Did You See The Festival?

This is our cities little mascot. He's all over the place. He's on our signs. He's on the pillars of the bridges. He's on trucks He's so cute. Kinda makes you want to vomit a little bit. Here he is rendered in flowers.




So, now onto the festival itself. The festival in my city was quite wonderful actually. First off, there were teams of dancers from Thailand, China, Australia, Bulgaria, and South Africa. These people did traditional dancing. I saw the Bulgarians twice. They were amazing. They also brought their own band, with some incredibly insane accordian and clarinet playing. There is no way that I could play that fast for such a long period of time.
The Korean things at the festival included tight-rope walking, plate spinning, dancing, music, etc. It was pretty amazing that there were so many things for the kids to try. They could even try tight-rope walking.


The festival also had plenty of food, traditional things including the silk worms (remember those?). There were also vendors selling all kinds of things, including randomly some eggs that were in a wicker kind of holder. I don't know what the deal was with that. There were also these great painted logs for the kids to put their faces through and get their pictures taken.

Okay. Now, this blog is funny and sarcastic, but it is also a strange kind of anthropologic record of Korea. So, it would be wrong of me, in a scientific way, to not include this strange tidbit that I observed at the festival. There was a booth with a large wooden phallus. The phallus had water coming out of the tip. People were holding a cup uner the mighty phallic stream and drinking it's bounty. I don't know what this is about. I'm too embarassed to ask. But, here is the proof that I'm not drunk. I didn't want to show this, but it's for scientific posterity.

Oh My God...

At the parade for the festival in my town I got my first glimpse. That a little too Korean of foods... bundaeghi... silk worm larvae. Now, the appearance is bad enough. There are apparently 2 varieties... I don't want to know what the difference is. The worst part however is the smell. Oh my God... I cannot describe how awful the smell is. You can smell this dish from quite a difference. To quote my mother, it could knock a buzzard off of a shit wagon at 30 paces.

Before The Parade Passes By

My little city of Anseong held it's annual Namsadang Baudeogi Festival this last week. Namsadang is a traditional theatre troupe here in Anseong, which is famous for producing this kind of entertainment. Baudeogi was born to a poor family and left with the Anseong Namsadang troupe when she was 5 years old. She was so good that the troupe became known as Baudeogi.

Anyway, enough history. The festifal began wednesday, September 27th, with a parade which lasted for over 2 hours. I was lucky enough to see the parade from the very beginning. A Korean parade is not exactly the same thing as an American parade.

Superfluous

I'm the low man on the totem pole. I love this phrase. It's so colorful, invoking humor and nostalgia and reminding us of the wonderful Native American influence in America. However, it's very true. I am the low man on the totem pole... I'm so incredibly unimportant.

Yesterday exam schedules were handed out. The schedules list teachers and what classes they are observing during exams. My name is on the chart. Under my name are the class numbers. My column had an extra Korean syllable attached, it said "bu."

What the heck is "bu?" I asked another teacher. It means "co-."

I am co-observing classes. Co-observing. That makes me feel so emasculated and unimportant. I'm redundant. I'm as useless as tits on a man. I'm more unnecessary than an understudy for a chorus girl. I feel so pathetic.

Violet Beauregard Was Right All Along

If I live the rest of my life in Korea I will NEVER get used to one thing. No, it's not the food, it's not the constant staring, and it's not the hundreds of Asian people... it's the spitting.

Spitting must be the national past-time of Korea. You thought it was Taekwondo? Nope. Spitting. People think nothing of just hocking up a big chunk of phlegm and letting it go anywhere. Students spit on the floors of the school (the floors they have to mop at the end of the day, makes no sense to me). Old ladies spit on the streets and sidewalks. Teachers spit in to the sink located very close to my desk. All day long, it's a never-ending cacophany of spit and phlegm and mucus and other such nasties.

This begs two questions. One: Why is spitting so incredibly socially accepted in Korea? And two: Why do Koreans have such vast amounts of spitting to do? I have absolutely no idea why spitting isn't shunned as something dirty and private in Korea. Maybe in the U.S., being a country founded by Puritan prudes, we are just overly sensitive to such matters. Everything that comes out of our bodies is deemed dirty and semi-shameful. We cover our coughs, hide our nose blowing, and do everything else behind closed doors. Maybe the Koreans have a different level of freedom than we do.

