A New Camera

Friday after school I purchased a new digital camera. It was on sale, marked down $140, it cost me a total of $205. It's awesome. So, expect to see a lot more pics on my blog. It also takes video, so I will have some interesting stuff to show you when I get back home.

Anyone want to try this green cereal? Just let me know, I'll bring you a box.

A Special Day For Me

Yesterday, thrusday the 15th was my 8th week in Korea. My two month anniversay. I am now 1/6 of the way through my one year stint in Korea. It has been a rough two months, but things are getting better, some students are actually improving.

I've come to this conclusion. The students that want to study English are getting better. The students on the fence, maybe some of them are coming over to the good side. The students that done care and don't want to learn English still don't care. They sit there and don't absorb anything. Maybe passively they will learn something.

So, I try to keep things interresting and up-beat. Maybe with my new friends and the new routine I'm in, things will fly by.

Come On Over For Dinner... I'll Cook

Last sunday, Victoria called me and invited me to dinner. It was so nice to be invited somewhere and have someone cook for you that I decided to return the favor. This sunday, I will be having Victoria and the new English teacher Beryl over for dinner. This is a bit trickier than you might think.

First off, I have no oven. No Korean's have ovens. So, I have to cook everything on two burners or with my microwave. So, this limits the menu a bit.

Second, I have one wok pan and one small pot. That is all I have to cook with. So, that also limits a bit what I can prepare.

So, last night I went out to the local dish and pot store and bought some plates and things, since I only have 2 plates, 2 bowls, 2 cups, and 2 sets of chopsticks and spoons. I decided to buy service for 4, since I'll probably entertain in the future, I didn't mind spending a reasonable amount of money of these things. Plus, if I'm really fond of them, I can ship them home. So, I picked out 4 dinner plates, 4 small plates, a wisk, a big spoon, and a large serving bowl. Now, if the woman had been working, it would have been cheap. A man was working. He charged me $51.50!!!! I still have to buy glasses, soju glasses, and more chopsticks. I am definitely looking at another store first, and only shopping there again when the woman is working. Damned Koreans charging the obvious foreign devil more. It's not fair.

Now, the menu is still being thought out, but this is what I have planned so far. For appetizers thee will be cheese and sausage and crackers, probably some fruit too. Maybe some fresh cucumbers and tomatoes. For dessert I'm going to make rice pudding. Now, for the main event. I will be making Russian cotlety, which is ground beef mixed with milk-soaked bread. It's made into patties, breaded and fried. It's a cross betwen a hamburger and meatloaf. It's good. Then I will be making some steamed veggies. And the be all and end all... garlic mashed potatoes.

The potatoes will be the trickiest bit. First off, I have no oven in which to roast the garlic. After scouring the web, I found out that I can roast garlic in a microwave (thank God). Next, I have no masher. I am going to really cook those potatoes until they're soft and use my big wisk on them. Hopefully that will work. I know the potatoes will be lumpy, but hopefully they'll be good.

To drink, of course, there will be some soju and this other alcohol that is very good. I have no idea what it's called, but I recognize it in the store. I will also have some soda and tea.

So that is my menu as it stands. This is going to be quite a production. If you can make it, just let me know, I'll buy another plate.

Go Korea!!!!

With the students bouncing off of the walls due to World Cup madness right now, I'm trying to use it to my advantage. We've been talking about the games. Korea played Togo, and I had no idea where that was. So, I showed my class the video "Yakko's World" in which Yakko Warner names the countries of the world.

http://media.putfile.com/Yakkos-World11

I printed out the lyrics and gave them to the class. Of course, what is the saying? Never work with children or animals. I think that should be "never rely upon technology." Students hooked the laptop up to the big tv, and there was no internet cord. That cord didn't reach across the room. So, they unhooked the laptop from the tv, brought it to the other end of the room, downloaded the video, brought it back and hooked it up to the tv. Great.

No sound. The shound cable had a short in it. So they were fidgeting with the cord. Deleted the video. Had to go and download it again.

This went on for about 20 minutes. Other tech people were called. Eventually we got it to work. I say we, but I didn't touch a thing. I showed the video 3 times, we even tried to sing the first verse, with only a few really trying. The kids liked it. It was quite a success. I'm hoping to not have these problems in the next room.

