I'm a few days away from marking my 6th week here. I can't believe I've been here this long, and I really can't believe how much longer I have here. One year seems like such an insurmountably long time when you're doing something, but so short when you're not paying attention.
So, I've been here a while. I understand how things work. I know about the food. I know about strange cultural things. I understand about the yellow dust everywhere. I get it. This does nothing to ease the strangeness of the situation.
I am stopped dead in my tracks at least 5 times a day with the thought "what am I doing here?" How in the hell did I end up in Anseong, South Korea? It seems like I've been here for so long, I find it hard to remember what I was doing before Korea. I am a university grad with a degree in Russian and an extensive background in music. How did I end up in Korea? Life is definitely strange. There is no easy answer to this question. Sure, I needed a job and they called at the right time.
What convinced me to travel 13 time zones away to a tiny "island" in the surrounded by hostile countries? I have no idea. Was the recruiter just extra zealous? Possibly. Did I yearn for something more? Probably not. Was I looking for an adventure? Not really. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm content to be at home, talking to friends, being surrounded by the familiar. So, what made me travel so far to be surrounded by things so foreign? Why did I want to come to a place where I am literally a walking zoo exhibit?
If you have any answers to these questions please let me know. I still can't believe sometimes that I'm here. It's not great here. It's not horrible. It just is. My feelings towards being here are so luke warm. I'm just a bit too easy going and non-commital to actually be here. Will I ever fully accept it? Will I ever fit in? Will any of the teachers eventually invite me out to do something? Don't hold your breath.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Finally A Little Cooperation
For the first time in 5 weeks, I am receiving the cooperation that I so desparately need to function. Why is this you may ask. Is it because of some new breakthrough with my co-teachers? Is it due to some cultural wall being torn down between us, allowing us all to live in a utopian wonderland with gumdrop children play in lollipop fields? Long answer: no with a maybe. Short answer: yes with a but.
The actual answer is no. The only reason that I am getting this new-found cooperation is that the time has come for our co-teaching observation/evaluation by some big wig from the Gyeonggi Provincial blah blah blah. I'm still not feeling well. Everytime I eat something, it causes me great pain and hardship. Today I had to come to work just for the morning, so that I could see and correct the lesson plan that my co-teacher made for our special class. There weren't many mistakes, but it upsets me that this is the kind of thing that I want all of the time. In this lesson she has us using power point (which she told me previously NOT to use), we are having fun, students are role playing. Learning English is fun!!!! But just for today.
By the way, I came in today to find that my candy container was down to 3 pieces. Mice? Co-workers? I also brought in a little plastic basket that I bought over the weekend. It's for all of the students' cell phones that I will be confiscating. I simply can't stand the phones anymore. Either they go or my sanity goes. No more text messaging during class. It's strange that all of the teachers agree that it's a problem, but no one does anything about it. Well, the buck stops here boys and girls. If the kids aren't nice when I'm the nice jolly fat American, maybe they'll be respectful when I'm the American that stole their cell phones.
The actual answer is no. The only reason that I am getting this new-found cooperation is that the time has come for our co-teaching observation/evaluation by some big wig from the Gyeonggi Provincial blah blah blah. I'm still not feeling well. Everytime I eat something, it causes me great pain and hardship. Today I had to come to work just for the morning, so that I could see and correct the lesson plan that my co-teacher made for our special class. There weren't many mistakes, but it upsets me that this is the kind of thing that I want all of the time. In this lesson she has us using power point (which she told me previously NOT to use), we are having fun, students are role playing. Learning English is fun!!!! But just for today.
By the way, I came in today to find that my candy container was down to 3 pieces. Mice? Co-workers? I also brought in a little plastic basket that I bought over the weekend. It's for all of the students' cell phones that I will be confiscating. I simply can't stand the phones anymore. Either they go or my sanity goes. No more text messaging during class. It's strange that all of the teachers agree that it's a problem, but no one does anything about it. Well, the buck stops here boys and girls. If the kids aren't nice when I'm the nice jolly fat American, maybe they'll be respectful when I'm the American that stole their cell phones.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Some Strange Food Choices
We all think of certain things as being a given. This is especially true with food items. What goes with a burger? Maybe some fries or chips. What goes on a pizza? Pepperoni perhaps. What kind of foods do you find on a salad bar? Some nice fruits and veggies perhaps. All of these thoughts have to be out of your mind when you're dining in Korea.
Pizza. When ordering pizza in Korea, you may want to say something you've never thought of saying before. Hold the corn. Yes, corn is a given ingredient for pizza. It's as common as tomato sauce. It's not unpleasant, but it just isn't Kosher in terms of pizza. So, when you're at Pizza Hut, just say "corn, no."
You know what would go great with that corn-free pizza? Breadsticks? Garlic bread? Salad? Nope. How about some nice pickles. They definitely come free with pizza, it's a given. I have a whole shelf in the door of my fridge that is little tubs of pickles from Dominoes Pizza. Don't ask me why they come with pizza, they just do. Perhaps a pregnant woman introduced pizza to Korea.
French fries. Maybe you call them freedom fries. Either way they are good. There is nothing more American than some nice fries with a burger or sandwich. Did you want those hot? Well, don't hold your breath. Fried potatoes are usually served cold here. Ice cold french fries. When I asked my english co-teacher about the cold fries I said "Why are the fries cold?" She simply said "they were hot when they cooked them." Yes, they were hot at 8am when they cooked them for lunch. So, don't get set on eating some steaming hot fries.
Ketchup or catsup. It's the greatest thing since sliced bread. It goes on everything in the US, and it goes on everything in Korea. Don't be surprised to see ketchup offered for some odd items, just go with the flow. Ketchup for you fish? Yes. Ketchup with cinnamon for cold fries? You betcha. Ketchup for any fried thing? Yup. Sometimes you are just offered mustard. Not big on choices here in Korea.
Tea. Don't hope for some nice black tea like in the US. They drink all kinds, except black. Green. Barley. Yam. Tarrow root. Leaves of all sorts. No caffeine. Not necessarily great tasting. At school when the other teachers say "Mr. Youngs, do you want some tea?" I just say "No thank-you." I can't drink another cup of green or barley tea. I just can't stomach it.
Odd drinks. In Korea no one drinks the water. It contains arsenic. So, everywhere you go they have big water purifiers that give cold and hot water. So, you also find little tubes of drink powders to go in the purified water. You can get cocoa and some nice fruity drinks. Be careful. A teacher offered me a drink. I said "anything cold." Then I took a drink. Mmmmm.... pine. It was a pine beverage. "You don't like it?" I replied "It's good, but in the US we don't eat pine." It tasted like a pine cone. Only in Korea. I guess it's a good thing that the 7-11 doesn't have slurpies. Who the hell wants a pine or barley tea slurpee?
On salad bars, look for lots of quail egg dishes. Also popular are unidentifiable mashed things. Maybe it's sweet potato? Maybe it's mud pie. Don't know. I hope you like Thousand Island dressing. That is ALL that is available here in Korea. If there are other types, I haven't seen them. It's a small country, and the choices are strange and limited. Remember, I'm on an island here. We share a border with North Korea, and we don't trade with them. Everything has to be shipped here. Crazy crazy food.
So, next time you are eating pizza, or enjoying a free salad bar, or simple tea... think of me. Think of having to think in a strange convoluted way. No corn on the pizza please. No pickles with the pizza. Do you have anything other than thousand island? Normal tea? It's the little things that make the difference.
Pizza. When ordering pizza in Korea, you may want to say something you've never thought of saying before. Hold the corn. Yes, corn is a given ingredient for pizza. It's as common as tomato sauce. It's not unpleasant, but it just isn't Kosher in terms of pizza. So, when you're at Pizza Hut, just say "corn, no."
You know what would go great with that corn-free pizza? Breadsticks? Garlic bread? Salad? Nope. How about some nice pickles. They definitely come free with pizza, it's a given. I have a whole shelf in the door of my fridge that is little tubs of pickles from Dominoes Pizza. Don't ask me why they come with pizza, they just do. Perhaps a pregnant woman introduced pizza to Korea.
French fries. Maybe you call them freedom fries. Either way they are good. There is nothing more American than some nice fries with a burger or sandwich. Did you want those hot? Well, don't hold your breath. Fried potatoes are usually served cold here. Ice cold french fries. When I asked my english co-teacher about the cold fries I said "Why are the fries cold?" She simply said "they were hot when they cooked them." Yes, they were hot at 8am when they cooked them for lunch. So, don't get set on eating some steaming hot fries.
Ketchup or catsup. It's the greatest thing since sliced bread. It goes on everything in the US, and it goes on everything in Korea. Don't be surprised to see ketchup offered for some odd items, just go with the flow. Ketchup for you fish? Yes. Ketchup with cinnamon for cold fries? You betcha. Ketchup for any fried thing? Yup. Sometimes you are just offered mustard. Not big on choices here in Korea.
Tea. Don't hope for some nice black tea like in the US. They drink all kinds, except black. Green. Barley. Yam. Tarrow root. Leaves of all sorts. No caffeine. Not necessarily great tasting. At school when the other teachers say "Mr. Youngs, do you want some tea?" I just say "No thank-you." I can't drink another cup of green or barley tea. I just can't stomach it.
Odd drinks. In Korea no one drinks the water. It contains arsenic. So, everywhere you go they have big water purifiers that give cold and hot water. So, you also find little tubes of drink powders to go in the purified water. You can get cocoa and some nice fruity drinks. Be careful. A teacher offered me a drink. I said "anything cold." Then I took a drink. Mmmmm.... pine. It was a pine beverage. "You don't like it?" I replied "It's good, but in the US we don't eat pine." It tasted like a pine cone. Only in Korea. I guess it's a good thing that the 7-11 doesn't have slurpies. Who the hell wants a pine or barley tea slurpee?
On salad bars, look for lots of quail egg dishes. Also popular are unidentifiable mashed things. Maybe it's sweet potato? Maybe it's mud pie. Don't know. I hope you like Thousand Island dressing. That is ALL that is available here in Korea. If there are other types, I haven't seen them. It's a small country, and the choices are strange and limited. Remember, I'm on an island here. We share a border with North Korea, and we don't trade with them. Everything has to be shipped here. Crazy crazy food.
So, next time you are eating pizza, or enjoying a free salad bar, or simple tea... think of me. Think of having to think in a strange convoluted way. No corn on the pizza please. No pickles with the pizza. Do you have anything other than thousand island? Normal tea? It's the little things that make the difference.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Blood Types And What The Hell They Mean
This is not my own writing, but something copied from the internet. It's apparently why the Koreans are so geeked about blood types. There's even a popular Korean movie called "My Boyfriend is Type B." Sounds like a John Hughes kind of thing. Hope you enjoy. Update: I can now keep solid foods down. Stomach is still very sore though.
History
The discovery of blood types in 1901 has been hailed as one of the greatest advances in medical history, but the breakthrough was then perverted by the Nazis to further their eugenics program, and claim the superiority of Germans -- mostly types A and O -- over Jews, Asians and others with a larger proportion of type B blood.
The theory reached Japan in a 1927 psychologist's report, and the militarist government of the time commissioned a study aimed at breeding better soldiers. The craze faded in the 1930s as its unscientific basis became evident. However, it was revived in the 1970s with a book by Masahiko Nomi, an advocate and broadcaster with no medical background.
[edit]
Scientific support
While scientific study has shown that people of specific blood types may be more prone to certain illnesses, no medical evidence has been found correlating blood type with personality.