And the other question, what is up with all of the spitting? Now, there are days, maybe weeks that I go without having to spit. I'm not counting the little spit after brushing your teeth, but serious "manly" spitting. Why are Koreans needing to spit so frequently? Is it the food? There is a persistent rumor that Asians in general are prone to being lactose intolerant. Maybe this spitting has to do with the vast amounts of dairy products here and a high frequency of lactose intolerance. I don't think that this is the real issue. I have no clue why the Korean spit producing glands and tissues are in overdrive here. Maybe it's all of the kim-chi.

So, my life is accompanied by a soundtrack of spitting. Violet Beauregard, in Willy Wonka, was right when she said while picking her nose "spitting is a disgusting habit." How prophetic. Maybe she was referring to Korea.

It's Not Easy Being Enlightened

Well, ever since climbing that mountain in Seosan and visiting the Buddhist temple Gaeshim-sa, I have been living an enlightened life (smerk). With this new-found enlightenment comes certain responsibilities. One is my responsibility to nature and life. I've already honored this by adopting Min Ji. I am so karmically good with the universe right now.

In all seriousness though, I've become sick of my ignorance of Korean language. It's time to put those damned books to use. So, today, I came to school prepared. I have a small notebook that I bought in Seoul. It is a daily vocabulary notebook. There are spots for 4 words a day, and their definitions. The notebook is written in, and propped up on my desk for me to look at all day long. My four words today are: breakfast, lunch, dinner, and tea. I've also brought in my special notebook for writing Korean, it consists of small squares, so you can get used to writing in syllable blocks. I've also got my two Korean books here. I think that the one I bought in the U.S.A. will be more useful right now. The one I bought in Korea is just not doing anything for me.

So, with my free time this morning, I am beginning my push forward into the dark void of my ignorance. Apparently you only need 150 words to converse in Korean. I'm trying to get there. I can't continue to be the stupid American who doesn't speak the language. Dammit, I'm a linguist (kind of) so I should WANT to learn the language. Come hell or high water, that is what I will do. Grrrr.

Making Peace With The Devil

If you look way way back in my blog, to one of my first entries, I outline my feelings on Korean food. There is an entire paragraph devoted to that staple dish of Korea. The one dish that is present at every meal. No, not the rice. I'm speaking of the one Korean dish that foreigners have heard of... kim-chi.

To refresh your memory, kim-chi is a fermented veggie dish. It is made generally from cabbage, but is also made from daikon radish or cucumber. It contains things like garlic and lots and lots of peppers and pepper paste. It is spicy. It is so sour. It is ice cold. And, it is present at EVERY SINGLE MEAL in Korea. I thank God everyday that boendaegi (silk worm larvae) isn't the national dish. I hear that it smells bad and has the consistency of soggy peanuts.

Anyway, I have to say that after months of saying no, that I now say yes. I eat the dreaded kim-chi. Everyday at lunch. Do I like it? No. Why do I eat it? I don't know. It's my own little form of penance. It is my offering to the gods of Korean cultural assimilation. Sometimes I am rewarded with actually good kim-chi, but most often I am not. Oh well. C'est la vie. When in Anseong, do as the Anseongians do.

Oh, The Horror

The other day I took Min Ji for a walk, in her sweatshirt, to visit Victoria and Kim Chi (who has bronchitis now, the dog that is). We walked by the Super English School, which is a hagwon (private after-school academy). I know the teacher here, an Aussie named Marlina.

Well, the kids were out front before class, they were petting the dog. "How old is she?" "Is it a boy or a girl?" "What's her name?" I answered Min Ji. Well, a middle-school aged girl stood up slowly, with a look of horror on her face. She pointed to herself and in a sad sad voice she said "But MY name is Min Ji." Awwww... she's named after a dog. I don't think she will recover soon. I also don't think that her friends at the hagwon will let her forget either.