Footloose

So, if anyone is following the world cup (I'm not) then you'll know about Korea and their brand of cheering. Everyone in Korea is obsessed with the world cup, they're playing Togo tonight at 11pm, so my kids will be exhausted tomorrow. That makes me sad. Back to the cheering. Koreans have an invented line dance called the Vertex Dance. It was made up by some tv star and everyone knows it. We were taught the dance at new teacher orientation. So, if you want to cheer in style you need to watch this video. Check out the link, and follow along. You can all do it at my "welcome back to the USA" party.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7956944475472776087

The guy in the white jacket is so the expert at this dance. I wish I were that cool.

Korean Lottery

The only way to win it is to be in it. That's what the albeit cheezy saying is. So, it must be true. Now, I'm not one to ACTUALLY play the lottery, the one where you win money and become instantly happy and rich. But I do partake in another form of the "lottery." Cafeteria lunch.

Everyday is like a lottery here. I wait in line with my fingers crossed. "Come on good lunch. Daddy needs a new pair of chopsticks. Come on good lunch." Today I lost this daily lottery. Today it was squid soup. This makes my tummy sad. I ate squid yesterday. It's not my favorite, but it was in a sauce and paired up with pork, so I ate both together, no problem. Today the soup absolutely tasted of squid and there was no other flavor. So, I avoided it.

Squid here is different than you get back home. Back home it's calamari style. Breaded deep-fried goodness. It's not my favorite, but I'll have some. Here, the squid is cut into little strips, sometimes with suction cups, sometimes without. It's an odd kind of white and purple color, it's not chewy though. It's too much. I avoid the squid.

According to the menu, tomorrow is a squid-free day. So, my chances at this daily lottery are much better. Things are looking up.

What's The Korean For Monsoon?

Friday, at the end of the day Mr. Yoo informed me that all of the teachers were going to dinner. This was in celebration of my "show class" from monday. This was news to me. I had to call Victoria to cancel our dinner plans. This complete lack of forewarning for EVERYTHING in Korea is so annoying.

We went to a Korean barbecue restaurant. That's where they give you raw meat and you grill it at your table. You wrap the meat in lettuce leaves with some sprouts and eat. It's good, it's not spicy. The only drawback is the sitting on the floor. I did start drinking soju with some of the teachers. Now, soju is THE Korean drink. I'm fairly certain that "soju" is Korean for "rubbing alcohol." But I lived in Russia for a month, I can hold my liquor.

While we were at the restaurant it started to rain. This was a rain of biblical proportions. It was hailing. It was nasty weather. After dinner and numerous bottles of soju, Mr. Yoo took me home. I was feeling no pain. I came home to see that all of my windows were open and there was about an inch of standing water on my floor.

Great. Because I'm so prepared to deal with this, because I have so many things to clean up with. I had one mop, which was more of a dust mop, and my towel. Well, the best I could do was spread the water out in hopes that it would facilitate evaporation.

The water was not gone until late saturday afternoon. It rained all day saturday. I went out, met Victoria. I had to buy a big golf umbrella. $5. It was from the Omar Shariff collection. Who knew that Omar Shariff has a line of clothing and accessories??? Certainly not me. Anyway, this was the beginning of the 6 week long rainy season. I'm prepared now. I close the windows when I leave and I have Omar Shariff to keep me dry. Come on Korea... do your worst.

The Fiasco Is Over With

After weeks of trying and hair pulling and brain tumor growing effort, I have transferred money to the United States of America. YIPPEEEEEEEEEE.

Bank of America's website was giving me cancer from the stress. So, I phoned Niki at the company that brought me here. She suggested CitiBank, since it's everywhere. Well, Mr. Yoo called CitiBank in Seoul. They couldn't help me. I had to call the U.S. branch.

Well, I just went online, opened an account in no time. Next day went to Nonghyup, my bank in Korea, and transferred 1,000,000 Korean Won, and that's that. It only cost me $15 in fees, so I'm happy about that. The exchange rate was pretty good, I ended up sending $1,041 home. I would have sent more, but I'm a bit weary of that phone bill that is due. Don't want to be left high and dry, especially since I only get paid once a month.