[edit]
Character trait associations
According to Nomi's theory, those with type A blood tend to be reserved, punctual and law-abiding while type Os tend to be more outgoing and individualistic. Type A blood is the most common in Japan and Germany while type O is most prevalent in the United States. Interestingly enough, 60 percent of Japanese Prime Ministers have been type O. Type Bs also tend to make great cooks and restaurant guides featuring Type B chefs are popular products in Japan. In Japan AB blood type is often considered the least desirable type.
Persons having Rh negative blood types are extremely rare in the Japanese population, and generally the Japanese attach no particular significance to the Rh type.
[edit]
Applications
Blood type theory is widely popular in women's magazines as a way to gauge relationship compatibility with a potential or current partner. Morning television shows feature regular blood type horoscopes, and blood type horoscopes are published daily in newspapers.
Casually asking one's blood type is quite common, and a refusal to answer may be construed as being ashamed of one's blood type. Some Japanese are frequently surprised if a Westerner does not know his or her own blood type.
The lack of proven correlation between blood type and personality has not slowed the many matchmaking services that cater to blood type (ketsu-eki-gata). There are even blood type consultants; who believe that they can calculate how well the blood types of different people work together - a Japanese employer could therefore aim to get a proper mix of blood types among their personnel.
It is also common among anime and manga authors to mention their character's blood types, and to give their characters corresponding blood types to match their personalities. Some video game characters also have known blood types, for example the manual for Final Fantasy VII reveals the blood type of Cloud Strife to be AB. Many fighting games (such as Dead or Alive or Street Fighter) often list blood type of characters on bio pages or in the manual. The videogame series Gungriffon and Princess Maker allow for blood type as an option in their creation modes.
History
The discovery of blood types in 1901 has been hailed as one of the greatest advances in medical history, but the breakthrough was then perverted by the Nazis to further their eugenics program, and claim the superiority of Germans -- mostly types A and O -- over Jews, Asians and others with a larger proportion of type B blood.
The theory reached Japan in a 1927 psychologist's report, and the militarist government of the time commissioned a study aimed at breeding better soldiers. The craze faded in the 1930s as its unscientific basis became evident. However, it was revived in the 1970s with a book by Masahiko Nomi, an advocate and broadcaster with no medical background.
[edit]
Scientific support
While scientific study has shown that people of specific blood types may be more prone to certain illnesses, no medical evidence has been found correlating blood type with personality.
[edit]
Character trait associations
According to Nomi's theory, those with type A blood tend to be reserved, punctual and law-abiding while type Os tend to be more outgoing and individualistic. Type A blood is the most common in Japan and Germany while type O is most prevalent in the United States. Interestingly enough, 60 percent of Japanese Prime Ministers have been type O. Type Bs also tend to make great cooks and restaurant guides featuring Type B chefs are popular products in Japan. In Japan AB blood type is often considered the least desirable type.
Persons having Rh negative blood types are extremely rare in the Japanese population, and generally the Japanese attach no particular significance to the Rh type.
[edit]
Applications
Blood type theory is widely popular in women's magazines as a way to gauge relationship compatibility with a potential or current partner. Morning television shows feature regular blood type horoscopes, and blood type horoscopes are published daily in newspapers.
Casually asking one's blood type is quite common, and a refusal to answer may be construed as being ashamed of one's blood type. Some Japanese are frequently surprised if a Westerner does not know his or her own blood type.
The lack of proven correlation between blood type and personality has not slowed the many matchmaking services that cater to blood type (ketsu-eki-gata). There are even blood type consultants; who believe that they can calculate how well the blood types of different people work together - a Japanese employer could therefore aim to get a proper mix of blood types among their personnel.
It is also common among anime and manga authors to mention their character's blood types, and to give their characters corresponding blood types to match their personalities. Some video game characters also have known blood types, for example the manual for Final Fantasy VII reveals the blood type of Cloud Strife to be AB. Many fighting games (such as Dead or Alive or Street Fighter) often list blood type of characters on bio pages or in the manual. The videogame series Gungriffon and Princess Maker allow for blood type as an option in their creation modes.
Friday, May 26, 2006
A Slice of Heaven With A Side Of Hell
Today was my first encounter with the South Korean medical world. So, you know this is going to be good.
I was food poisoned today, severely, at "The Golden Life" restaurant. Yes, even $200/night resorts will food poison you. I was fine until late morning when I had severe abdominal pain and really thought I was having either a gallbladder attack or heart attack or something. It was really bad.
The shuttle driver for the resort took me and Victoria (she's so freakin' awesome to help me out like this) to Suwon to the hospital. Along the way, I also did another first. The busdriver had to pull over very quickly so that I could vomit on the side of a very busy road. This was so miserable.
At the hospital, they needed my insurance book, then they sent me up to the doctor on the second floor. I had to pay $4.86. Then I went to get the prescription filled, also $4. So, my trip through the hospital and pharmacy cost me less than $10.
That was at noon, it's now 8pm. I'm still in a whole lot of pain. I'm not having a grand time. I am going to be very very very very very very very careful with food in this country from now on.
I was food poisoned today, severely, at "The Golden Life" restaurant. Yes, even $200/night resorts will food poison you. I was fine until late morning when I had severe abdominal pain and really thought I was having either a gallbladder attack or heart attack or something. It was really bad.
The shuttle driver for the resort took me and Victoria (she's so freakin' awesome to help me out like this) to Suwon to the hospital. Along the way, I also did another first. The busdriver had to pull over very quickly so that I could vomit on the side of a very busy road. This was so miserable.
At the hospital, they needed my insurance book, then they sent me up to the doctor on the second floor. I had to pay $4.86. Then I went to get the prescription filled, also $4. So, my trip through the hospital and pharmacy cost me less than $10.
That was at noon, it's now 8pm. I'm still in a whole lot of pain. I'm not having a grand time. I am going to be very very very very very very very careful with food in this country from now on.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Opening Questions From Koreans
When Koreans meet you, they want to ask you lots of personal questions. This can be strange at first, but they you realize it's just what they do. Some of the personal questions are: how old are you? Are you married? What is your blood type?
Blood type. Okay, so apparently in Korea they have this belief that blood type reveals much about a persons personality traits. It's a kind of Korean horoscope thing. It was explained to me, I'm not sure about it.
Other strange Korean things. You are 1 year old when you're born. You turn another year old when you reach January 1st. So, right now instead of being 27 I'm 29 in Korean years. How crazy is that? At this rate I'll qualify for my AARP card any day now!!!
Blood type. Okay, so apparently in Korea they have this belief that blood type reveals much about a persons personality traits. It's a kind of Korean horoscope thing. It was explained to me, I'm not sure about it.
Other strange Korean things. You are 1 year old when you're born. You turn another year old when you reach January 1st. So, right now instead of being 27 I'm 29 in Korean years. How crazy is that? At this rate I'll qualify for my AARP card any day now!!!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The Golden Life
I'm currently cooling heals at new English teacher orientation for the Gyeonggi province in a "resort" in Hwasan. The resort is called La Vie d'Or. The Koreans pronounce it "Lavidor." For the longest time I thought Mr. Yoo was saying Labrador, but just in a very very Korean accent.
Now, this "resort" is a pretty swanky place... sort of. There are 4 people per room, which is cruel. The word "resort" is kind of an overstatment. There are facilities here, but they are expensive and/or closed. There is a pool... construction. There is a bar... overpriced. There is a weight room... you have to pay to use it. The hotel is even charging about $8 for another tiny bottle of shampoo... or so the rumor has it. Thank God for the large bottle of Suave that I got at Walmart in Howell!!
The lectures started today. To say that they were long speeches would be an understatement. There were 2 main speakers, the first lady for being a resident of the U.S. and for having a degree in English Linguistics from a university in Phoenix really had a bad accent and not so great grammar. She teaches in an elementary school and her methods are of course not applicable to me at all. The second speaker was very good interms of her speaking, but her content left a little to be desired. If you know anything about ESL then it was redundent. I was falling asleep in the lecture. Everyone else thought she was brilliant. I could have done without her.
Being here at orientation is nice and pissing me off all at the same time. It's nice to speak English is 100 other people, it's nice to meet people from all over the world. It's pissing me off to hear how great their jobs are, how great their co-teachers are, how much their students love them. I'm feeling kinda bitter now. Oh well, I guess I'll have to get over it. I did meet a woman who came here and still doesn't have an apartment. She's been living in a hotel and her luggage is at storage in her school. So, it could be worse.
Now, this "resort" is a pretty swanky place... sort of. There are 4 people per room, which is cruel. The word "resort" is kind of an overstatment. There are facilities here, but they are expensive and/or closed. There is a pool... construction. There is a bar... overpriced. There is a weight room... you have to pay to use it. The hotel is even charging about $8 for another tiny bottle of shampoo... or so the rumor has it. Thank God for the large bottle of Suave that I got at Walmart in Howell!!
The lectures started today. To say that they were long speeches would be an understatement. There were 2 main speakers, the first lady for being a resident of the U.S. and for having a degree in English Linguistics from a university in Phoenix really had a bad accent and not so great grammar. She teaches in an elementary school and her methods are of course not applicable to me at all. The second speaker was very good interms of her speaking, but her content left a little to be desired. If you know anything about ESL then it was redundent. I was falling asleep in the lecture. Everyone else thought she was brilliant. I could have done without her.
Being here at orientation is nice and pissing me off all at the same time. It's nice to speak English is 100 other people, it's nice to meet people from all over the world. It's pissing me off to hear how great their jobs are, how great their co-teachers are, how much their students love them. I'm feeling kinda bitter now. Oh well, I guess I'll have to get over it. I did meet a woman who came here and still doesn't have an apartment. She's been living in a hotel and her luggage is at storage in her school. So, it could be worse.
Monday, May 22, 2006
I Could Tell You... But I'd Have To Kill You
It's such a cliche. This line, people use it thinking they're clever, when really it makes me want to vomit just for something interresting to use. "Hey, what did you do over the weekend?" "I could tell you... but I'd have to kill you!" Oh my God, shoot me now.
This is the perfect phrase however to describe my life in Korea. To say that people ruling my life are secretive about the details of my existence here would be at the very least... accurate. For instance, I am going to a week-long new teacher orientation this week. It's a new teacher orientation, even though I've been here one year. I'm looking at it as one week away from teaching. This is all I know about the trip. I know that it is in another city. Which city??? Who knows. I know that it is one week long, and that after 4th period today Mr. Yoo will put me on a train. What about after the train? Where am I going? What will I be doing there? I know I'm staying overnight, what will the accomodations be like? What about food? Will there be internet access? Why am I here? What happened to my brain, why can't I think in complicated sentences anymore? Why is there one mosquito in my apartment that just feasts on me all night? What's the deal with kim-chi? So many questions... not a single answer.
So, here I sit. Monday morning. I have a packed suitcase, a bit of cash, and blind faith that everything will work out, more than likely in the most comical and farcical way possible. These Koreans keep the Americans in the dark like it's a matter of national security. If no one hears from me by friday then call the state department... I've been put in a Korean internment camp.
P.S. - on another subject, I got my first phone bill today, calling home is very cheap. Nothing to fear from the big bill yet to come.
