscule burgers with loads of roasted peppers and other things that simply do not belong on a burger.

I went to this new hamburger joint yesterday. They have a big menu (by Korean standards) and serve lots of good looking burgers. Now, these are not exactly like U.S. burgers, but it's close enough and it's not covered in nasty sauce. Their burgers do have a fried egg on them, but that is also available at some burger places in the U.S., I know they have one like that at Red Robin. Anyway, it's pretty exciting to be able to get a burger in your own city.

Snacks Making Me Think About Culture

I'm sitting here in the office at school, and one of the secretaries bought in some snacks for the teachers. This is a very common practice. Lately, the snacks have consisted of watermelon, or oriental melons. This is great, since watermelons cost about $17 here. Today, the snack was steamed white potatoes. This is also very common. More common is a big bowl of steamed sweet potatoes, which are much more yellow than the orange U.S. variety. This has started to make me think about food here in Korea.

Korean cuisine is very simple and hearty. Lots of soups full of vegetables, lots of pork dishes, and lots of spicy stuff. Everything contains red pepper paste (gochujjang) so everything has a kind of red "DANGER" look about it. But, that is not what was making me think here.

There is no distinction in Korea between foods. Let me clarify. If the U.S. we have food that is traditionally breakfast food, i.e. bacon, eggs, cereals, pancakes, oatmeal. I mean, people eat these things at all times, but usually they are found only at breakfast. This is not the case in Korea. They use the same dishes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Breakfast here is often rice and kim-chi chiggae (spicy kim-chi soup with tofu). There is nothing in the cuisine that is considered "a breakfast food." They do not have labels like this. There are some traditional foods that are for specific holidays. Ddeok-guk, rice cake soup, is a traditional New Years dish, but it is also served everyday.

I wonder where this "all food for every meal" thing came from. I'm sure that it has to do with the fact that Korea for many years has known real hunger. When people are struggling to survive, you don't exclude food because it's just breakfast food. It's interesting to wonder about.
More interesting though, would be why we have separate breakfast foods in the West. Anyone have any ideas?

New Plans In Life

By far, the most annoying aspect of life in Korea has to be my inability to make decisions here. I don't know why it is that I have no objectivity here to use in my decision making. That being said, I've come to a new plan.

Now, for the last several months, I've believed that I would stay here in Korea, and pursue my MA in TEFL (teaching english as a foreign language). This would give me a highly employable degree and some real time teaching experience. However, my time here has shown me one major flaw in this plan. I am not entirely happy teaching English. It's just not where my passion lies. I've tried, and it's just not enough to make me completely happy.

So, at the end of my contract, in April, I will return to the U.S.A. I want to pursue my MA in Slavic Studies at Ohio State University, in Columbus, Ohio. So, when I return to the U.S. I'll be moving to Columbus, where I will live for a year to establish my residency. I will have to spend the year also getting my Russian skills back up to speed. That is the plan as of now.

Ultimately, I am going to follow my heart on this one. It means that I'll be giving up my life here where I make very good money and do not have to worry about finances. I'll be returning to the life of a poor student. However, I know that I will never regret this choice. In the end, Korea will always be here and they will always be hiring more native speakers of English to teach. So, I could always return if need be.

Games

Today, friday, is my most difficult day of the week. I have all of my classes back-to-back, and I have to teach the very worst class in the school. It's a very trying time of the week for me. So, to pass the time today more quickly, I decided to play a game.

The game today was Scattergories. Remember that game? You have a list of 12 categories and you chose a letter and write down words in those categories that begin with that letter. I made a spinner with the alphabet on it and ran of copies of a list for the students. They really got into playing the game in groups. Each group with the most responses received candy. I gave out a lot of candy today.

Speaking of games, the Rubik's cube is suddenly very popular here in my school. Today each class had about six different kids playing with them. I don't know what the sudden rush of popularity is all about, but they're distracting.

Bo-jee-mah!!!!