No Longer Willing

When I first came to Korea I ate most things at lunch. I did not eat the kim-chi, but everything else I ate, or tried. I did this to satisfy my own curiosity and desire to "fit in" and because if you have an empty spot on your tray then ALL of the other teachers have to know what is going on.

Flash forward 2 food poisonings and 5 months (God, can you believe that it's been that long?). I don't feel the need to explore or please anymore. Now at lunch time, if the food scares me, I don't take it. Today, I didn't take 2 of the dishes that were on the menu. I had gotten sick from both of them before, so I'm not tempting fate again. I don't like going to the hospital and getting shots in my backside. So, for lunch today I had rice, kim-chi, and kim-chi soup with tofu. I'll survive.

Still, even though all of the teachers know of my dietary and stomach issues, I have to justify everyday why I didn't want some dish. My favorite was when I told someone that I had gotten sick on this particular dish and did not want it anymore. Her reply was "but it has cheese in it." Oh. Ok. Cheese... well then I guess I'll eat it! NO!! I'm a 28 year old man. I can make my own food decisions. Also, I'm a giant of a man, I'm not exactly starving. I simply don't sugar coat it anymore or try to please the other teachers. I know that they are concerned, but what Korean food enters into my body is my business alone. I'm the one who will suffer if I make a bad choice... not them. Korean food. What can I say that hasn't been said?

Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child

Korean students. Don't let the stereotype of Asian students throw you. My kids are just as bad if not worse than their U.S. counterparts. Let me give you an example.

On monday I started to teach the song "If I Had a Million Dollars" by The Barenaked Ladies. The song is easy and very repetitive. I thought they would enjoy this. I found a great video of the song on youtube.com. I printed out the lyrics and made a picture vocabulary sheet to define the strange new things in the song. I even brought in a box of macaroni and cheese (since the song mentions Kraft dinner).

Well, the class monday did not have a working TV in their room, so we used a computer room. They came in and I said "do not touch the computers, don't touch anything, just sit down." So, naturally, half of the computers were turned on. Students did not listen to anything that I did. They would not stop talking, they would not leave the computers alone, they would not do a simple "repeat after me."

That's it. I'm done working to prepare things that they will enjoy. Korean students shit all over everything that you plan. So, I will do nothing but book work from now on. I get paid the same if I'm a boring teacher as if I'm a good and exciting teacher. I'm done with candy, games, puzzles, movies, music, and videos. There is no sense in me using my time and money to help them when they just ruin it and don't care. So, this is what Korean students are really like. Now I know why they get hit so much by the teachers. Where's my kid-hitting-stick?

If They Only Knew

English is very popular. Let me rephrase that... English writing is very popular. It's on all shirts here. It does not matter what it says, as long as it's English. English music is very popular as well. No one knows what is being said, but popular nonetheless.

The other day I was in my local mom & pop grocery store, just to pick up some milk and things. The music playing in the store was that old 2 Live Crew song... "Heyyyy We Want Some Pussy." Wow. Did they have any clue? Is this music appropriate to shop by?

Another English teacher I met told me about a young kid she saw. The child was middle school aged, wearing an English t-shirt that said "I'm too drunk to fuck." Now, why would this be printed on a tiny little t-shirt for a child?

When you see these things it makes you stop and shake your head. It's the worst of English culture and it's all over the place. Aren't you proud?

Chilly Mornings

Well, the first morning walk at 6am with Min Ji was nice, but it was chilly. She was shaking quite a bit since she has no fur at all. So today I had to do something I've never thought I'd have to do. I bought her a doggie sweatshirt. It seems to do the job, and it covers up her rat-like nakedness.

She won't look at the camera. Here she is in mid head shake.

And here is a new picture of Kim Chi after she has filled out and grown some hair. She needs a grooming. Notice how good she poses for pictures.

The New Lady In My Life

Last night, after school, I went to the animal shelter again. I did it. I have a dog. I don't know if I'm crazy or what. She's a maltese, and I named her Min Ji. Min Ji is a Korean name meaning "great cleverness," so I'm hoping that she lives up to the name. When I first saw the dog she was covered in long fur, when I picked her up, they had shaved her down. So, I will show you some pics of the dog, but remember she's had a very bad haircut. Don't pass judgement for another couple of months. Min Ji does stand up and beg for food, clearly a sign of her past owner. Why bother to teach a dog tricks if you're going to get rid of it? I don't understand it. So, here she is... Min Ji.