So, now I'm just waiting a few days for the transfer to post to my account. I'm so freakin' happy and relieved right now. God willing, it will be so much smoother from now on.

Look At The Dumb Waygook!!

Today I was eating lunch. I was very hungry, and the lunch was pretty good. So, I was happily eating. A new substitute teacher whom I don't know was sitting across from me. She looked at me and then said something to Ms. Lee. I asked what it was, she wanted to know if the food was too hot, too spicy. I said no, she seemed surprised.

Okay, this is my new theory. Koreans do not actually like spicy food. It's a big conspiracy. I think they just like to look at the dumb waygooks (foreigners) as their tongues hang out of their mouthes and they gasp for air and water because of the spice. I think they just like to see us make fools of ourselves. "Ha ha, look, they think the food is too hot. Stupid waygook."

This is my new theory. The Koreans endure culinary torture just for a chuckle at the foreigner's expense.

Mixin' It Up With The Folk

After the rousing success of the "authentic" demo lesson on monday, and the subsiquent lunch afterward where I got down to some serious drinking, we had a holiday yesterday (tuesday) due to Korean Memorial Day.

For memorial day, I went to the Korean Folk Village. I went with a man that reads my blog, a Korean, who wants to show me around Korea when he has free time. He's a univeristy professor, teaches pathology, did research in the U.S. for three years at the N.I.H. So, his English is very good. It was nice to have a native person show you around.

The Korean Folk Village is a lot like Greenfield Village, only much older. You walk around a large sprawling area, looking at farm houses and mansions from long ago. People are in native dress doing their native things, like weaving silk or carving wood. It was very interresting, although, all of the houses looked the same so I found myself saying "did I see this one already?"

They have lots of shows at the Village too. We saw an acrobatic horseback riding exhibit. I think they call it rozenback riding. It was entertaining.

I think that my favorite aspect of the Village is that there is a nice river running through the park, so there are lots and lots of beautiful old gazebos along the river. It's the perfect place to stop, rest, and have lunch. There are also nice boats to take on the river, and several old style bridges. One bridge was just a half-log, looked a bit too treacherous for me. I especially liked the stepping-stone bridge that acted as a damn. You had to be careful where you stepped so you don't slip.

The thing that is amazing here is that there are no guard rails, no hand rails. In the U.S. anything remotely dangerous is roped off so the place doesn't get sued. Nope. Not in Korea. They just post a sign saying "be careful, don't die" and that's it. But, it was nice to see everything without the safety bars and unobstructed.

So, next time you're in Young-In, check out the Korean Folk Village. Don't forget to pick up a handmade fan or wittled chopsticks.

I Feel Completely Out Of Proportion

Korean's do not normally eat with "western" cutlery. Very rarely do you see a knife, fork, and a spoon (they do use a long handled spoon when eating). So, when you see one of these objects it's kind of jarring, like the first time I ate rice here with a fork, it felt so dirty, so wrong.

Whenever I get "western" cutlery here, it's of munchkin stature. When you get a fork, it's like a tiny shrimp fork. Everything is the size of those ice cream tasting spoons at Baskin Robbins. I feel like Will Ferrill in "Elf."

Today a teacher brought in yogurt cups for everyone, the spoons were so small. I felt like a real jack ass eating yogurt with a tiny tiny tasting spoon. It took me ages to get through the yogurt. Now, when I come back to the U.S. and hold a normal fork I'm going to say "Have you seen the forks??? They're ginormous!!!"

The Other Other Red Meat

I'm a little down today. On the way into school I noticed for the first time a restaurant with the word "DOG" written on it. Yikes, I know where to go for a hearty dog feast. The thing that bummed me out was the big cage out front with the sad looking German Shephard in it. Now, I understand this whole dog thing. There are dogs for pets, and there are dogs for food. The two lines don't cross. This is no different than a young kid on a farm raising a cow for the fair or being close to a pig (Wilbur). I know this, I understand this. I still can't think about it though. It's not cultural insensitivity, it's my sweet sweet puppy Lucy. She looks at me with her big brown eyes and they're so full of love... that doesn't make me want to eat her with a side of rice. Know what I mean? So, I'm a bit blue today for the poor German Shephard, who wasn't treated kindly in life, and was raised just to be killed and eaten... probably with some spicy sauce.