Friday night I was sitting outside the Soda Star waiting for a friend. A couple of very drunk men walked by. One was staring at me intensely, really burning into me. I stared back and said "bo-jee-mah!!!" It freaked him out. He kind of jumped back and went on his way. Bo-jee-mah means "stop staring at me."

Later, after my friend arrived, we were talking in the same spot. The drunk guy and his friend came back. I pointed them out to my friend. The guy, when he saw me, covered his eyes with his hands. My friend and I were laughing so hard. I guess he took it to heart, and didn't want to stare at me anymore.

All The Girls Hate Me

I am so sick and tired of looking at my female students during class. They're always applying make-up, lotion, powder... something to their faces. Or, their noses are pressed up against a mirror as they stare at their faces or fix their hair, or mess with pimples. I've had enough of it. I'm cracking down.

Friday, a girl was warned to put away the make-up. I always warn, I'm a softie that way. So, when she was applying powder next, I took away her compact. She wanted to know when she could get it back. I told her never. I took it home and threw it away. I did this at home so that the students wouldn't fish it out of the garbage here at school when they empty the trash.

Today, a girl was using a mirror in class. Now, this girl is always applying make-up or using a mirror, a horrible student. I took the mirror from her desktop and put it in her school bag. I told her not to bring it out again or I'd throw it out the window. Two minutes later, out it came. I calmly walked up to her, took the mirror and threw it out the second story window. CRASH! That's one less mirror I have to deal with. The class loved this. That girl did not.

Am I being harsh? I don't think so. They know the rules. They're breaking them. I give them a warning. It's their choice to not listen. If they won't give me respect and they don't care if they get hit... how about I hit them where it hurts? I know that cosmetics and mirrors will get pricey if you have to continually replace them.

I warned my last class about cosmetics and mirrors. One girl is going to cosmetology school. She told me that her make-up kit was expensive, $200. I told her I'd better not see her playing with it during class, I don't care how much it costs. I hope she understands.

Missed Calls

I don't know why exactly, but I'm receiving many strange messages lately on my Vonage phone, the one with the Michigan phone number. First was a call from Neil at the WalMart hiring center in South Carolina. Apparently, if I go back to the U.S. I could very easily have a job at WalMart. Today I received a message from Jesse wanting to know if it was too late to join the Megabook Club, which she could only join after finishing camp.

Jesse... I think you're too late for the book club.

WalMart... I think I'll have to pass.

Baby's Coming Home

This morning, I booked my flight for my visit home. For those of you who are interested in seeing me, I'll be in Michigan from wednesday, July 25 to wednesday, August 15. The ticket was quite pricey. $2,005.30. Thank God my school will reimburse me for this. I can't wait to see everyone.

Outrage

Today while teaching one of my senior classes, I saw that one of the boys had a big bandage on his arm, running from the elbow down to the wrist. I stopped to ask him what he'd done. He told me, and seemed to be rather proud of himself, that he was drunk and got in an accident on his motorbike. I was shocked. He was proud of himself. It wasn't a big deal. Just a daily thing in his life. My co-teacher wasn't shocked or even really concerned. I yelled at him and told him not to do that again. I let him know that if he were in America that he would be in jail right now. Apparently it is illegal in South Korea, drunk driving, but there are absolutely no police out on the streets, so it goes unenforced. I am so shocked and disgusted by this. It's no wonder that the traffic accident rate is the highest in Korea. When will my kids learn? Getting smashed does not make you an adult or a man.

Saturday Night

On Saturday, I was invited to Brandon's for dinner. I'd never been to his apartment, so it was a nice treat to say the least. First of all, his apartment is very nice. It's in the big high-rise apartment buildings that most Koreans live in. He has separate rooms, not like me, two large rooms, a big kitchen, and balcony, and bathroom. His apartment is also newly renovated, with him being the first new occupant. So, that's nice too.

Brandon also invited an artist couple that he knows. He teaches their children, and became friends with this man and his wife. They travel all over the world working. Listening to their stories were great. His living in Italy, the U.S., Austria, Costa Rica... everywhere. It must be an incredible life.