Tongue Twister Challenge From Hell

What is up with Japanese game shows? I don't understand them, but they're fun to observe from very very very very far away. How about this clip of a tonguetwister challenge. You do not want to be on the losing end of this battle.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers...

http://www.glumbert.com/media/tonguetwister

UPDATE: this is not a tongue twister. The Japanese teacher looked at it and said that it is a speed reading competition. They are reading about squid. The guys are her favorite comedian/gag men.

Companionship

I'm lonely. I have very good friends in Korea, but I miss having someone in my house. So, I'm seriously toying with the idea of getting a dog. I know that this might be a bit of a hassle, but it worked out well for Victoria. So, yesterday I went to the animal shelter to see what they have.

It's kind of strange. They show you a picture of the dog off of the computer, but they don't show you the actual dog. I'm sure they'll show you any dog in person, but it's kind of interesting.

Now, because Victoria is a great friend and I am with her and her dog all of the time, I would get a female, so that there is no chance for my dog and Victoria's dog to contribute to the abundance of dogs in Korea. I'm also going to have to get a small dog, the kind that can be carried around in a small bag/carrier. This might be a birthday gift to myself. Also, since I plan on traveling and teaching, I want a dog I can take with me.

Oh, the shelter won't give me a dog unless I promise to take it with me to the U.S.A. They don't want to get the dog back in 6 months, I'm sure that's a huge problem. So, the next few days/weeks will show wether or not I get a dog. It would be nice to have something to come home to. Then comes the pressure of a name.

You Want Me To Eat What?

On thursday, I was informed that we (the teachers) were going out to dinner (not a choice). The parents of our students took us out. I have to admit that our parents at our school are really great. They bring the teachers things all of the time. Usually it's fresh fruit, sometimes it's gim-bap (sushi rolls, but all cooked, nothing raw), dinner, drinks, all kinds of things. The other times we went out to eat it was to Korean barbeque. This time, I was informed that we were going out for pig's feet. Excuse me?

We arrived at the restaurant. Korean restaurants serve one thing, and that's it. So, we sat down at the table (on the floor). I figured that at the very worst, I could simply eat side dishes and avoid the main course. However, on the table was nothing but the meat. The only other things on the table were condiments for the pig's feet. Lettuce to wrap it in, kim-chi, some pepper sauce, little brine shrimp, and radish. There was a variety of the meat, cold and hot.

I did my part, I ate 3 pieces of the meat, one cold and two hot. It was the saltiest and fattiest piece of meat that I have ever eaten. After the three I stopped eating. The other teachers were concerned, I said that I was fine. I simply began drinking... thank God for soju!

Later in the meal, one of the teachers ordered me some rice and bean sprouts. I was glad for the rice and sprouts, but other things came with it. Soup, which I normally like, but it was just filled with floating slices of jalapeno-like peppers, I couldn't eat it because it was so hot. There was also lotus root merinated in something which was too much for me to eat, and little baby crabs covered in red pepper paste. I told the other teachers to please help themselves. The crabs were raw and you eat the ENTIRE thing, shell and all.

This was a crazy night out. It wasn't horrible, it was just different. I was fine with the little food I did have, and I enjoyed the company of my fellow teachers. On the other hand... I won't be going out for pig's feet again.

God Bless The U.S. Military

Today Victoria and I went off to the U.S. Airforce base at Pyeongtaek. Victoria has her veteran's card, and we were going to go to the post office, lunch at Chili's, and try to get into the BX to do some shopping. We got to the base and ran into some people from the new teacher orientation (remember, where I was food poisoned???).

Dini and James were presenters at orientation, and they remembered me (I'm hard to forget). We mentioned what we were doing there, and when we mentioned lunch at Chili's they told us that we were at the wrong base. We needed to go to the Osan base, located in Songtan. They gave us a ride.