This is the perfect phrase however to describe my life in Korea. To say that people ruling my life are secretive about the details of my existence here would be at the very least... accurate. For instance, I am going to a week-long new teacher orientation this week. It's a new teacher orientation, even though I've been here one year. I'm looking at it as one week away from teaching. This is all I know about the trip. I know that it is in another city. Which city??? Who knows. I know that it is one week long, and that after 4th period today Mr. Yoo will put me on a train. What about after the train? Where am I going? What will I be doing there? I know I'm staying overnight, what will the accomodations be like? What about food? Will there be internet access? Why am I here? What happened to my brain, why can't I think in complicated sentences anymore? Why is there one mosquito in my apartment that just feasts on me all night? What's the deal with kim-chi? So many questions... not a single answer.
So, here I sit. Monday morning. I have a packed suitcase, a bit of cash, and blind faith that everything will work out, more than likely in the most comical and farcical way possible. These Koreans keep the Americans in the dark like it's a matter of national security. If no one hears from me by friday then call the state department... I've been put in a Korean internment camp.
P.S. - on another subject, I got my first phone bill today, calling home is very cheap. Nothing to fear from the big bill yet to come.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
On The Old Campaign Trail
Okay, it's that time of year again. Anseong will be choosing a new mayor in a couple of weeks. Now is the time for the candidates, Mr. Smiley and Mr. Reminds Me Of Ho Chi Minh, to be out there kissing babies and shaking hands. You would not believe what passes now a days for campaigning in South Korea.
Now, I have met the candidates. Yes, I'm in the center of the mayoral whirlwind in Anseong. I met one candidate at a restaurant, he was handing out buisness cards with his picture on it. This was, of course, Mr. Smiley. He seemed nice enough, and his pictures plastered all over billboards. You can also see his picture on the side of trucks, blaring loudspeaker messages saying things in Korean that I'm certain translate to "it's 7a.m. on sunday and Americans do not get to sleep in at all."
Now, if you want to see heated exchange and mudslinging, there is only one place to go. You must go downtown to the main intersection. There, several streets come together and there are various islands/medians at this intersection. Now, on island one you see about 10 young women in red t-shirts, Mr. Smiley's girls, doing their modified Macarena dance to some bad Korean techno. On island two you see about 10 young women in teal t-shirts, Mr. Reminds Me Of Ho Chi Minh's girls, doing their modified Macarena dance to some bad Korean techno. Wow, you could cut the tension with a spoon, it was palpable. So much animosity, so much hatred, so much mudslinging... represented by dueling Macarena dancers. Oh the humanity!!!
When will politicians learn that at the end of the day you still have to like yourself? This is worse than the fight in the U.S. over hanging chads, worse than the gun boat veterans. I simply don't know how these guys sleep at night. Oh the horror of the campaign. Those singing, Macarenaing girls will haunt me until I die.
Go Mr. Smiley!!
Now, I have met the candidates. Yes, I'm in the center of the mayoral whirlwind in Anseong. I met one candidate at a restaurant, he was handing out buisness cards with his picture on it. This was, of course, Mr. Smiley. He seemed nice enough, and his pictures plastered all over billboards. You can also see his picture on the side of trucks, blaring loudspeaker messages saying things in Korean that I'm certain translate to "it's 7a.m. on sunday and Americans do not get to sleep in at all."
Now, if you want to see heated exchange and mudslinging, there is only one place to go. You must go downtown to the main intersection. There, several streets come together and there are various islands/medians at this intersection. Now, on island one you see about 10 young women in red t-shirts, Mr. Smiley's girls, doing their modified Macarena dance to some bad Korean techno. On island two you see about 10 young women in teal t-shirts, Mr. Reminds Me Of Ho Chi Minh's girls, doing their modified Macarena dance to some bad Korean techno. Wow, you could cut the tension with a spoon, it was palpable. So much animosity, so much hatred, so much mudslinging... represented by dueling Macarena dancers. Oh the humanity!!!
When will politicians learn that at the end of the day you still have to like yourself? This is worse than the fight in the U.S. over hanging chads, worse than the gun boat veterans. I simply don't know how these guys sleep at night. Oh the horror of the campaign. Those singing, Macarenaing girls will haunt me until I die.
Go Mr. Smiley!!
Seoul Man
Yesterday was my first outing to Seoul. The city is only about an hour away by express bus, which costs only $3.50 or so to get a ticket. Very cheap. On the way to Seoul, we passed a Walmart. Our new goal is to try to get to that Walmart, the land of cheap goods from China.
Now, it may sound stupid, but we (Victoria and I) did very little in Seoul. Now, the express bus terminal in Seoul is a 3 story building, huge, which is like a mall. We spent a great deal of time in the bookstore there. I did manage to find a book for learning Korean, a pretty good one too I think. I almost got the "Korean for Russians" book, but didn't want to really confuse myself. I'd hate to have to think of the Russian word to get the Korean.
After that we had lunch. We were going to go to an Outback Steakhouse. Because of the Americanness of the restaurant and the beefiness. Beef is a scarcity here. The line was insane so we went for McDonald's. You can't beat a big mac, fries, and a coke to combat homesickness.
Next we found the subway and made our way over to COEX. Now, COEX is a convention center, aquarium, movie theatre, and giant mall. We went to see a wax museum. Now, the museum items seemed to be bought at a second hand store for wax figures, as most of the figures looked nothing like the celebrities they were supposed to be. A few were good, and looked like they would come to life immediately. But it was sort of a bust. I didn't mind. It was my first wax museum and any time you can get out of Anseong and see something new is time well spent in my book.
In the mall of COEX, I did come across lots of interresting stores. The Hello Kitty store. I love it. Hello Kitty is the embodiment of the ideal Japanese woman. She has no mouth. How quaint and sexist. "I'm pretty to look at, see the bow, but I have no thoughts worth hearing." There was also a store called "there's." What was there... I have no idea. Lots of generic mall stores, clothing, fashionable sunglasses, cell phones, etc.
After the museum, we sat outside (we finally found our way outside) and had a nice cold drink, enjoying the breeze. There was a giant cell phone in the courtyard. I guess we know where the cell phone ranks in Korea, higher than fine culture. I have a picture of the phone, but it didn't come out too great, but you can get the idea.
We walked around a bit more, but by then we were getting quite tired. There's a lot of walking to be done, and very little sitting. We caught a taxi and went back to the bus terminal. Got on a 5 o'clock bus and came back to Anseong. On this pedestrian street they have, I saw two women painting portraits on canvas with watercolors. They painted from pictures or from people posing for them. It was amazing. I'm sure the paintings were cheap to get done, and they were very quick about them. I've included a pic of these paintings too.
All in all, it was a good day in Seoul. Not too much was seen, but I have a years worth of weekends. Next trip I'm gonna go with someone who is familiar with Seoul, someone who can really show me around.
Now, it may sound stupid, but we (Victoria and I) did very little in Seoul. Now, the express bus terminal in Seoul is a 3 story building, huge, which is like a mall. We spent a great deal of time in the bookstore there. I did manage to find a book for learning Korean, a pretty good one too I think. I almost got the "Korean for Russians" book, but didn't want to really confuse myself. I'd hate to have to think of the Russian word to get the Korean.
After that we had lunch. We were going to go to an Outback Steakhouse. Because of the Americanness of the restaurant and the beefiness. Beef is a scarcity here. The line was insane so we went for McDonald's. You can't beat a big mac, fries, and a coke to combat homesickness.
Next we found the subway and made our way over to COEX. Now, COEX is a convention center, aquarium, movie theatre, and giant mall. We went to see a wax museum. Now, the museum items seemed to be bought at a second hand store for wax figures, as most of the figures looked nothing like the celebrities they were supposed to be. A few were good, and looked like they would come to life immediately. But it was sort of a bust. I didn't mind. It was my first wax museum and any time you can get out of Anseong and see something new is time well spent in my book.
In the mall of COEX, I did come across lots of interresting stores. The Hello Kitty store. I love it. Hello Kitty is the embodiment of the ideal Japanese woman. She has no mouth. How quaint and sexist. "I'm pretty to look at, see the bow, but I have no thoughts worth hearing." There was also a store called "there's." What was there... I have no idea. Lots of generic mall stores, clothing, fashionable sunglasses, cell phones, etc.
After the museum, we sat outside (we finally found our way outside) and had a nice cold drink, enjoying the breeze. There was a giant cell phone in the courtyard. I guess we know where the cell phone ranks in Korea, higher than fine culture. I have a picture of the phone, but it didn't come out too great, but you can get the idea.
We walked around a bit more, but by then we were getting quite tired. There's a lot of walking to be done, and very little sitting. We caught a taxi and went back to the bus terminal. Got on a 5 o'clock bus and came back to Anseong. On this pedestrian street they have, I saw two women painting portraits on canvas with watercolors. They painted from pictures or from people posing for them. It was amazing. I'm sure the paintings were cheap to get done, and they were very quick about them. I've included a pic of these paintings too.
All in all, it was a good day in Seoul. Not too much was seen, but I have a years worth of weekends. Next trip I'm gonna go with someone who is familiar with Seoul, someone who can really show me around.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Baby's Day Out
Today was a rather grand day here in Anseong. First of all, it's friday and I had the day off. So, right away, it's a pretty good day. The students at my school were taking some test and there was no reason for me to be in today. First off, I woke up and chatted for a bit with some friends from back home... this is why I HAVE to have internet at home. Then I went to my bank to inroll in online banking. The good news is that the ATMs and the bank website have English options, so I'm not hitting buttons blindly. However, no one speaks good English, so it's difficult to get some answers. It looks like if I need to pay bills at home in America (and I do) that I have to transfer the money to my bank back home each month. This will cost me atleast $10 or more in fees. Oh well, at least the bills will be paid.
After the bank, I met up with Victoria, the 58 year old American woman I first met here in Anseong. She decided to play hookie from her half-day of school (half-day because she teaches half middle school and half high school, the high schoolers had a test the midde schoolers didn't). She had spotted some furniture stores and wanted to get a bookcase. I was just happy to get out and see a bit of the city. We found the furniture district here, not too impressive. Lots of IKEA type furniture, but pretty expensive. She wanted to get a glider/rocking chair. The woman wanted $110 for it, which was rediculous, she wouldn't budge, so we moved on. Victoria found a bookcase at a good price.
Then we bought some food from a street vendor. It was like a sweet waffle type of batter cooked in hot griddles that were shaped, like 2 peanuts joined together and like a big walnut. The peanut cakes actually had some peanuts in them. They were really good, so if anyone visits me here, I'll take you to get some. Down the street a bit we found a lamp store, where they had desk lamps for under $40 (the going rate here). We each got a lamp for reading for $18 each, it would have been $10 at Walmart, but when in Korea...
We had lunch at Pizza Hut, then went to see Mission Impossible 3. Okay, the theatre is in a big building, each different theatre is on a separate floor. The snacks offered at the concession stand included sweet potatoe sticks, dried squid bits, and whole dried squid. They did have bags of microwave popcorn. Movie was good, Victoria jumped and shouted at every exciting thing... it was pretty funny.
Afterwards we went to her apartment, it was very small. I think we could fit almost 3 of her apartment in mine. We talked about students and teaching and all that jazz, invited another teacher to dinner but they had plans. We went to dinner, afterward across the street to get a chai and some cake. All in all, a delightful day. Now, that is what I consider a good day in Korea.