Dinner was grand. Brandon made a wonderful chicken curry, from scratch. I was incredibly impressed. I can't cook anything.

Talking to the artist couple, they started to think that I don't like Korea. This is my fault. I realise that when I talk about Korea and tell stories, I talk mostly about negative things that have happened to me. Let's face it, it's more interesting to talk about people grabbing me on the street and staring at me then it is to talk about a student that was polite. However, in telling these "interesting" stories, I give the impression that everything here sucks. The truth is that if I hated it here, I wouldn't be here. The money wouldn't be worth my misery. So, I will have to be a bit more careful when I talk to strangers about my Korean experience. I'll need to pepper my stories with the positive aspects too.

On a side note, I learned how to say "stop staring at me" in Korean. I can't wait to use it. It is definitely a useful phrase to know.

Meetings

It's monday morning. That means one thing, Korean teachers' meeting. Like clockwork, the office manager uses a microphone and says something in Korean. You stand up and face the flag. Next thing he says means that you put your hand over your heart and salute the flag for about five seconds. Next word means you're finished. Then he says something else which means "sit down and say hello to your neighbors." After I sit down and say "annyeonghasseyho" to no one in particular, I get out my mp3 player and start listening to music and chatting online.

This is the form that the Korean teachers' meeting takes. Different important teachers from each department stand up one-by-one and report on what is going on. I mean, this is what I assume is going on, since it's in Korean, and not translated for me. There is no discussion of anything, just reporting.

Looking around the office, I think that the other teachers are about as involved as I am. I see the teachers surfing the net, writing email, or trying to stay awake. I'm glad to see that they're as bored as I am. I just view this time as my mp3 and chatting time or my time to cut out things that I've laminated. Oh, the daily grind of the Korean teachers. Every monday... at least it's a nice and easy way to slide into the work week.

Korean Treats

Periodically in school, we recieve treats from parents, former students, or other teachers. Generally the treats take the form of little bottles of "juice" that are very healthy for you... but generally taste like evil. After drinking onion juice, I no longer drink these things. There is a vitamin C drink that I'll drink, but that's it. Sometimes the treats themselves are things that I'm really not crazy for. Some of these include things like traditional rice cakes, which are little colorful balls of goo... they're very pretty, but taste like nothing or simply taste bad. Some of them I like, but some of them are just not for me. When I'm given these little "treats," more often than not, I give them to some passing student. The student is so shocked that I'm giving them these amazing treats. They're so thankful. It's nice. It gets rid of the "treats" for me, and gives the students a nice little lift to their day.

Gross

Oh my God, I just witnessed the most disgusting thing ever. I was teaching a freshman class, supposedly one of the smart classes. I looked up and one boy student was biting the nails of another boy student. Yes, he was clipping his nails for him with his mouth. They did it so nonchalantly. I just stood there, stunned, and let them know how disgusting that was. The younger kids here really lack basic manners and don't understand how to behave. By the way, I was not over-reacting. Mr. Yoo was also disgusted by the whole thing.

What Does A Korean Picnic Look Like?

Yesterday, wednesday, the seniors in my school, myself included, went on a picnic to Nami island. The island is over 2 hours away. It's a small island in a river somewhere in the neighboring provence. It is just a 5 minute ferry ride away. The island is a bit odd. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. Part of it looks like the folk village. Part of it is a big sculpture park. The other part is just strange. Apparently it is a very popular destination for young people in love and honeymooners. Here are some shots of my students and me enjoying the day.Here are all of the classes lined up at the school getting ready to go on the bus.This was on the ferry to the island. The girls facing the camera tells me that she loves me and that I'm cute... everyday. She works at the local fast food joint in town. She's very sweet, but not a good student, just like most of my kids.

On the island there was an osterich wandering around. The people were just coming up to it and running away from it when it got too close. They were tormenting it. Now, I've always been told, and seen on t.v., that osteriches are not very nice animals. So, I was just waiting for someone to get bit. Later in the day I saw the osterich run through the main area... followed by a gang of children chasing it with rolled up posters as weapons. Crazy kids. On the way out of the park, I saw a kid with an osterich feather. I think the osterich lost.