An Evening Out

On the way home friday, Mr. Yoo received a phone call from his wife. She wanted us to all go out to dinner. Okay. It was unexpected, but I was glad. I was kind of tired, but still up for going out. I did a quick mental check: I was wearing clean socks, so if I had to take my shoes off and sit on the floor I was good to go. This, by the way, is not a strange thing to think, but a major thing indeed.

We went to a restaurant that was part of an art glass shop/museum/thing. It was very nice, and quite fancy. I felt a bit out of place. I really felt bad though because they ordered for me, and ordered me a VERY expensive steak. I'm pretty sure it was a filet mignon. I don't like people spending that kind of money on me. It makes me nervous and guilty.

The dinner was nice. Mr. Yoo's wife was very nice, a beautiful woman who teaches elementary school. Her students are very bad too, so we had lots in common. Their two boys were with us, the oldest was 10 (or 8), and then the othe was 8 (or 6), I really can't remember their ages. They were cute, and well behaved. They both just got over nasty colds that sent them to the doctors. So, when Mr. Yoo had his kids shake my hand I subtley used hand sanitizer (they were coughing and phlegmy).

It was a really nice evening. They want to take me to pizza next time. They're a very cute couple and really adore eachother. It was nice to see. Hopefully we'll go out again soon.

Hey, That's My Magnet!!!

So, I sit at a cubicle all day, it's a short cubicle, about a foot and a half of a wall above the desk, so you can see across the room. I rather like it. The cubicles are metal covered with fabric, so you need to use magnets to put anything up. On tuesday I finally remembered to go to the stationary store and get some magnets. I bought 8 little magnets, blue plastic, quite fetching (I also got a telescoping pointer to wake up those sleeping students with).

Today I came in, sat down, I have 7 magnets. Now, I did not drop a magnet, it wasn't knocked off. Someone has pilferred one of my magnets!!!! I'm a good guy. I will share, no problem. You need a magnet? Sure, take one. But one should ask, don't you think? I'm shocked that someone took a magnet and didn't ask me. That's stealing. If you ask permission then it's sharing. See the difference. I feel so violated. Now I want to hide my magnets in the drawer. Will I ever stop feeling victimized? Will I ever be whole again?

Not All Is Going As Planned

Today my co-teacher and I "practiced" our class that is going to be observed with the actual class we have to teach on monday. So, it's a completely artificial class, nothing factual at all. The students have to pretend like they've never heard this stuff before. Strange.

First of all, the co-teacher took my cell phone basket and had a student collect ALL cell phones. I was only going to take the ones I see being used. I have to admit, that was the best part of class. The kids put their phones in the basket, no problem. Who knew it was that easy? Certainly not I.

We did our little "show teaching," we used the big screen monitors, we used power point, we had a script and everything. I thought the class went really good, no problems. Of course, a few students didn't pay attention and kind of ruined the phony good vibe, or to speak in theatrical terms, they broke the 4th wall. My co-teacher even had two girls stand in the back of the room for speaking too much Korean!!!! I almost dropped dead from this. Why can't we do this when we normally teach?

I talked to the co-teacher after class and said I thought it went very well. She's worried. She's concerned about the students who didn't pay attention and ruined it. I told her not to worry, that even in the very best class a few students will not pay attention. I think it's more important that the "observer" sees us doing something with them, like making them stand at the back of the class, then just letting it continue. That's more important than all of the students acting like children of the corn. I don't know if this helped her or not. Oh well, I'm not worried. If it goes bad they can deport me for all I care, I'm so indifferent to being here that it couldn't bother me any less. I think monday will go fine though.

I Have The Money... Honest

I was paid last week. I have $2000 sitting in my bank account here at Nonghyup bank in Korea. I have no way in hell of paying my bills that are past due in the good ole' United States. It's becoming quite a headache.

So here's the deal. I can't pay my bills using Nonghyup's website. Okay. I can't use my creditor's websites to take money out of my Nonghyup bank account. Okay. I need to transfer the money into my bank at home, and then pay my bills. Great. One problem. My bank at home will not accept international money transfers. Yup. I wish I could pay my bills, but I just can't get the money to you.

