Driving in Korea: Not For The Faint Of Heart

Before leaving the U.S., I read that Koreans are statistically some of the worst drivers on this blue marble we call the earth. They have more car accidents per capita than most nations. Interresting, but isn't that what people say about every country? "Oh, those Italians drive like madmen." Of course, you can insert any nationality into this sentence and it would be something you hear people say all of the time. Well let me say this, I thought that drivers in Detroit were bad until I saw people drive in Russia. I thought people drove badly in Russia until I came to Korea. The rumors and statistics are 100% true. These people should not drive AT ALL.

I knew it was going to be bad when the guy picked me up at the airport in Incheon. He drove a minivan. Attached to the dash, he had a magnetic thing that held his cell phone open, a hands-free device for the cellphone, g.p.s., and a dvd screen. Attached to the console was the dvd player/changer, the stereo, an open laptop running "mapquest" or the Korean equivalent. I'm sure I'm forgetting something. Mr. Technology paid attention to everything except the road. I literally should have died about 6,874 times on that drive to Anseong.

Now for some sweeping, yet factual, generalizations about Korean driving. Traffic lights are not to be paid attention to. The red light simply means "eh, if you think you can make it... go ahead." The yellow light has no meaning. Lanes are for babies. No one stays in their lane, or chooses the lane that is appropriate for them. Traffic circles are a free for all, you're lucky to make it out alive (Hey kids, Big Ben... Parliament). Speed limits appear to be dares. "I dare you to go faster." Tail gateing is the national past time. "Falling rocks" signs mean business. You're driving through a very very steep valley that was dynamited out, be aware of falling rocks. Make sure you don't fall into creeks or rivers. Many roads have no barrier to stop you from falling into a river. There is road, and the edge of the road is simply the drop off to the river. Oh, I'd be careful. Blind corners are the rule, not the exception. Every corner is blind. You say a short prayer that no one is coming, and then you give it the gas. Always assume the other guy will stop, there's no such thing as right of way. Pedestrians are nothing more than targets. Parking on the street is on a "if you can squeeze it in go ahead" basis. It makes no matter which way your car is facing.

So, these are the simple rules of the road here in Korea. I think it's probably safer not to leave the apartment.