After the bank, I met up with Victoria, the 58 year old American woman I first met here in Anseong. She decided to play hookie from her half-day of school (half-day because she teaches half middle school and half high school, the high schoolers had a test the midde schoolers didn't). She had spotted some furniture stores and wanted to get a bookcase. I was just happy to get out and see a bit of the city. We found the furniture district here, not too impressive. Lots of IKEA type furniture, but pretty expensive. She wanted to get a glider/rocking chair. The woman wanted $110 for it, which was rediculous, she wouldn't budge, so we moved on. Victoria found a bookcase at a good price.
Then we bought some food from a street vendor. It was like a sweet waffle type of batter cooked in hot griddles that were shaped, like 2 peanuts joined together and like a big walnut. The peanut cakes actually had some peanuts in them. They were really good, so if anyone visits me here, I'll take you to get some. Down the street a bit we found a lamp store, where they had desk lamps for under $40 (the going rate here). We each got a lamp for reading for $18 each, it would have been $10 at Walmart, but when in Korea...
We had lunch at Pizza Hut, then went to see Mission Impossible 3. Okay, the theatre is in a big building, each different theatre is on a separate floor. The snacks offered at the concession stand included sweet potatoe sticks, dried squid bits, and whole dried squid. They did have bags of microwave popcorn. Movie was good, Victoria jumped and shouted at every exciting thing... it was pretty funny.
Afterwards we went to her apartment, it was very small. I think we could fit almost 3 of her apartment in mine. We talked about students and teaching and all that jazz, invited another teacher to dinner but they had plans. We went to dinner, afterward across the street to get a chai and some cake. All in all, a delightful day. Now, that is what I consider a good day in Korea.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Driving in Korea: Not For The Faint Of Heart
Before leaving the U.S., I read that Koreans are statistically some of the worst drivers on this blue marble we call the earth. They have more car accidents per capita than most nations. Interresting, but isn't that what people say about every country? "Oh, those Italians drive like madmen." Of course, you can insert any nationality into this sentence and it would be something you hear people say all of the time. Well let me say this, I thought that drivers in Detroit were bad until I saw people drive in Russia. I thought people drove badly in Russia until I came to Korea. The rumors and statistics are 100% true. These people should not drive AT ALL.
I knew it was going to be bad when the guy picked me up at the airport in Incheon. He drove a minivan. Attached to the dash, he had a magnetic thing that held his cell phone open, a hands-free device for the cellphone, g.p.s., and a dvd screen. Attached to the console was the dvd player/changer, the stereo, an open laptop running "mapquest" or the Korean equivalent. I'm sure I'm forgetting something. Mr. Technology paid attention to everything except the road. I literally should have died about 6,874 times on that drive to Anseong.
Now for some sweeping, yet factual, generalizations about Korean driving. Traffic lights are not to be paid attention to. The red light simply means "eh, if you think you can make it... go ahead." The yellow light has no meaning. Lanes are for babies. No one stays in their lane, or chooses the lane that is appropriate for them. Traffic circles are a free for all, you're lucky to make it out alive (Hey kids, Big Ben... Parliament). Speed limits appear to be dares. "I dare you to go faster." Tail gateing is the national past time. "Falling rocks" signs mean business. You're driving through a very very steep valley that was dynamited out, be aware of falling rocks. Make sure you don't fall into creeks or rivers. Many roads have no barrier to stop you from falling into a river. There is road, and the edge of the road is simply the drop off to the river. Oh, I'd be careful. Blind corners are the rule, not the exception. Every corner is blind. You say a short prayer that no one is coming, and then you give it the gas. Always assume the other guy will stop, there's no such thing as right of way. Pedestrians are nothing more than targets. Parking on the street is on a "if you can squeeze it in go ahead" basis. It makes no matter which way your car is facing.
So, these are the simple rules of the road here in Korea. I think it's probably safer not to leave the apartment.
I knew it was going to be bad when the guy picked me up at the airport in Incheon. He drove a minivan. Attached to the dash, he had a magnetic thing that held his cell phone open, a hands-free device for the cellphone, g.p.s., and a dvd screen. Attached to the console was the dvd player/changer, the stereo, an open laptop running "mapquest" or the Korean equivalent. I'm sure I'm forgetting something. Mr. Technology paid attention to everything except the road. I literally should have died about 6,874 times on that drive to Anseong.
Now for some sweeping, yet factual, generalizations about Korean driving. Traffic lights are not to be paid attention to. The red light simply means "eh, if you think you can make it... go ahead." The yellow light has no meaning. Lanes are for babies. No one stays in their lane, or chooses the lane that is appropriate for them. Traffic circles are a free for all, you're lucky to make it out alive (Hey kids, Big Ben... Parliament). Speed limits appear to be dares. "I dare you to go faster." Tail gateing is the national past time. "Falling rocks" signs mean business. You're driving through a very very steep valley that was dynamited out, be aware of falling rocks. Make sure you don't fall into creeks or rivers. Many roads have no barrier to stop you from falling into a river. There is road, and the edge of the road is simply the drop off to the river. Oh, I'd be careful. Blind corners are the rule, not the exception. Every corner is blind. You say a short prayer that no one is coming, and then you give it the gas. Always assume the other guy will stop, there's no such thing as right of way. Pedestrians are nothing more than targets. Parking on the street is on a "if you can squeeze it in go ahead" basis. It makes no matter which way your car is facing.
So, these are the simple rules of the road here in Korea. I think it's probably safer not to leave the apartment.
Come To Korea: Our Students Are The Most Violent
I've noticed something here in Korea, although I'm afraid to say it. The students here are very violent towards eachother. They spend their days punching eachother in the arms, in the middle of the back. They slap eachother. They kick eachother. They pinch eachother. And they do it HARD. I see it and I think "ouch, careful, I bruise."
Now, I have an idea behind this violence. I've noted before that Korean students are more emotionally immature than their U.S. counterparts. I've seen 19 year old girls playing with the type of toys in class that you have to take away from 6th grade girls in the U.S. Guys here get so excited about saying a bad word, whereas bad words are just part of the vernacular in U.S. schools. They're as much a part of English as the word "the."
Now, here is my theory that I've been postulating for a while. So, the violence between the students is very similar to the violence you see between boys and girls that like eachother in elementary school. You know, when a boy hits a girl or pulls her hair to show that he likes her. Or the girl that makes fun of the boy that she secretly has a crush on. This violence is the same thing. My hypothesis is that the violence is their way of expressing fondness for one another. Frankly, I'm certain that my hypothesis is 100% accurate. If you don't believe me, or if you doubt it... come to Korea and see it for yourself.
Now, I have an idea behind this violence. I've noted before that Korean students are more emotionally immature than their U.S. counterparts. I've seen 19 year old girls playing with the type of toys in class that you have to take away from 6th grade girls in the U.S. Guys here get so excited about saying a bad word, whereas bad words are just part of the vernacular in U.S. schools. They're as much a part of English as the word "the."
Now, here is my theory that I've been postulating for a while. So, the violence between the students is very similar to the violence you see between boys and girls that like eachother in elementary school. You know, when a boy hits a girl or pulls her hair to show that he likes her. Or the girl that makes fun of the boy that she secretly has a crush on. This violence is the same thing. My hypothesis is that the violence is their way of expressing fondness for one another. Frankly, I'm certain that my hypothesis is 100% accurate. If you don't believe me, or if you doubt it... come to Korea and see it for yourself.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
I Never Thought I Would...
eat cake with chopsticks.
be so glad to see a Big Mac.
watch students get smacked everyday.
listen to grown teenagers whine for candy.
be lectured everyday on the virtues of kim-chi.
spend time vacuuming up dust from China and Mongolia.
travel 45 minutes by bus just to get a plate.
be so sick of green tea.
miss how Americans drive.
be so shocked to see a white person.
have students poke me deliberately.
look so forward to eating plain white rice.
see so many giggling school girls.
do such a good impression of Koreans speaking English.
eat french fries with chopsticks.
eat a $10 watermelon.
try so many dishes that are completely unidentifiable.
worry about eating dog.
see Spongebob Squarepants speak Korean.
actually want to go to the theater to see Mission Impossible 3.
miss caffeine this bad.
go a month without seeing a single fork.
eat food that was hotter than the center of the sun.
bow so much in my life.
be so thankful for a coke.
feel compelled to take off my shoes when entering buildings.
consider a banana a good meal.
be given wine by graduating students.
see so much Hello Kitty in my life.
recognise my name in Hangeul (Korean alphabet).
be woken-up by church bells at 5:30 in the morning everyday.
have to turn on the water heater when I wanted to shower.
bribe students to learn by plying them with candy so frequently.
find squid in my food on such a regular basis.
speak in such short adjective-less sentences.
eat an entire ocean worth of seaweed.
look so forward to phone calls... from anyone.
see American magazines selling for $11 a copy.
listen to people brushing their teeth and hocking up phlegm in public.
writint a blog from the other side of the world... literally.
be so glad to see a Big Mac.
watch students get smacked everyday.
listen to grown teenagers whine for candy.
be lectured everyday on the virtues of kim-chi.
spend time vacuuming up dust from China and Mongolia.
travel 45 minutes by bus just to get a plate.
be so sick of green tea.
miss how Americans drive.
be so shocked to see a white person.
have students poke me deliberately.
look so forward to eating plain white rice.
see so many giggling school girls.
do such a good impression of Koreans speaking English.
eat french fries with chopsticks.
eat a $10 watermelon.
try so many dishes that are completely unidentifiable.
worry about eating dog.
see Spongebob Squarepants speak Korean.
actually want to go to the theater to see Mission Impossible 3.
miss caffeine this bad.
go a month without seeing a single fork.
eat food that was hotter than the center of the sun.
bow so much in my life.
be so thankful for a coke.
feel compelled to take off my shoes when entering buildings.
consider a banana a good meal.
be given wine by graduating students.
see so much Hello Kitty in my life.
recognise my name in Hangeul (Korean alphabet).
be woken-up by church bells at 5:30 in the morning everyday.
have to turn on the water heater when I wanted to shower.
bribe students to learn by plying them with candy so frequently.
find squid in my food on such a regular basis.
speak in such short adjective-less sentences.
eat an entire ocean worth of seaweed.
look so forward to phone calls... from anyone.
see American magazines selling for $11 a copy.
listen to people brushing their teeth and hocking up phlegm in public.
writint a blog from the other side of the world... literally.
Korean Men: Not Afraid To Show Their Feminine Side
In the U.S. you hear the same complaint in every daytime talk show or every sitcome. Women are always talking about men needing to embrace their feminine side, to be more sensitive, not to be afraid to cry. This is of course a stereotype, but it's out there, and you've heard the arguments for and against it.
In Korea, men have no problem at all doing things that are strongly feminine, by U.S. standards. These things include: wearing pink, wearing pastels and floral prints, using Hello Kitty and other "girly" stationary items, using girls facial moisturizers and stuff. It seems that they understand it here: it takes a real man to wear pink.
Men just simply don't care. I like that attitude. They don't see the Hello Kitty pencil with a pink puffy thing at the end, they just see a pencil. It's not a pink shirt or a pastel shirt, it's just a shirt.
So, let me be the first to say "kudos" to our Korean brothers. You have slipped the earthly bonds and reached enlightenment... in a pink Hello Kitty sweater.
In Korea, men have no problem at all doing things that are strongly feminine, by U.S. standards. These things include: wearing pink, wearing pastels and floral prints, using Hello Kitty and other "girly" stationary items, using girls facial moisturizers and stuff. It seems that they understand it here: it takes a real man to wear pink.
