What Am I Doing?

I'm a few days away from marking my 6th week here. I can't believe I've been here this long, and I really can't believe how much longer I have here. One year seems like such an insurmountably long time when you're doing something, but so short when you're not paying attention.

So, I've been here a while. I understand how things work. I know about the food. I know about strange cultural things. I understand about the yellow dust everywhere. I get it. This does nothing to ease the strangeness of the situation.

I am stopped dead in my tracks at least 5 times a day with the thought "what am I doing here?" How in the hell did I end up in Anseong, South Korea? It seems like I've been here for so long, I find it hard to remember what I was doing before Korea. I am a university grad with a degree in Russian and an extensive background in music. How did I end up in Korea? Life is definitely strange. There is no easy answer to this question. Sure, I needed a job and they called at the right time.

What convinced me to travel 13 time zones away to a tiny "island" in the surrounded by hostile countries? I have no idea. Was the recruiter just extra zealous? Possibly. Did I yearn for something more? Probably not. Was I looking for an adventure? Not really. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm content to be at home, talking to friends, being surrounded by the familiar. So, what made me travel so far to be surrounded by things so foreign? Why did I want to come to a place where I am literally a walking zoo exhibit?

If you have any answers to these questions please let me know. I still can't believe sometimes that I'm here. It's not great here. It's not horrible. It just is. My feelings towards being here are so luke warm. I'm just a bit too easy going and non-commital to actually be here. Will I ever fully accept it? Will I ever fit in? Will any of the teachers eventually invite me out to do something? Don't hold your breath.