Victoria found out that she couldn't get onto the base. Annoying. Dini got us into the base with her card (her husband James is a retired military guy). Anyway, they took us around the base. I was able to mail some packages home at a nice cheap price. We did some shopping at a convenience store, where we were able to buy great U.S. products. These included pepto bismol, nyquil, bologna, nachos, salsa, whoppers (the candy), corned beef hash, taco fixins. A total coup.

Dini and James took us to a free lunch held by the Veteran's support people. So, for lunch we didn't have Chili's. Instead we had New York strip steak, real salad with real dressing, corn bread, baked potatoe, sour cream, and chocolate cake. For free! This was the biggest piece of beef that I've seen in Korea. They do this every saturday!

Dini and James were a great help to us. They live only one town away, and have offered to help us out with anything that we need, including more trips to the base. On top of everything, they're super nice people. James is a tall and big guy, so he knows where I can get shoes and clothes and things. So, it's good to have connections that have been here for 5 years. A great day.

A Thing Of Beauty

I am in Korea, a land of beauty. From the beauty of the mountains, to the beautiful national flower, the Rose of Sharon. From the traditional dress of Korea, the hanbok, to the beauty of a vibrant green rice paddy.

Nothing has been more beautiful to me than this.
A big pot of good ole' American Kraft mac n' cheese. Mmmmm... nothing spells loving to me like this, the ultimate comfort food. This has made my week and made my day... quite possibly my whole year. So, take it in. A thing of beauty.

The Mundane

I have gotten several emails. "Why haven't you posted anything new?" Well, the answer is simple. My life is boring.

This week I have been busy with the mundane and boring existence of an English teacher. I make copies, teach classes, take students' cell phones, host detention. The usual. My life is surprisingly dull and monotonous.

I am now periodically losing my voice. I believe it to be a combination of the air conditioning, the fans blowing on me, and the constant loud talking I have to do. The life of an English teacher here is a bit strenuous on the vocal cords. I'm always speaking slowly and loudly. The students never entirely shut-up, so I'm always talking over someone. Since my life here is as a human tape recording, I'm constantly talking. Doing this all day leaves my voice very hoarse and my throat sore.

The only exciting thing to report this week is that I have mastered the origami crane. I have made many many cranes. Victoria wants them to hang in her classroom. The legend is that if you make 1000 cranes that your wish will come true. I'm well on my way to 1000. I've made 79 cranes so far.

You Want Me To Drink Out Of What?

My school supplies the office with little paper cups for water and tea and coffee. They are slightly larger than dixie cups.

The cups feature various things on them. Sometimes they have zodiac signs on them, although I always get Taurus (maybe we only get Taurus cups). Sometimes they have two numbers on them, temperatures, one red and one blue. I'm guessing the best or safest temperatures for hot and cold beverages?

Now, my all time favorite cup is the series that features various stretches you can perform during the work day. There is one showing how to stretch your neck, loostening up the shoulders and such. The best cup shows a back stretch. I know it's for a back stretch. I know this. However, when I look at it all I can think of is "Is this a kama sutra cup?" I guess my mind is in the gutter, but it looks incredibly suggestive to me. What do you think?

Baby Steps

This is origami central baby. Every Korean student knows what they're doing in this paper-folding art. I'm so ignorant.

While I was at a stationary store, I took my first step in origami literacy. I bought a pack of origami paper. Maybe one day I will be able to make cranes. But since I'm all thumbs (being a bassoonist that plays an instrument with 13 thumb keys, this is literally the truth) I'm not sure if that will be possible.

Yesterday after school, I finally pulled out the paper. I made my very first origami. I made a little paper box. I put altoids in it and gave it to my co-teacher. She was happy to see that I had finished the box.

Also, yesterday, I was able to spell two Korean words on my own in Korean correctly. This is quite a feat if I do say so myself. Mr. Yoo told me the name of a market in Seoul, and I spelled it in Hangul (Korean alphabet) and it was correct. In class I translated the work hagwan into English, and I wrote hagwan underneath it in Korean. Both were correct.

It's happening people. I'm getting more Asian by the day. First there's the bowing, then the chopsticks, then the Korean alphabet, now there's the origami. Next thing you know I will be into anime and Hello Kitty.