Men just simply don't care. I like that attitude. They don't see the Hello Kitty pencil with a pink puffy thing at the end, they just see a pencil. It's not a pink shirt or a pastel shirt, it's just a shirt.
So, let me be the first to say "kudos" to our Korean brothers. You have slipped the earthly bonds and reached enlightenment... in a pink Hello Kitty sweater.
Oh The Blessed Bliss
Is there anything in the world more blissful than your own internet line in your home? Of course the answer is no. My internet line was hooked up yesterday. Best of all, it was hooked up early. I came home from school and it was all set to go. Now I can access email accounts that were randomly blocked from my school's computer. I can use my microphone and chat with friends for free instead of whatever the ungodly rate is for international calls. I feel connected again. Remember when Mr. Rogers sang at the end of his show? Remember the lyrics? "It's such a good feeling, knowing you're alive." That's what internet access at home does for me.
By the way, for those of you who would actually care, Tony nominations came out, and Sweeney Todd is up for best revival. I'm sure it will win. I hear the producution is the bomb diggidy yo. That's so street of me for typing that. I gots mad street cred.
By the way, for those of you who would actually care, Tony nominations came out, and Sweeney Todd is up for best revival. I'm sure it will win. I hear the producution is the bomb diggidy yo. That's so street of me for typing that. I gots mad street cred.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Korean Pimp Juice
Koreans are all about energy drinks. Who knew? I certainly didn't. When you go into the grocery store, there is a huge energy drink section. In the 7-11, my city has two 7-11's but they don't have slurpies or big gulps at all... what's the point? The 7-11 has a wide variety of these energy drinks. They are easily identified because they come in very small glass bottles.
At school, teachers or someone brings in these drinks all of the time and hands them out to the teachers. So far I have had one drink that was super fortified with vitamin C. I've had the red hot Korean ginseng drink. Korea is famous for growing the best ginseng around. The teachers explained to me that this drink is very good for sexual stamena. It seemed inappropriate at the time, but who am I to question the establishment? I've also had a variety of unidentified Korean energy drinks.
It's a huge market here. This must be due to the lack of caffeine in the country. You cannot buy black tea here if your life depended upon it. All you can get is green tea and barley tea. Believe me, there is only so much of this tea that you can drink before needing good old Lipton tea with caffeine. There is coffee here, but it is of such poor quality. There are some good coffee bars in the city, but at work you're at the mercy of the coffee machine, that adds powdered mix to hot water. Not the recipe for quality.
This is the reason that I'm so tired each day. First I thought it was jet lag, but it's been nearly a month since I left. Then I thought it was because the school day goes until 5 not until 2:30 like U.S. schools. Now I realise that at school I drink tea, lots of it. During the day I drink pepsi, lots of it. I was a caffeine addict. Now, I have basically gone cold turkey and it's killing me. I need me some caffeine. I know some people will think that I should just stop drinking caffeiene and that my body will reach homeostasis and I'll live forever in strawberry fields and such not. Reality check, I don't drink, I don't smoke. Don't take away my caffeine, I need it. I'm like most Americans, my main source of calories comes from caffeinated beverages.
At school, teachers or someone brings in these drinks all of the time and hands them out to the teachers. So far I have had one drink that was super fortified with vitamin C. I've had the red hot Korean ginseng drink. Korea is famous for growing the best ginseng around. The teachers explained to me that this drink is very good for sexual stamena. It seemed inappropriate at the time, but who am I to question the establishment? I've also had a variety of unidentified Korean energy drinks.
It's a huge market here. This must be due to the lack of caffeine in the country. You cannot buy black tea here if your life depended upon it. All you can get is green tea and barley tea. Believe me, there is only so much of this tea that you can drink before needing good old Lipton tea with caffeine. There is coffee here, but it is of such poor quality. There are some good coffee bars in the city, but at work you're at the mercy of the coffee machine, that adds powdered mix to hot water. Not the recipe for quality.
This is the reason that I'm so tired each day. First I thought it was jet lag, but it's been nearly a month since I left. Then I thought it was because the school day goes until 5 not until 2:30 like U.S. schools. Now I realise that at school I drink tea, lots of it. During the day I drink pepsi, lots of it. I was a caffeine addict. Now, I have basically gone cold turkey and it's killing me. I need me some caffeine. I know some people will think that I should just stop drinking caffeiene and that my body will reach homeostasis and I'll live forever in strawberry fields and such not. Reality check, I don't drink, I don't smoke. Don't take away my caffeine, I need it. I'm like most Americans, my main source of calories comes from caffeinated beverages.
Happy Happy Happy Happy
Some of you have heard of this one. What is up with things from Asia having the word "happy" in the title? It seems like you find candy from Asia or something and it's always called "supper lemon happy candy" or something. I don't understand this, but it's true. They love the word happy. Maybe this is why they love Hello Kitty and other cute and cuddly things like Cheburashka. They're all "happy."
While browsing in E-Mart, they started to play muzak over the speakers. It was a muzak version of "Happy Talk" from South Pacific. This was funny enough. I was just about rolling in the isles of the fresh fish section. But, the best part came later. Later on in the song, when it got to the chorus voices started saying "happy happy happy happy happy happy" like it was some kind of cheery cult mantra. Oh my God. It was the funniest thing I have ever heard, and I listened to Michael Bolton's opera CD "My Secret Passion."
Later, after buying some plates and bowls and such, I took my goods to a wrapping station, to get some paper to wrap my dishes in so they wouldn't break. The paper that was available was the complimentary gift wrapping paper from E-Mart. The paper was pastel pink, with the faces of Smiling families: mom, dad, and little Sally, all smilling from ear to ear. Then the paper had the word "happy" printed all over it. This was the most surreal experience ever. Apparently if you're not happy at E-Mart there is definitely something wrong with you. The place is designed for maximum happiness. All those not happy will be sent to re-education camps to learn to be more happy.
Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy
While browsing in E-Mart, they started to play muzak over the speakers. It was a muzak version of "Happy Talk" from South Pacific. This was funny enough. I was just about rolling in the isles of the fresh fish section. But, the best part came later. Later on in the song, when it got to the chorus voices started saying "happy happy happy happy happy happy" like it was some kind of cheery cult mantra. Oh my God. It was the funniest thing I have ever heard, and I listened to Michael Bolton's opera CD "My Secret Passion."
Later, after buying some plates and bowls and such, I took my goods to a wrapping station, to get some paper to wrap my dishes in so they wouldn't break. The paper that was available was the complimentary gift wrapping paper from E-Mart. The paper was pastel pink, with the faces of Smiling families: mom, dad, and little Sally, all smilling from ear to ear. Then the paper had the word "happy" printed all over it. This was the most surreal experience ever. Apparently if you're not happy at E-Mart there is definitely something wrong with you. The place is designed for maximum happiness. All those not happy will be sent to re-education camps to learn to be more happy.
Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy
All Hail The Great And Powerful E-Mart
Last night I took the bus to Pyongtank with my new American friend Carl, a.k.a. Mr. Korea. Pyongtank is about 30 minutes away, and it is where the E-Mart is. OOooohhhhh... E-Mart. Now, I have never been to Pyontank or E-Mart. I have heard people speak of E-Mart. It's like this mythical place, crawling with foreigners, and selling all of those elusive things that you can't get here in Anseong. Things like dishes and forks. Forks??? I didn't know that you could get forks in Korea. I thought there was a trade embargo on forks. Did you hear? They have forks!!!
So, on the bus to Pyongtank there was a drunken older gentleman. That is to say, there was an old man who was so incredibly drunk. You could smell it on him. He was not happy that Carl and I were speaking English. He sat in front of Carl. He kept talking to Carl, and was getting ticked off. He started to poke at Carl and mimed punching him. Wisely Carl moved one seat away from the inebriated old man. Finally, after an eternity, Drunky McGee got off the bus. The Gods must have heard our prayers. "Oh God, please don't make Carl have to punch this very drunken old man."
There is nothing more annoying in the world than being around youngish Koreans, whom you know speak and understand English, but they won't help you. We didn't know for certain where the bus terminal in Pyongtank was, they are not clearly maked. We kept asking on the bus. Everyone in Korea takes English in school. Young people know English. They do. It's a fact. So when you ask a question and they just look at you and then giggle with eachother, it makes you want to backhand them. I'm sorry, it just does.
Finally we reached the promised land. E-Mart. You're out of the woods, you're out of the dark, you're out of the night. Step into the sun step into the light. It's a two story department store. Think Walmart meets JC Penny. I bought some of the most expensive plates ever, I thought that spending $5 for a small plate was a bit pricey. Why should I spend good money on things I can't even take home with me? I wanted to get a reading lamp, but they were $40!!!
The very best parts of E-Mart were the Cheburashka toy I found. Yes, even here in Korea. You know how excited I was to find that. The other best part ever was the McDonald's is in E-Mart. Eating a Big Mac was like being home... but in Korea... in Pyongtank.
E-Mart, it's everything you want, at prices you can barely afford.
So, on the bus to Pyongtank there was a drunken older gentleman. That is to say, there was an old man who was so incredibly drunk. You could smell it on him. He was not happy that Carl and I were speaking English. He sat in front of Carl. He kept talking to Carl, and was getting ticked off. He started to poke at Carl and mimed punching him. Wisely Carl moved one seat away from the inebriated old man. Finally, after an eternity, Drunky McGee got off the bus. The Gods must have heard our prayers. "Oh God, please don't make Carl have to punch this very drunken old man."
There is nothing more annoying in the world than being around youngish Koreans, whom you know speak and understand English, but they won't help you. We didn't know for certain where the bus terminal in Pyongtank was, they are not clearly maked. We kept asking on the bus. Everyone in Korea takes English in school. Young people know English. They do. It's a fact. So when you ask a question and they just look at you and then giggle with eachother, it makes you want to backhand them. I'm sorry, it just does.
Finally we reached the promised land. E-Mart. You're out of the woods, you're out of the dark, you're out of the night. Step into the sun step into the light. It's a two story department store. Think Walmart meets JC Penny. I bought some of the most expensive plates ever, I thought that spending $5 for a small plate was a bit pricey. Why should I spend good money on things I can't even take home with me? I wanted to get a reading lamp, but they were $40!!!
The very best parts of E-Mart were the Cheburashka toy I found. Yes, even here in Korea. You know how excited I was to find that. The other best part ever was the McDonald's is in E-Mart. Eating a Big Mac was like being home... but in Korea... in Pyongtank.
E-Mart, it's everything you want, at prices you can barely afford.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Korean Crack
Yesterday I brought in a bag of chewy candy for my classes. We were doing a wordsearch puzzle using the new vocabulary from the story I wrote. I gave candy to the first 3 people done with the puzzle. This worked well for the first few classes. Then came the seniors. The seniors started to throw a fit, demanding candy. It was quite a sight. I stuck to my guns, candy for only the first three people to finish. They were pissed. Then came the vocational students. I thought the seniors were bad. The vocational students shouted for candy. "Teacher, candy prease." Over and over again. Then today the vocational students wouldn't accept that I was out of candy, so they followed me to the teacher's office. Demanding candy all the way. Then they tried to take juice instead. I don't know who the juice belonged to, it wasn't mine. Another teacher gave them the juice.
I had no idea that chewy candy is apparently Korean crack. Seriously, I've seen recovering people in rehab react less sharply to detox. Eventhough the students I teach are pusing 19 years old, they act as if they are 12. This is not an exaggeration on my part. They're very immature. I'm going to have to rethink this candy thing, or revamp my rules. "Teacher, candy prease."