They train the trees to look like this. Strange.This is not a space ship. It's actually a honeymoon cabin on the river. Anyway, it may blast off, so stand back.

Okay, on the bus ride back, the t.v. in the front was converted to a karaoke machine. Oh my God. It was so loud! There were flashing disco lights, and the microphone had so much reverb. It was a bit torturous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVho0scjE8A

That was my day out with the seniors. It was a nice day to be outside and walking around. Of course, like everything else in Korea, it was very strange at the same time.

Vultures

The other day I brought in a roll cake to school for the teachers. I've learned that Koreans love to eat more than anything else in the world. I've also learned that when I go grocery shopping, every few weeks to pick-up something to take to school and share. The teachers love it when I do this, and they really seem to appreciate me more when I'm a team player. Usually I bring in some Korean rice snacks. I buy them on the street. They look like rice-crispie squares, but they are not nearly as sweet. They taste kind of like "sugar smacks" but less sweet. I've also brought in oranges. Well, this day I'd been to a bakery to buy some bread so I bought a roll cake too. The cake is like a jelly roll, but filled with some kind of cream. I don't never, I never had any of it. When I set it down on the conference table in the middle of the teachers' office, the thin, polite, dainty women in the office decended upon the cake as if they were vultures or death row inmates having their last meal. This cake didn't last two minutes before it was gone. It was gone by the time I wrote one quick email. I've never seen a frenzy like it... except for on the Discovery Channel during Shark Week.

Greatness

My co-teacher, the one who confided in me, she and I get along quite well. On the day that she confided in me and we really had a serious talk together, we went to lunch, as usual. While eating lunch, she told me "You are a great person... " I felt so touched and special, then she continued. "but you'd be a greater person if you lost weight." Yup. Because inner beauty and personality and strength all depend upon your outside appearance. It didn't really bother me, since I'm used to this kind of back-handed compliment here in Korea... but I just don't quite understand the mental process that occurs when they say something like this. Maybe the answer will be found in my learning Korean. Why do they always have to make an observation and include a physically disparaging comment as well? It's a mystery. Ah Korea... land of the back-handed compliment.

Substitute

Today one of my new co-teachers told me that she is taking a 3-month leave of absence. I knew the reason behind this. She had opened up to me the other week about her son suffering from depression and seeing a psychiatrist. It had really touched me that she had opened up so much about this. To admit to some problems at home in Korea is HUGE beyond belief. But, she also knew that I worked in mental health in the USA, so she was looking for some reassurance. When she told me this morning that she was taking a leave, I told her that her son needs to be her number one priority right now. So, she was glad that I was so cordial about it.

Now, the guy who is going to be her substitute. Where to start? First, he did not introduce himself to me, which I think is just such an incredibly rude thing to do! Second, he is very young. He just graduated last year. He has not taked his English exams yet to become a full fledged teacher. He has substitute taught for 2 months, that's it! He is about to be thrown to the lion's den that is Juksan Comprehensive High School. He has no idea what he's in for! God bless him. Also, from speaking to him a bit, his English is not good. I don't believe that he'd be able to pass his spoken English exam to become a teacher. Maybe I can help him to become more confident with his English. It is going to be an interesting few months.

Happiness In A Bottle

While I was at the air base the other day, Dini (whose husband is retired military) gave me a bag of some things she'd bought for me at the base store. It was two bottles of mop and glow. I was so excited! You simply can't believe how ecstatic I was to get these bottles of mop and glow. So, this weekend, I spent my free time cleaning my apartment and waxing my floors. They are so shiny now! It makes me so happy to have clean and shiny floors now. I know, I'm a total dork... but you live in Korea for a year with yucky looking floors and then see how geeked you get over some mop and glow.

Are You Stupid?