A New First

Tonight I ordered pizza from Dominoe's by myself. No one was home to help me, so I did it myself. I'm such a Bohemian. It was not an easy task and it was very daunting. Now I can accomplish anything.

Guilt

Inevitably there comes a time in everyone who is living abroad's life when they are racked with the feelings of guilt. Guilt for missing birthdays and holidays, guilt for missing special events. I am truly racked with guilt... the guilt of the good son.

A couple of weeks ago my father was in a car accident. He was rearended when going to lunch. He smacked the back of his head on the headrest and had to go to the hospital. He was transferred to Ann Arbor. He had a serious concussion. This is a major thing. My father does not remember 3 days of his life. And now, he has serious memory problems. He forgets where he is going and what he did just the day before. He went to see his specialist and he has a minor brain injury that will take up to a year or more to heal and he has severe whiplash. He now has physical therapy for his neck and shoulders, speech therapy and memory therapy (that is what the speech therapy is part of).

I am the good son. I'm the one that drives my mom back and forth (she is legally blind) to the hospital when dad hurts himself. I'm the one that takes dad to his surgery and doctor appointments. I am sitting here in Korea and there is absolutely nothing I can do to help. Part of me wants to come home to help my dad, and part of me just wants to finish my contract. My parents want me to stay here, but I feel so helpless and guilty. I know that my dad has to sit at home all day because he won't risk driving somewhere and forgetting where he is going. I'm conflicted. Most of all, I'm just hurting for my parents.

T.G.I.F.

I am so incredibly happy that it is Friday. This first week back with students has been so trying and frustrating and exhausting. Where to start?

Well, the yellow card/red card thing works well... to an extent. I gave out red cards the first two days, no more red cards were given this week. However, none of the students showed up for their detentions. I had Mr. Yoo talk to the homeroom teachers, then 1 student showed up out of 4. Then another 2 students were given red cards and didn't show up. Now, today a student is coming after school. I'm pissed that the homeroom teachers aren't putting the fear of God into these kids. Why should I be the only teacher without credibility? I think that the word has gotten around though about how horrible it is to write these sentences. I'm hoping that regardless of wether the homeroom teachers make the students follow through (I will make them follow through when I see the kids next) that the rest of the students will know that I mean business.

Also this week I have a new co-teacher, since Ms. Lee is gone on maternity leave (she had a boy). My new co-teacher speaks perfect English, she spent some time (a very short time) in L.A. So, I've had a new co-teacher to get used to, which is always interesting.

My schedule was also rearrainged since another co-teacher went on a business trip. This gave me 6 classes in one day, which is a lot. I swear to God and Buddha and Allah and Moses that I thought I would die. It was a day filled with bad classes and bad attitudes and my exhaustion. I made it through the day, and went home. From standing so much and teaching, my feet and calves kept cramping up all night and into the next morning. I also was losing my voice.

So, I've reached Friday alive, barely. I need the weekend more than the students do. I never thought I would have such a rough first week back.

Play Time Is Over

Monday was the beginning of school. Vacation was over. I took this opportunity to start anew. Everyone has a clean slate and a fresh start. Play time is over.

Since discipline is horrible in my school, I have taken it upon my self to lead the crusade. This started a few months back with my taking of the cell phones. This was only step one.

I created yellow and red cards. They are laminated. When a student is bad, I lay a yellow card on their desk. I do this with some flourish, so that the entire class knows who is getting the yellow card. This is a warning. Your behavior is inappropriate and needs to stop. If the behavior continues, they get the red card. This is the card of doom. Their ass is grass and I'm the lawn mower.

With the red card, they have to come and see me at 5 o'clock when school is over. They have to sit down next to me, and write sentences IN ENGLISH. Now, they hate English, and writing it is the worst. So, it's a good punishment I think. However, the sentences they are writing are uplifting things with the Korean translation there. So they will be writing "I am a person of worth." Maybe this will make them "wake up."

Today I gave out 4 red cards, 3 in just one class. So, I'm hoping that tomorrow, the kids will report back about how they had to write all of these sentences and how horrible it was. If not, I have more red cards.

