Shave And A Haircut

Brandon emailed me early last week. He told me that he'd cut his hair, and really messed it up. He wanted me to fix it, since I cut my own hair here. No problem.

Brandon finally came over on Friday. When he bent down to take off his shoes at the door, I was shocked. He had cut his hair down to the skin at the crown of his head. The back of his head had straight lines across it that were also down to the skin. It looked like terraced mountain rice paddies on his head!

Brandon explained to me that he was indeed drunk when he had decided to cut his hair. I have never been so drunk that I would have for one millisecond entertained the idea that I would cut my own hair. That is a process that you want to be sober for.

Anyway, I did my best to fix Brandon's hair. Basically all I could do was even it out, but he was still bald in key places. I told him to get a yarmulkah and wear that for a week. The really bad thing is that he has a female guest coming to visit him on monday. I told him several stories that he could tell her about the hair. How about "I lost a bet." I think "I got it cut at the beauty college" is always a safe option. I hope the hair won't keep him from having a nice visit with his friend.

I Spoke Too Soon

I spoke too soon. Today I had 3 students show-up for English camp. It's funny. I was sitting at my desk in the office. Camp runs from 2-4. A student came up to me at 2:15. "Teacher, we have class now." I thought to myself, "we had class yesterday too... but where were you?" Oh well. I'm just showing "The Incredibles" and talking about superheroes and the video. It's nothing too exciting. I'm just doing my best to make it until tuesday and make it to the airport on time. All of these things are aggrevating my stomach lately. I need my vacation ASAP.

No Worries

Well, it's the first day of English summer camp. I'm sitting here with all of my copies made and packets assembled, just waiting for the students to arrive. Fast forward 3 hours, no students. This is the reality of my school. None of the 14 kids signed-up for summer camp bothered to come to camp today. This really is not a problem for me. It makes perfect sense though. They only get a month for vacation, and most of that time will actually be spent in school anyway (I don't know why they call it vacation). They also get no credit or recognition for coming to this voluntary camp. Is it any wonder that they don't want to be here? I don't think so. I certainly wouldn't be here if I didn't have to be. Once again, the underachieving students at Juksan Comprehensive High School have not disappointed me. On the bright side, this means that next week I won't have to worry about being rushed to get to the airport in time. I can take my time now.

English English Everywhere...

Yesterday was a holiday here in Korea. It was constitution day. I spent the day in Seoul, trapsing through Itaewon and Yongsan. Now, while perusing the giant electronics mall in Yongsan, which has over 2000 stores in about 6 different buildings... I came across a book section. There it was. "English for Dogs." It featured such great English phrases as "I think you stepped in your own poo" and the ever popular "you smell like rotten fish." What an amazing little book for the young English learner. Not to have cat lovers left out, there is also "English for Cats." Finally, Koreans can talk to their cats and dogs in English and be hilarious all at the same time.

Permanents

I feel like I've been in Korea long enough that I can say some things with certainty. Here is one of those things. Koreans should not do unnatural things to their hair, because it looks ridiculous. A student just walked into the office. A male student. He just permed his hair. He looks like an Asian little orphan Annie. I actually couldn't help but to laugh out loud when I saw it (bad Daniel, bad). By the way, perms here are not usually curly perms. They are some strange Korean type of perm where the hair just gets very big and angry.

When I take the bus home to Anseong, one of the stops is at a local technical college. The boys that get on the bus there have the most ridiculous hair I've ever seen. They have the largest and most out of control mullets and they have their hair bleached and dyed and generally looking very Bozo-ish. I simply don't understand how they think this is better than their normal hair.

If you ask Koreans about this, they will all give you the same answer. They will say that these kids haven't been in the military yet. Basically, when they come out of their compulsory military career they will stop being so foolish with their hair.

Maybe it's a foolish thing to me, but what makes it most entertaining is how incredibly serious everyone is here about their appearance. So, these people think that their hair looks incredible and that they are definitely the hight of coolness and fashion. It's their seriousness that makes it all extra comical. Oh, to be young and foolish again.

Engrish Fashion

This weekend I've seen two great Engrish t-shirts while walking around Korea. First, the new assistant at the Soda Star coffee shop that I go to. He was wearing a t-shirt that was printed to look like prison issue. It had a name tag printed on it that said "Martha's Bitch." I almost died laughing. I wasn't bold enough to ask for a picture, which I'm sure he would have been happy to pose for. Yesterday while walking around Insadong, I saw someone with a shirt that said "I'm too busy to fcuk." Wow. There are no words for the joys of Engrish.

My Bad

I just want to appologize for not having anything new or exciting to write about. All I'm doing now is trying to last until I get on the plane for the U.S. My school is not making this an easy time for me, and I'm in desparate need of vacation. I'm down to 12 days and counting. If anything exciting happens, I will definitely blog about it.

Busy In Class

I don't understand the reasoning behind this, but after my students finished their final exams, they had 11 days of school left. I dont' know exactly what you're supposed to do with these 11 days. There is no point in teaching because the brains have long ago checked out for the semester. So, to pass the time I'm showing a bootleg copy of "Shrek 3."

Every classroom has a big screen tv that you can hook-up to your computer. Well, half of them don't really work so well. I'm in class now and the cable that connects to the computer is broken. So, a student has hooked-up his personal movie player (looks like a PSP) to the television, and they're now watching a Japanese horror movie. What does this have to do with English? Nothing. Does it matter? Not really. They're happy and that's all that matters.

Preparations And Stress

As I'm approaching my vacation and my visit home, I am becoming a very busy guy and a very stressed out guy in addition.

The stress is all thanks to my school. The financial issues with my school and the lies taht they are telling me about funding are things that are very destressing to me. I would much rather be told that my school is asking me not to spend any money on camp. There is no harm that comes from telling the truth. Honesty is the best policy. However, in Korea it is not so. Controlling access to information is the best policy here. I'm doing my best not to let this affect me too much. Also trying hard not to take out my frustration on my students, their lives are hard enough.

In addition to my usual activities such as Korean class and school work, I am trying to get ready for my trip. I've been organizing and printing up photos from the year into a photo album to show everyone. That has proven to be a very time consuming activity, but I know it will be worth it. I'm also busy shopping for gifts for family and friends back home. It's a lot of work.

I did have some time to meet with friends and just relax. Over the weekend I got a chance to meet up with my friend Jude in Songtan for some more shopping and dinner. I also got to meet up with a new friend from South Africa who had been emailing me for a few months with questions about coming to Korea. He just arrived on wednesday and wanted some curry, so I directed him to a nice Indian restaurant in Songtan. So, it's not all work.

Anyway, this is all that is going on in my life now. Stress, work, preparations, and more stress. I can't wait for my vacation. I just hope I will have a little time to relax.

Funding

I was told yesterday that I would be teaching summer English camp. Not a big deal. Last year the students stopped coming after the first day. I asked about the budget for camp. Victoria is getting $1000 for her week long camp. My friend Brandon is getting $6000. My budget it $0. Yup, I can't spend a single won on my class. That really speaks volumes to me about how my school values it's English program. My friends have bottomless pits of funding for their program and I get lectured to if I want to order a ream of card stock. Thank God I'm leaving after this year.