After my stomach problems of last week, I found myself sitting at school and thinking. Now, my plan had been to stay in Korea for several years, and to ultimately get my master's degree while working here. That would take 5-6 years total for me. However, sitting here and thinking it suddenly hit me. Am I stupid or what? I don't know if PHYSICALLY I could stay here for such a long time. I mean, with the periodic painful stomach problems that I have, I'm really concerned that this could develop, over time, into something severe. I'm worried about getting an ulcer or worse. The cuisine of Korea is just too corrosive to my system.

So, I've begun to think about this being my last year in Korea. I will spend my time searching other countries for jobs. The only prerequisite for me now is that the cuisine of my new country is not based exclusively on peppers. I ignored the cuisine issues before coming to Korea and it has proven to be a huge deal. Living in a country and simply not eating the food there really isn't an option in the long run. It's doable on a one week vacation, but not if you're living there full time.

Now, all of this could change. If my stomach somehow makes a surprising turnaround, then I may stay in Korea as planned. But, although the pay here is great, it is not worth my health becoming abyssmal.

More Appreciation

Tuesday, on our day off for Teacher Appreciation Day, I went to Songtan to meet a friend for lunch, and to hang-out before our visit to the air base to enjoy surf & turf. I had such a wonderful day out. I ate some passable Italian food (which is about as good as it gets in Korea) with my friend Jude. We walked around town, had coffee, visited the black markets. It was a very relaxing kind of day.

Later that afternoon, we all gathered outside of the air base. There were quite a few of us. Victoria, Jude, myself, Edith (who has just left Korea), Tjaart (a South African from my town), Anna (an Oregonian), and Beverly (a Canadian from my town). We all went on the base to enjoy steak and lobster. Victoria had two lobsters! Having lived in Main, she really missed lobster. It was my first time having it, and it was ok, but I think I prefer crab more.

Well, the evening was perfect. We all had a great time. I hope we get to all go out again like that in the future.

The next day at school, there was another gift on my desk. This time, instead of a three-pack of glucosamine, I received a 3-bottle box of cooking oil. I'm just glad it wasn't a big box of spam.

Happy Teacher Appreciation Day!

Tomorrow is teacher appreciation day in Korea. Now, in the U.S.A. teachers get a whole week... but I'll take what I can get. I do get the day off, so that is amazingly good. Well, today I came into work and there was a gift on my desk, all wrapped up in shiny mylar wrapping paper. It was a gift from the students' parents. I was startled to open it and find a box set of glucosamine. Now, for those of you who don't know, glucosamine is a drug that is good for your joints. It's usually taken by arthritic people. Everyone received this gift. I began to think, in America, if you were given glucosamine, you'd get offended and say "What makes you think I need this? I'm not an old man yet!" But here, it's just a normal gift. Interesting. Cultural differences at work again.

My Poor Tummy

I woke-up at 3am this morning with stomach pain. Not again. Yup, same as usual. I was up until 7am vomitting and just being in pain. I called in and was able to nap until noon-ish. I went to the doctor and got the same dosage of meds that I've always gotten. I have no idea if this medication works, but I take it anyway. They did include these 15 packets of goo that I have to drink. It's really disgusting. The frustrating thing about this is that it just attacks me whenever, and for no reason. At least it's been about 3 months since it happened last. I'll feel better in a few days.

Mr. Sandman

Tuesday I finally received my CPAP in the mail. It was a Korean miracle! On the bus ride home I fully read the instruction book (I'm like that). I was so anxious to get to sleep when I got home. The good thing is that this machine was quite easy for me to get used to. It starts with a very low level of air blowing into your nose (you get used to it) until you fall asleep, then it delivers the pressure that is needed to keep you alive. I only woke up twice during the night.

The next morning, I woke-up wihtout a headache, which was great. I was also more rested. During the day I was feeling more awake. I'm not 100% better, but after a week or so of using it and getting used to it, I'm sure I'll really see the difference.

No, I will not model any of my sleep gear for those of you who wanted to see (you know who you are). But this is what I got. You can use your imagination. By the way, the machine is only the size of two vcr tapes. Pretty small compared to the older ones.

