Korean Cuisine

What is there to say about Korean cuisine? First off, Koreans are not afraid of hot peppers. The food is so hot that it makes you sweat and curse the day you were born and developed taste buds. This is not the bland diet that white people of German decent are used to eating in Michigan. The food is so hot that Korean women must lactate tobasco sauce when nursing.

Second, fill up on the rice. This is the safest and most identifiable section of the meal. The rice here, particularly in Anseong as they are known for growing this variety, is very sticky and clumpy. Lends itself to chopstick eating easily. Rice is the least scary bit of the meal.

Everything else on your plate is to accompany the rice. Rice IS what's for dinner, lunch, and breakfast. Generally there is some kind of vegetable stir-fry type dish that is hotter than the 7th circle of hell. Soup that ranges from water with some strange aftertaste to a thicker soup that is hotter than molten lava.

Lastly, that oh so Korean of dishes. The dish that signifies Korean cuisine for the world. Kim-chi. For those of you who don't know, kim-chi is served at every meal. It is made from any kind of fermented vegetables with cabbage and pepper paste. It is hot. It is sour. It is ice cold. It was based on a dare. No one would freely eat this unless it was a dare. It is so bad. I have no adjectives to describe it. I enjoy fermented food. I do. I'll eat saurkraut. I enjoy kapusta. Or pickled veggies, pickled okra. This is simply the work of the devil. If the devil had a test kitchen and tried to cook up some evil or despair... he would make kim-chi.

And, for those who want to know, Koreans eat every meal with one long spoon and chopsticks. You never drink at the meal. Also, the best thing of all. The cafeteria at my school does not serve dog meat. That makes me so happy.

To recap. Korean cuisine: hot. Rice: sticky. Kim-chi: evil on a plate.