Enlightenment

On Tuesday, I went on a short 3 hour bus trip to the seaside town of Seosan. I went with the intention of vising the sea. However, the trip took a more interesting turn. I ended up climbing a mountain and visting a Buddhist temple.

After buying a local ticket at Seosan, Victoria and I waited for an hour for the bus to show. No such luck. With our hopes dwindling, I made the bold suggestion. "Wanna go halvsies on a cab?" Best suggestion ever.

The cab took us over to another town. Then we turned off of the road. We traveled back, around a small lake, through the mountains, for about 3 miles or so. It was a beautiful drive. When we got to our destination we had a picnic lunch that we had brought. Delightful.

We foolishly imagined that we were close to the temple. We were mistaken. The temple lay at the top of the mountain. We had hundreds of decaying stone steps to climb. The steps went on forever, and I thought I was going to die.
We finally made it to the top. We were both sweating so much, it was like a joke. We sat on a stone slab trying to catch our breath. Koreans were staring at us. Victoria said "Mommy, is that what white people look like when they're dyeing?"
The climb was worth it. The temple was beautiful. It had painted panels surrounding the building showing scenes of daily life. They were incredibly detailed and beautifl.
The shrine was incredibly beautiful, with a golden Buddha surrounded by large statues of other holy people. I burned some incense to Buddha. Afterward, I sensed a change. I am such an elightened holy boy now. Sitting in Korea living my Bohemian lifestyle, spending time at my favorite coffe shop, being freakin' enlightened. Wow. Korea changes people... but then again... nah, I'm still the same sarcastic boy I was before.

Stupid Is As Supid Does

In Korea we see it all over the place. English that is used to for "coolness" on clothes that makes no sense. Here is a website devoted to just that. Mainly bad English from Japan. It has made me laugh out loud several times. http://www.engrish.com.

Touring In Style

On Sunday, I was in Seoul with Victoria (no surprise) and we decided to take the Seoul City Tour Bus. I was able to use my tour book and figure out the subway enough to get us to the beginning of the tour route. Now, I'm from Michigan... not a big public transportation state (thank you Big 3), so I'm not used to reading subway maps or bus schedules. So, just doing this was a tremendous coup.

The bus ride took a total of 2 hours. It stopped at lots of places. Now, you can buy a day ticket for $10 and tour the city. Get out anywhere you want, and get on when the next bus stops by, a very cool thing. The bus also had headphones with audio commentary about the places you see in English, Korean, Chinese, Japanese, and French. I chose English.

The main government building was covered in a shroud. Check it out... very cool.

The only stop we made was to see Deoksugung Palace. Every palace in Korea looks the same. It's kind of disappointing. More disappointing is that you can't enter any of them, and there is nothing in them to see anyway. So, you see the throne room, but it's empty. What's the point?

When we arrived, they were re-enacting a changing of the guards. Note that the Palace is conveniently located across the street from Dunkin Donuts. Those Emperors thought of everything.

Here is the gate to enter teh Palace. It's very big, very impressive. It looks like everything I saw at the Folk Village and at the War Museum and everywhere else in Korea. It's very beautiful though.

Here's some nice shots of the Palace. A statue, the throne room, just some nice exterior stuff. Like I said, very beautiful.

I'm A Superstar

While shopping at the express bus terminal in Seoul (great bookstore, McDonald's, department store, and Outback Steakhouse) Victoria decided to get her nails done. I left her there and went to the bookstore. I bought Spank the Monkey. I would have bought every one there, but it was $18 for a card game, so it wasn't in the budget. Anyway, on the way out, a man grabbed me by the arm and pointed to Victoria.

So, here's the story. The nail place just painted nails, didn't do fake nails. So, Victoria was going to go into the bookstore. However, she had a coke from McDonald's. The store security guy wouldn't let her in. So, she asked him to find me, her friend. He said "big guy?" and mimed my size. She said "Yes. He famous sumo wrestler in America." The security guards eyes got wide and he responded "OOohhhhh..." and was star struck. Victoria found the situation incredily amusing, as did I.

So, the key to me getting respect is to claim to be a sumo wrestler. No autographs please, Yokozuna Youngs needs to rest.