And The Bureaucracy Rolls On

Well, my CPAP machine (for sleep apnea) arrived in only 3 days. The bad news is that it has been stuck in Korean customs since wednesday morning. First the problem was that they couldn't reach me (because my phone number is a US number given by the company). Then, they needed customs duty. Then they found out it was medical equipment and wanted the prescription. I was at school, and did not have my prescription with me. Mr. Yoo called the hostpital to get a copy, and they wouldn't fax him a copy of it. So, friday morning I brought everything in, and it was faxed immediately.

It wasn't delivered.

Today, monday, it was delivered to my apartment, and no one was there, so they didn't deliver it. Now, they were told the week before to deliver it to the school, and they simply ignored this. For some reason they couldn't get it to my school today, which is just 20 minutes away from my apartment... so, I must wait another day.

Korean bureaucracy keeps rolling on. I mean, sure, I could die in my sleep, and I wake up every morning with a severe migraine due to the apnea, and it's super hard on my heart... but the Korean customs office needs to stamp some papers. That is the problem, Koreans love rubber stamping things so much that they just make more red tape. Stamping makes them feel super powerful.

Frustration.

Korean Language Class

Saturday was my first trip to the Korean language institute. It took much longer to get there than I thought it would. It takes an hour to get to Seoul to the express bus terminal. Then, it took an additional hour on the subway to get to the institute. It was a bit exhausting, and Victoria and I were 20 minutes late. Next week we will be on time.

The institute is quite nice, with many classes running at one time. Our class has only 3 students in it, which is a blessing really. Besides Victoria and I, there is a young guy named Jimmy (I think that's his name). We are all teachers, he's been here just a couple of months, still in the honeymoon stage of his life here. Our teacher was a nice young Korean woman who spoke absolutely perfect English. The lesson was entirely over the alphabet, reading simple syllables, and pronunciation. This was all review for me, but helped to clear up some of the very close vowels.

I think this class is going to be such a great thing for me. I really can't wait until next saturday for our next class.

New Toy

This week, I ordered a new toy off of the internet. It's an iRiver D26. That is an electronic dictionary. It is the top of the line here in Korea. It is really meant for Koreans learning English and Japanese. It has the normal Korea-English, English-Korean dictionaries. It also has Korean-Korean, and English-Enlgish. There's an English usage dictionary, English idioms.

As if that isn't enough, it also serves as a PDA, keeping your calendar and address book and all of that. It also serves as an Ebook reader, and an electronic photo album. It even has an mp3 player.

My favorite function is something called "brain vitamin." You pick the mood you're in, and it will play the appropriate soothing elevator type music. Pretty interesting.

The machine is all in Korean, but most of it is easy to understand. The good news is that the support software for it is in English, so I had no trouble loading my music onto the device.

It may be an extravagant purchase, but it has already come in very handy.

No Smoking

This week I have taken over the role of anti-smoking police at my school. I'm currently showing some videos to my students (as a nice break from their midterm stress). I like to use the library to show the movies, because there is a big screen and projector and surround sound. All it's missing is the popcorn. The library is only accessible by going outside.

On monday and tuesday, I caught kids smoking out there, behind two outbuildings and right next to the school. Well, the kids see me, know they're busted. I grab them by the arm and take them to a Korean teacher to have them deal with the students. Now, I caught two students smoking out there twice each. One student I caught between first and second period, and then again between second and third period! I looked at him that second time and said "Could you be any stupider?" Well, my co-teacher informed the homeroom teacher about the kids. I'm really not seeing anything being done about it.

So, I've taken it upon myself, when I'm down in the library, to stand out there between classes. The students just look at me through the windows, waiting to see when I leave so they can smoke. I stay there until they're in their next class. I feel so deliciously evil when I do this to them. Also, when I see the offending students, I say "Hello smoker." The other students pick on them for this. I figure, maybe they'll stop if they get tired of being ridiculed by their peers.