I had no idea that chewy candy is apparently Korean crack. Seriously, I've seen recovering people in rehab react less sharply to detox. Eventhough the students I teach are pusing 19 years old, they act as if they are 12. This is not an exaggeration on my part. They're very immature. I'm going to have to rethink this candy thing, or revamp my rules. "Teacher, candy prease."
I'm So Ronery, So Ronery, So Ronery And Sadry Arone
Okay, that's not racist, it's from the movie Team America, and it's Kim Jung Il singing. It's just a quote, before I hear bad things from people.
With that said, I'm very lonely here. I've met Americans. I've met lots of Koreans. My co-workers are nice to me, not that we hang out outside of work or anything. Still, the central problem is that at the end of the day I go home to an empty apartment. I'm tired from a long day of teaching, so going out just isn't on my list of things to do. Also, there is only so much attention you can expect from your fellow countrymen here in Korea before you become an unwanted person. After all, you know what they say about fish and guests.
At home I'm a very social person. I talk to my friends everyday. I talk to my family, I see people, I do things. This has stopped here in Korea. I have no one to tell the events of my day to when I go home. I have no one I can call without it costing $5/minute or whatever the rate is. I'm hoping that when I get internet at home this will become less of a problem.
So, eventhough things are going better each day, I'm lonely. I now have my bank account open and have my medical insurance card. I'm official. Now I just need someone to hang out with and tell that to. Any takers?
With that said, I'm very lonely here. I've met Americans. I've met lots of Koreans. My co-workers are nice to me, not that we hang out outside of work or anything. Still, the central problem is that at the end of the day I go home to an empty apartment. I'm tired from a long day of teaching, so going out just isn't on my list of things to do. Also, there is only so much attention you can expect from your fellow countrymen here in Korea before you become an unwanted person. After all, you know what they say about fish and guests.
At home I'm a very social person. I talk to my friends everyday. I talk to my family, I see people, I do things. This has stopped here in Korea. I have no one to tell the events of my day to when I go home. I have no one I can call without it costing $5/minute or whatever the rate is. I'm hoping that when I get internet at home this will become less of a problem.
So, eventhough things are going better each day, I'm lonely. I now have my bank account open and have my medical insurance card. I'm official. Now I just need someone to hang out with and tell that to. Any takers?
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Crime and Punishment: The Sequel
I have written before on the state of corporal punishment in Korean schools. I have to restate a simple fact: I cannot stand this kind of physical punishment anymore. I have been here 3 weeks, and I have seen enough verbal and physical abuse of students to last me the rest of the year. Today I saw a girl, one of my favorite students (she's a loudmouth) be yelled at by a teacher for at least 30 minutes until she was sobbing hysterically. What good is supposed to come of this? This took place after her parent/teacher conference.
I know what you're all going to say. It's a different culture. They don't think of it as bad or abusive. You have to respect their culture. Pfff. Whatever. I accept it, it's what they do. I do not have to like it. I do not have to condone it. I can hold them in contempt for it. For me it is simply wrong. You do not treat other people like this. You cannot tell me that it is effective in disciplining the students.
The student caught smoking and smacked and kicked and forced to wear a sash with anti-smoking slogans on it is not doing any better. I taught him today, he sleeps through class. Yes, clearly the fear of God has been put in him and he is now a model student. I don't think so. What did the whole ordeal do? What did it prove? That absolute power corrupts?
This kind of random violence against students is all over the place. When students fall asleep in my class, I walk over to them and wake them up. The Korean teachers walk up to the students and smack them very hard to wake them up. They pinch the students. Flick them in the face. I'm sorry, I could and will never do that. I know some English teachers who have given in and started hitting kids for sleeping. It seems like overkill to me. I am feeling compelled to talk to someone about this. It's really troubling me.
I know what you're all going to say. It's a different culture. They don't think of it as bad or abusive. You have to respect their culture. Pfff. Whatever. I accept it, it's what they do. I do not have to like it. I do not have to condone it. I can hold them in contempt for it. For me it is simply wrong. You do not treat other people like this. You cannot tell me that it is effective in disciplining the students.
The student caught smoking and smacked and kicked and forced to wear a sash with anti-smoking slogans on it is not doing any better. I taught him today, he sleeps through class. Yes, clearly the fear of God has been put in him and he is now a model student. I don't think so. What did the whole ordeal do? What did it prove? That absolute power corrupts?
This kind of random violence against students is all over the place. When students fall asleep in my class, I walk over to them and wake them up. The Korean teachers walk up to the students and smack them very hard to wake them up. They pinch the students. Flick them in the face. I'm sorry, I could and will never do that. I know some English teachers who have given in and started hitting kids for sleeping. It seems like overkill to me. I am feeling compelled to talk to someone about this. It's really troubling me.
Make Sure You Use The Bathroom Before You Leave The House
Everyone grew up with their mother asking them "are you sure you don't need to use the bathroom before we leave the house?" It's been asked by mothers for centuries. I'm sure that George Washington's mother asked him and that King Tutankhamen's mother asked him. It's just what is done. With that said, mother's advice, to use the bathroom before leaving the house, has never been more important than in Korea.
To call the public bathrooms that I have encountered here "disgusting" would be the understatement of the century. I work in a school, a clean type of place. The bathrooms make me cringe. To walk in the hall anywhere remotely near the bathroom means that your nostrils are assaulted with the powerfully pungent smell of stale urine and filth. It's enough to make you hurl.
The reason behind this overwhelming stench can be found in small wastebaskets inside the cubicles of the bathroom. These are placed strategically for used toilet paper. Apparently the plumbing is not capable of dealing with the paper. Question: if the pipes can't hand the secondary matter of toilet paper... how do they handle the primary matter when people use the bathroom? I have no idea why this antiquated idea of plumbing and waste disposal is still in use today... all I know is that it is the most God-awful thing I have encountered here.
I thank God everyday when I get to school that I went before leaving the house. I can hold it all day to avoid these bathrooms. There isn't enough lysol and clorox in the known universe to disinfect these potties to my liking. The sight and smell of them will haunt me to the grave.
To call the public bathrooms that I have encountered here "disgusting" would be the understatement of the century. I work in a school, a clean type of place. The bathrooms make me cringe. To walk in the hall anywhere remotely near the bathroom means that your nostrils are assaulted with the powerfully pungent smell of stale urine and filth. It's enough to make you hurl.
The reason behind this overwhelming stench can be found in small wastebaskets inside the cubicles of the bathroom. These are placed strategically for used toilet paper. Apparently the plumbing is not capable of dealing with the paper. Question: if the pipes can't hand the secondary matter of toilet paper... how do they handle the primary matter when people use the bathroom? I have no idea why this antiquated idea of plumbing and waste disposal is still in use today... all I know is that it is the most God-awful thing I have encountered here.
I thank God everyday when I get to school that I went before leaving the house. I can hold it all day to avoid these bathrooms. There isn't enough lysol and clorox in the known universe to disinfect these potties to my liking. The sight and smell of them will haunt me to the grave.
Finally: The Americans Say Hello
Last night I finally met up with some of the Americans teaching here in Anseong. This was such a relief. On friday, I ran into Victoria, a woman from Maine, on the street. Seeing another American stunned me. Literally I felt like I had seen an alien. We exchanged numbers and emailed eachother. We agreed to meet for dinner on wednesday.
When I arrived at the designated spot, I met another American, Carl from Florida. Carl is Mr. Korea, he's been in Korea for 3 years, but only a few months in Anseong. The three of us went to dinner at a restaurant where you grill your meat at the table. It was good.
Of course, the best part of the meal was just sitting around and talking. Like all teachers do, we talked about our students, about the schools and the lack of assistance we get in lesson planning, we talked about cultural things.
It was a great night. We walked around a bit, Carl and I went to the supermarket... where I met 2 Iraqis here on vacation. Foreigners abound I guess, if you know where to look for them.
Now, why could the company that placed me here drop me an email saying "Oh, these other Americans are in your city, send them an email." Seriously, much of the culture shock and strangeness could be avoided. It makes sense... tell that to the company.
When I arrived at the designated spot, I met another American, Carl from Florida. Carl is Mr. Korea, he's been in Korea for 3 years, but only a few months in Anseong. The three of us went to dinner at a restaurant where you grill your meat at the table. It was good.
Of course, the best part of the meal was just sitting around and talking. Like all teachers do, we talked about our students, about the schools and the lack of assistance we get in lesson planning, we talked about cultural things.
It was a great night. We walked around a bit, Carl and I went to the supermarket... where I met 2 Iraqis here on vacation. Foreigners abound I guess, if you know where to look for them.
Now, why could the company that placed me here drop me an email saying "Oh, these other Americans are in your city, send them an email." Seriously, much of the culture shock and strangeness could be avoided. It makes sense... tell that to the company.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Korean Students Are...
Before coming to Korea, I was full of ideas of what a Korean student looked and acted like. We all have that idea in our head of the respectful Asian student. The student that sits at their desk quietly, taking notes on every word that comes out of your mouth. The scientific or math prodigy. The amazing violinist or pianist. You think about those "studies." You know the "studies" that rank schools, and put Japan and China in the number one and two slots and the USA is number 893. You know what I'm talking about. This is the idea that we all have in our heads of the average Asian student.
Now for a dose of reality. The average Korean student is the same as the average American student. They spend their time in class talking, playing with their cellular phones, trying to listen to their mp3 players, doodling, applying make-up, staring into a mirror. This is whom I have to try to teach to.
On top of this normal behavior, my school is a vocational school, and the vast majority of high school students have no interrest in learning English. Sure, if you want to get a good job working for Samsung or LG you have to have excellent English skills. But the fact is that every student is forced to take English, so the one's that gave up long ago are still being forced to work at it. Getting these students to speak English is like pulling teeth.
This is my life, for 22 hours a week. 22 classes that do not want to be there, that do not want to learn English. This is not the "reality" that exists in my American mind. How strange it is when actual reality butts in and ruins everything.
Now for a dose of reality. The average Korean student is the same as the average American student. They spend their time in class talking, playing with their cellular phones, trying to listen to their mp3 players, doodling, applying make-up, staring into a mirror. This is whom I have to try to teach to.
On top of this normal behavior, my school is a vocational school, and the vast majority of high school students have no interrest in learning English. Sure, if you want to get a good job working for Samsung or LG you have to have excellent English skills. But the fact is that every student is forced to take English, so the one's that gave up long ago are still being forced to work at it. Getting these students to speak English is like pulling teeth.
This is my life, for 22 hours a week. 22 classes that do not want to be there, that do not want to learn English. This is not the "reality" that exists in my American mind. How strange it is when actual reality butts in and ruins everything.
Mrs. Roper Has A Heart Of Gold
I know that I wrote before about my landlady, and how she buts into my apartment and life without warning or invite, but she's also there for me when I need help. Last night I was exhausted when I got home. It was a long day of trying to get children to speak English. Literally, it was like pulling teeth. I don't know if this was due to the BEAUTIFUL spring day or the fact that none of the children here care about English.
So, I was exhausted. My fridge was on empty. I had some old celery, a bit of yogurt, some grapes, and water. None of this added up to a meal. I ate the grapes but that didn't really fill the void. So, I went downstairs to my landlady. She was just getting home. She was kind enough to call Dominoes Pizza and place an order for me. So nice of her. When the pizza came, it was delivered to her apartment. Her husband rushed it up to me, and then ran downstairs to pay the delivery man. He came back up with my change and told me that the theatre near my place was showing Mission Impossible 3. It's so nice of them to think of things that I would like. It could be much worse.