So, to work around this problem I am trying to open an online savings account with Bank of America. I can transfer the money to them, pay my bills, and we all live in peace and harmony. The native Americans' call is maze. There's a problem with my application. Maybe this is due to the fact that I have a Bank of America credit card that wants payment. I don't know. I'm supposed to CALL the bank back home and find out what the issue is. Yeah, I have to call Bank of America on my dime from Korea to see what the hold up is. They apparently can't email me. You ever call this bank before? The phone call will literally cost me $20 and 5 years off of my life.

I had no idea before I left the U.S. that this would be such a pain in the bum. I had no idea that my bank wouldn't just take the money. They're a bank. Take the money. That's what banks do. Take the money. Why won't they just take the money? And in the mean time, the creditors are getting more and more mad at me. Oh well, c'est la vie.

Oh My God!!!!

My co-teacher wants to take me to the doctor tomorrow to have a camera shoved down my throat and into my stomach. I'm not too happy about this new request. I'm not too fond of the doctor, and this sounds very unpleasant. She's being very insistent upon this. Stay tuned for further updates. Maybe I can get some video for my blog!!!

It Must End

Okay, maybe it's the food poisoning and misery speaking, but I'm so sick of hearing the Korean language. It is too much to listen to a language that you don't speak all day long. I'm not paranoid, I know they're not talking about me, but it's just annoying. No one translates anything for me. I just sit here and listen to Korean. I should start speaking Russian one day. No more English. Would that cause any concern? Probably not. This is not really an observation type of entry, just a bit of frustration. I'm sure it's the food poisoning talking. They speak too much Korean here in Korea. I mean, I get it. You're Korean.

Can You Be Food Poisoned Twice In One Week?

Yes. Yes you can. How do I know you may ask. It is 3:11am. I have been up all night with severe stomach pains, vomitting, and back pain (probably from the vomitting). What does this sound like to you? Food Poisoning: part deaux.

The best part of this is that I HAVE to go to school tomorrow (today) because of the special observation/evaluation thing on monday. We have to "practice" our little show trial.

The only thing that is making the pain go away is leaning up against the cold tile wall in my bathroom. It puts the fire out in my stomach. Any ideas on how to lash me to the wall so that I can get a few hours sleep tonight?

Don't ask me what I ate. It was something from a long time ago, since the last thing I ate was a pear. I feel truly miserable. Maybe it's not food poisoning and my body is simply rejecting South Korea. Maybe I should be deported back home just to be on the safe side. Or, maybe I just have nights of this horrible wakeness cycle ahead of me. Where's a shotgun when you need one?

What Am I Doing?

I'm a few days away from marking my 6th week here. I can't believe I've been here this long, and I really can't believe how much longer I have here. One year seems like such an insurmountably long time when you're doing something, but so short when you're not paying attention.

So, I've been here a while. I understand how things work. I know about the food. I know about strange cultural things. I understand about the yellow dust everywhere. I get it. This does nothing to ease the strangeness of the situation.

I am stopped dead in my tracks at least 5 times a day with the thought "what am I doing here?" How in the hell did I end up in Anseong, South Korea? It seems like I've been here for so long, I find it hard to remember what I was doing before Korea. I am a university grad with a degree in Russian and an extensive background in music. How did I end up in Korea? Life is definitely strange. There is no easy answer to this question. Sure, I needed a job and they called at the right time.

What convinced me to travel 13 time zones away to a tiny "island" in the surrounded by hostile countries? I have no idea. Was the recruiter just extra zealous? Possibly. Did I yearn for something more? Probably not. Was I looking for an adventure? Not really. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm content to be at home, talking to friends, being surrounded by the familiar. So, what made me travel so far to be surrounded by things so foreign? Why did I want to come to a place where I am literally a walking zoo exhibit?

If you have any answers to these questions please let me know. I still can't believe sometimes that I'm here. It's not great here. It's not horrible. It just is. My feelings towards being here are so luke warm. I'm just a bit too easy going and non-commital to actually be here. Will I ever fully accept it? Will I ever fit in? Will any of the teachers eventually invite me out to do something? Don't hold your breath.