Inevitably there comes a time in everyone who is living abroad's life when they are racked with the feelings of guilt. Guilt for missing birthdays and holidays, guilt for missing special events. I am truly racked with guilt... the guilt of the good son.
A couple of weeks ago my father was in a car accident. He was rearended when going to lunch. He smacked the back of his head on the headrest and had to go to the hospital. He was transferred to Ann Arbor. He had a serious concussion. This is a major thing. My father does not remember 3 days of his life. And now, he has serious memory problems. He forgets where he is going and what he did just the day before. He went to see his specialist and he has a minor brain injury that will take up to a year or more to heal and he has severe whiplash. He now has physical therapy for his neck and shoulders, speech therapy and memory therapy (that is what the speech therapy is part of).
I am the good son. I'm the one that drives my mom back and forth (she is legally blind) to the hospital when dad hurts himself. I'm the one that takes dad to his surgery and doctor appointments. I am sitting here in Korea and there is absolutely nothing I can do to help. Part of me wants to come home to help my dad, and part of me just wants to finish my contract. My parents want me to stay here, but I feel so helpless and guilty. I know that my dad has to sit at home all day because he won't risk driving somewhere and forgetting where he is going. I'm conflicted. Most of all, I'm just hurting for my parents.
1 comment:
Sorry about your dad Dan. Sounds like he really hit his head hard there. It's a scary thing when someone loses their memory and stuff like that.
But try not to feel guilty...you had nothing to do with it, it wasn't your fault. You ARE a good son doing exactly what you're doing right now. But it's hard not to feel all angsty and helpless when you're thousands of miles away. Dealing with parent frailties is a difficult thing....
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