My landlady and her husband rescued me when I was too tired to tredge to the market and then climb up that steep hill to my building and up 3 stories worth of stairs to my apartment. They rock.
So, I was exhausted. My fridge was on empty. I had some old celery, a bit of yogurt, some grapes, and water. None of this added up to a meal. I ate the grapes but that didn't really fill the void. So, I went downstairs to my landlady. She was just getting home. She was kind enough to call Dominoes Pizza and place an order for me. So nice of her. When the pizza came, it was delivered to her apartment. Her husband rushed it up to me, and then ran downstairs to pay the delivery man. He came back up with my change and told me that the theatre near my place was showing Mission Impossible 3. It's so nice of them to think of things that I would like. It could be much worse.
My landlady and her husband rescued me when I was too tired to tredge to the market and then climb up that steep hill to my building and up 3 stories worth of stairs to my apartment. They rock.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
When In Korea... Avoid The Noid
I did it. I had my first real American meal. Over the weekend I had the quintessential American fast food... pizza. Not just any pizza mind you... but Dominoes. Yes, here in Anseong we have both Dominoes and Pizza Hut. However, Dominoes was good enough to tape a flyer to my door, so they got my business.
Pizza here is different than pizza at home. That's a given. The crust is the same, nice and chewy, golden brown. The cheese is good, actually it was the most dairy I've had since coming to Korea. The difference lies in the toppings. Now, I had a steak pizza, a good choice. The pizza had no sauce, cheese, steak, peppers, broccoli, and a drizzle of sour cream on it. It was aesthetically pleasing and hit the spot. Not quite the pizza from home, but close enough to give me warm fuzzy feelings.
Now, the choices of pizza here are strangely foreign, definitely Korean. You could get a stir-fry pizza (bimimbop I think it's called), or basically anything you could imagine. There weren't a whole lot of "normal" choices, but they did have pepperoni. For side dishes you could get bread (not breadsticks or garlic bread... just plain bread), spaghetti, baked spaghetti, or various Korean soups.
All in all, it was a successful meal, but definitely an experience. By the way, pizza here is very expensive. It was $25 for the pizza and a coke. Not something I'll be doing constantly, but when I need a reminder of home, I can always count on Dominoes to deliver it in 30 minutes or less.
Pizza here is different than pizza at home. That's a given. The crust is the same, nice and chewy, golden brown. The cheese is good, actually it was the most dairy I've had since coming to Korea. The difference lies in the toppings. Now, I had a steak pizza, a good choice. The pizza had no sauce, cheese, steak, peppers, broccoli, and a drizzle of sour cream on it. It was aesthetically pleasing and hit the spot. Not quite the pizza from home, but close enough to give me warm fuzzy feelings.
Now, the choices of pizza here are strangely foreign, definitely Korean. You could get a stir-fry pizza (bimimbop I think it's called), or basically anything you could imagine. There weren't a whole lot of "normal" choices, but they did have pepperoni. For side dishes you could get bread (not breadsticks or garlic bread... just plain bread), spaghetti, baked spaghetti, or various Korean soups.
All in all, it was a successful meal, but definitely an experience. By the way, pizza here is very expensive. It was $25 for the pizza and a coke. Not something I'll be doing constantly, but when I need a reminder of home, I can always count on Dominoes to deliver it in 30 minutes or less.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Mondays: Am I Supposed To Pay Attention?
Ah, mondays. It's the same the world around. The return to the daily grind from the sweet release of the weekend. Time to put that suit back on, get back on the expressway for gridlock, and time for those dang meetings.
Every monday morning in Korea, we have a meeting for all teachers. The meeting begins with everyone standing up, looking at the flag and then sitting back down. This is the only part of the meeting that makes sense to me. The rest of the meeting, which can last for over 30 minutes, is made up of different teachers speaking Korean and the vice principle speaking Korean. To help break up the monotony, there are hand-outs... in Korean.
Now, I have quite a pile of these handouts in Korean. For those of you who forgot, I do not speak or read or write Korean. So why do I need these handouts? No one translates them for me. No one interprets for the speakers in the meeting. I just sit here, on-line, catching up on my email. It's strange to me, that no on has ever offered to interpret for me. I hope it's nothing important like the emergency evacuation practices or what to do in case of Soviet invasion.
Every monday morning in Korea, we have a meeting for all teachers. The meeting begins with everyone standing up, looking at the flag and then sitting back down. This is the only part of the meeting that makes sense to me. The rest of the meeting, which can last for over 30 minutes, is made up of different teachers speaking Korean and the vice principle speaking Korean. To help break up the monotony, there are hand-outs... in Korean.
Now, I have quite a pile of these handouts in Korean. For those of you who forgot, I do not speak or read or write Korean. So why do I need these handouts? No one translates them for me. No one interprets for the speakers in the meeting. I just sit here, on-line, catching up on my email. It's strange to me, that no on has ever offered to interpret for me. I hope it's nothing important like the emergency evacuation practices or what to do in case of Soviet invasion.
Dan's Blog: Bringing People Together Since April 2006
It's amazing. Who knew that so many people would be interrested in my life here in Korea. Correction, in my agony here in Anseong. The people that contact me out of the blue really make my day so much brighter.
I am hearing from people that I very very rarely hear from. Friends from back in my Western Michigan University days. It's nice and strange at the same time to find out that these people are checking my blog everyday, like it's the morning newspaper. Well, it's filled with more entertaining news than the newspaper and it's less depressing.
The people that read my blog and email me about it really surprise me. I only thought a few people would really care about what is going on here, and to find a broader more diverse audience makes me very happy. So, read on, and I will keep coming up with new and exotic things to write. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it.
I am hearing from people that I very very rarely hear from. Friends from back in my Western Michigan University days. It's nice and strange at the same time to find out that these people are checking my blog everyday, like it's the morning newspaper. Well, it's filled with more entertaining news than the newspaper and it's less depressing.
The people that read my blog and email me about it really surprise me. I only thought a few people would really care about what is going on here, and to find a broader more diverse audience makes me very happy. So, read on, and I will keep coming up with new and exotic things to write. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it.
The Scarlet Letter
I've written before about the punishment levied against students here in Korea. Now for a new installment with new punishments.
Last week I saw a girl being punished by the gym teacher. While the teacher was berating her, she had to kneel on the floor with both of her hands up in the air. She kept her head down and was crying. I guess it's better than being smacked, kicked, and yelled at.
Today two male students had misbehaved. One was the boy who was caught smoking, the one from my first entry about punishment. I'm not sure of which rules were broken by the boys. Today they have to wear bright yellow sashes with blue and red writing on them. These mark that the boys are bad and break the rules. The sashes have anti-smoking slogans on them. The boys also have to sit in the hall at desks just outside of the teachers' office. Each time a teacher goes by, they have to stand up. They also tend to get yelled at all day long.
So, to sum up... you don't really want to break the rules in school in Korea. You will be broken down to tears by the faculty, you may get smacked or kicked, or you may be marked like a modern Hester Prine.
Last week I saw a girl being punished by the gym teacher. While the teacher was berating her, she had to kneel on the floor with both of her hands up in the air. She kept her head down and was crying. I guess it's better than being smacked, kicked, and yelled at.
Today two male students had misbehaved. One was the boy who was caught smoking, the one from my first entry about punishment. I'm not sure of which rules were broken by the boys. Today they have to wear bright yellow sashes with blue and red writing on them. These mark that the boys are bad and break the rules. The sashes have anti-smoking slogans on them. The boys also have to sit in the hall at desks just outside of the teachers' office. Each time a teacher goes by, they have to stand up. They also tend to get yelled at all day long.
So, to sum up... you don't really want to break the rules in school in Korea. You will be broken down to tears by the faculty, you may get smacked or kicked, or you may be marked like a modern Hester Prine.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Cafeteria Life
Each weekday I eat lunch at the school cafeteria. This is the main source of my sustainence and source of Korean cuisine. I've asked and the teachers believe the food to be typical of Korean cuisine and of normal quality. So, in other words, it's not disgusting food but ordinary.
With that said, the food here in the cafeteria is always an adventure and sometimes a slap in the face. First, you go through the line and pick up a pair of chopsticks from the container and a spoon and your trey. The trey is metal, the food is hot. You do the math. The trey gets very very hot.
Each and every day there is rice, kim-chi, soup, and another side dish or two. Usually the rice and the soup are the best thing on the menu in my opinion. Other items scare the hell out of me.
Horrors encountered so far include all kim-chi (see Korean Cuisine for a more complete discussion of the horrors of Kim-chi), squid soup (I can't eat anything with suction cups and tentacles), pork with hard-boiled eggs (the whole eggs were a yellow brown color, not something encountered in nature), seaweed with the tiniest fish ever and peanuts (smelled like fish food, but contained the smallest fish ever... whole).
Some items are on the menu and make me so happy. These include french fries. Sure, they were ice cold and I'm certain they were seasoned with cinnamon, but I was happy none the less. Fried fish, tasted exactly like a fish stick. Not my favorite food, but you take what you can get. Ketchup, the king of condiments. Lastly, tempura zuccini (I think that's what it was) but it was good and served with ketchup. You can't complain about that.
Outside of school my diet mainly consists of fruit and juice. I like to keep it simple. Maybe I'll cook something more bland and stomach friendly like chicken soup or potatoes, but that's about it.
With that said, the food here in the cafeteria is always an adventure and sometimes a slap in the face. First, you go through the line and pick up a pair of chopsticks from the container and a spoon and your trey. The trey is metal, the food is hot. You do the math. The trey gets very very hot.
Each and every day there is rice, kim-chi, soup, and another side dish or two. Usually the rice and the soup are the best thing on the menu in my opinion. Other items scare the hell out of me.
Horrors encountered so far include all kim-chi (see Korean Cuisine for a more complete discussion of the horrors of Kim-chi), squid soup (I can't eat anything with suction cups and tentacles), pork with hard-boiled eggs (the whole eggs were a yellow brown color, not something encountered in nature), seaweed with the tiniest fish ever and peanuts (smelled like fish food, but contained the smallest fish ever... whole).
Some items are on the menu and make me so happy. These include french fries. Sure, they were ice cold and I'm certain they were seasoned with cinnamon, but I was happy none the less. Fried fish, tasted exactly like a fish stick. Not my favorite food, but you take what you can get. Ketchup, the king of condiments. Lastly, tempura zuccini (I think that's what it was) but it was good and served with ketchup. You can't complain about that.
Outside of school my diet mainly consists of fruit and juice. I like to keep it simple. Maybe I'll cook something more bland and stomach friendly like chicken soup or potatoes, but that's about it.
Home Sweet Home III
New pictures of the apartment. Highlights include: the new couch and ricecooker, the television, my shelves with things on them, my Korean cleaning supplies, and the stained glass in my front door.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Coke And The Promise Of Hope
I've been in South Korea now for two weeks. Frankly, it seems like much longer. I have a hard time remembering being home now. If you have never been so completely away from home it's hard to understand. Being on vacation is different, knowing that you will be home in 2 weeks makes all the difference. Being away for one year seems like such a long time to pass, and it's going by oh so slowly.
The strangest thing about being so far away from home and so far removed for me is the language barrier. Maybe it's the sheer amount of new things, but I cannot for the life of me keep any Korean words in my head. The only new word I learned is "bop" which is rice. People tell me new words, and they go in one ear and out the other. It is strange to be somewhere and to not speak your native language. I spend all weekend not speaking English. It's strange to not hear and not speak your own language. Yesterday at the immigration office in Suwon, I saw my first "Europeans" since entering Korea. I was so excited, it was a bit pathetic and rediculous. I didn't know these people but I searched their faces for a clue, anything, that told me they were experiencing the same thing. It was strange.
When you're in such a strange place, anything familiar becomes a life raft, promising hope that things will get better. I had a coke the other day. It was sitting in my fridge, getting good and cold. All day I thought about that coke, and how great it was going to be. I don't especially like coke, but it was something familiar. I've never tasted anything so good in my life. There's a Pizza Hut here in Anseong. That's for next time. I have to see if it's the same, or at least similar enough to give me the same reaction. Anything that is familiar. I've experienced too much new for such a short period of time. It's time for the familiar to give me a sense of security and belonging.
The strangest thing about being so far away from home and so far removed for me is the language barrier. Maybe it's the sheer amount of new things, but I cannot for the life of me keep any Korean words in my head. The only new word I learned is "bop" which is rice. People tell me new words, and they go in one ear and out the other. It is strange to be somewhere and to not speak your native language. I spend all weekend not speaking English. It's strange to not hear and not speak your own language. Yesterday at the immigration office in Suwon, I saw my first "Europeans" since entering Korea. I was so excited, it was a bit pathetic and rediculous. I didn't know these people but I searched their faces for a clue, anything, that told me they were experiencing the same thing. It was strange.
When you're in such a strange place, anything familiar becomes a life raft, promising hope that things will get better. I had a coke the other day. It was sitting in my fridge, getting good and cold. All day I thought about that coke, and how great it was going to be. I don't especially like coke, but it was something familiar. I've never tasted anything so good in my life. There's a Pizza Hut here in Anseong. That's for next time. I have to see if it's the same, or at least similar enough to give me the same reaction. Anything that is familiar. I've experienced too much new for such a short period of time. It's time for the familiar to give me a sense of security and belonging.
The Korean Restaurant Experience
Yesterday after the students finished their mid-term exams for the day, several teachers (myself included) went out for lunch to a restaurant here in Juksan. I was unaware of this.
The restaurant was very nice, and much more intimate than American restaurants. With that said, here is the deal. There are no chairs, of course. You must sit on the floor, on very thin pillows. Now, for those of you who do not know, last winter I fell on the ice and injured my knee severely. Over the summer I injured my back while moving and have been seeing the chiropractor since then. Also, in Korea I sleep on a slab of concrete which causes constant back pain. So... sitting on the floor did not agree with me at all. It was very painful for me and not that enjoyable. Also, my leg fell asleep immediately. I endured and carried on. I'm such a brave little toaster.
The food at the restaurant was quite good. It was not rediculously spicy like the rest of the food I have had here. Each person had their own bowl of rice, and then the table was covered with small bowls of side dishes. You use your chopsticks and eat what you like from the table. This included bowls of soup that you used your long spoon, took a bite, and that was it. Kind of strange but I can adapt.
Now, the food that was offered in addition to the rice. Cabbage with apples and mayonnaise. Seaweed. Whole fish. Raw fish. Squid. Bean Sprouts. Meat? Crab. Mushrooms. Soup. Steamed scrambled egg. Fried rice pancake thing.
I am fairly certain that while at the restaurant and sampling the food, that I ate nothing but carteledge. It looked like little bits of meat, but the crunch told me otherwise. The crab that was served was eaten whole. Shell and all. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. I did not partake in that, plus it was covered with what looked like a very spicy sauce.
At the end of the meal I had not eaten enough to please the people. These are the same people that obsess about me losing weight. I guess it's true, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
The restaurant was very nice, and much more intimate than American restaurants. With that said, here is the deal. There are no chairs, of course. You must sit on the floor, on very thin pillows. Now, for those of you who do not know, last winter I fell on the ice and injured my knee severely. Over the summer I injured my back while moving and have been seeing the chiropractor since then. Also, in Korea I sleep on a slab of concrete which causes constant back pain. So... sitting on the floor did not agree with me at all. It was very painful for me and not that enjoyable. Also, my leg fell asleep immediately. I endured and carried on. I'm such a brave little toaster.
The food at the restaurant was quite good. It was not rediculously spicy like the rest of the food I have had here. Each person had their own bowl of rice, and then the table was covered with small bowls of side dishes. You use your chopsticks and eat what you like from the table. This included bowls of soup that you used your long spoon, took a bite, and that was it. Kind of strange but I can adapt.
Now, the food that was offered in addition to the rice. Cabbage with apples and mayonnaise. Seaweed. Whole fish. Raw fish. Squid. Bean Sprouts. Meat? Crab. Mushrooms. Soup. Steamed scrambled egg. Fried rice pancake thing.
I am fairly certain that while at the restaurant and sampling the food, that I ate nothing but carteledge. It looked like little bits of meat, but the crunch told me otherwise. The crab that was served was eaten whole. Shell and all. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. I did not partake in that, plus it was covered with what looked like a very spicy sauce.
At the end of the meal I had not eaten enough to please the people. These are the same people that obsess about me losing weight. I guess it's true, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
What To Watch, What To Watch???
Korean television. Wow. What can I say? To call it random would be an understatement. To call it rediculous and stupid may be a tad bit too on the mark. So, what can one hope to see on Korean television? Here are your choices... pay attention.
Yes, I've seen it. Spongebob Squarepants speaks Korean!! Who knew?
There is one channel that every time I flip through is apparently a gameshow (I use that term loosely) of the board game Othello (the one with the white and blacks circles). It's just two people playing the game, nothing else. Yeah, that's all that it is. Morning, noon, and night. Very popular game apparently. Update: it's actually a Chinese game called GO. Still seems pretty boring to have an entire channel devoted to it.
Home shopping. Lots of home shopping channels. These account for about one third of all the channels. They all appear to be selling the home massage/exercise device where you stick electrodes to yourself and electrocute yourself. Seriously, it's always on and always for sale.
The cheeziest pop-singers that you have ever seen. Very popular. They are on about one third of the channels here. Their music all sounds the same, and they all look the same. Men with spiked up hair, shirts with the sleeves ripped off. Women with the biggest hair you've ever seen. Think 1986 but with bad elevator music.
Various reality and drama shows. So, we have the very worst that culture has to offer in the reality show... and the very worst that culture has to offer in the soap opera. Everyone is dumber for watching these.
Educational TV is popular too. There's a channel teaching you math, and one teaching you English. They look like they cost about $12.50 to produce.
Lastly there is the English programming. Thank God for minor miracles. There is the AFN (Armed Forces Network) which shows everything really, from E.R. to Law & Order to 20/20. Instead of commercials there is propaganda. There is also the Discovery Channel. Many an hour of my life is wasted watching this. It's nice after hearing something you can't understand all day, coming home to English. Who cares if the subject matter is boring, you still get a small island of sanity.
So, don't touch that dial, because you have yet to buy your self-electrocution device or to win the great Othello challenge game show. The choice is yours. Maybe it's best to choose a book.
Garbage Bags And The Korean Brand of Christianity
I had to buy garbage bags. The trash was piling up in my kitchen, it was pretty gross. Now, in the US you simply head on off to Walmart or some other less hellbound store and buy some Glaad bags. Not in Korea. Here, you need special specific bags, or the garbage men (whom I have never personally seen) will not take your garbage. Now, I say this with a grain of salt, since there are plent of bags of garbage sitting around that are not in the proper bags. But, I'm a good boy and will follow the rules of this country, wether they pertain to shoes outside the door, Hello Kitty surgical masks, or the proper garbage bags.
Now, I asked people where to get these bags. The answer was never quite clear. I knew that they had them at the ONE place I know how to go in this city, the LG Supermarket. Well, I didn't see them when I went shopping on saturday. So, yesterday I asked Mr. Yoo, the man who drives me to and from work, to go with me to the supermarket to get them. He agreed.
Thank God that he went with me!! First, at the checkout you ask for the bags. You tell them how many (at LG they come in packs of 20), and what size (small, medium, large). Then you pay. When you're done, you take your receipt up to the service counter and pick up your bags. There is no way in hell that I would have been able to do this on my own. Things in Korea are overly complicated. Please note in the pictures, my officially bagged garbage, and then the group of unofficial bags on the curb. Great. By the way, watermelons at the LG are $9.80!! Anyone else find this price high for a small round seedless melon?
As for Christianity... I was unaware that Christianity was so popular in Korea. This city has lots and lots of churches, in fact, my apartment is across the street from a very large church. The churches here are all very large, I have not seen a small local church. The thing that interrests me most though about these churches is this. At the top of every spire, and they all have spires, are large crosses. That isn't out of the ordinary at all. The strangeness begins when night falls. At night, the neon lights turn on and these crosses glow bright red. Fire engine red. Red crosses dot the horizon of the city. This is the tackiest form of Christianity I've seen since Tammy Faye Baker. You would NEVER see this in Howell, let alone in any place I've been in the US. But as they say... to each their own.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Home Sweet Home II
My dining room, washing machine, and a bad picture of the evil bed. May it burn in hell.
Home Sweet Home
Some lovely shots of my apartment. Please note the kickin' sound system on my shelves. More to come.
A View Of Anseong
All photos were taken using my super small digital spy cam, for those of you who saw it and laughed.
The view from my apartment. They consider this a small city. See why I'm hesitant to wander out alone too much?
The view from my apartment. They consider this a small city. See why I'm hesitant to wander out alone too much?
My Korean Landlady
No, it's not a new sit-com on the WB. It's my life. Duh. Saturday morning, my landlady and her husband (I'm assuming that's who he is) were working on the apartment next to mine. Actually, it's attached to my apartment, but they put a big wardrobe infront of the door connecting them, so they're separate now. The problem by the way is that you can hear EVERYTHING going on over there.
Anyway... I received a delivery of some appliances, and my landlady just barged right on into my apartment. She was unhappy that I kept my shoes by the door and not in the hall (OMG, it's an international incident). Then she told me to clean up (now that I have a vacuum I can do that). She showed me how to use the washing machine, and her husband installed the phone. He also told me to keep my shoes in the hall (I get it, thanks).
The rest of the afternoon, the landlady was just coming into my apartment without warning. Now, on t.v. we all like the scrappy landlady character who is the busybody of the building, keeping eveyrone in line. In real life, it's annoying and will end in me yelling at her or something. We'll have to wait and see how that turns out.
By the way, my shoes are now in the hallway. I've cleaned up with my new vacuum cleaner, and I've done laundry. The landlady wins... for now.
The Yellow Sand Is Coming!!!
Here is something that the tour books won't tell you. Did you know that the Korean peninsula is under constant "attack" from yellow sand from China and Mongolia? Well, it is. This means that the sky is always hazy and foggy. There are warnings today on the Armed Forces Network (God Bless America) about the sand. It's much like smog warnings or ozone action days. More importantly, this means that my allergies are freaking out and that I can't stop my eyes from burning and watering, and my nose from running. I'm looking quite pathetic. I may just have to get a Hello Kitty surgical mask. I hate yellow sand. Damned China and Mongolia. I think that each country should keep their own sand and durt and such, and leave me out of it. Just another fun-filled fact about Korea.
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